How long should this international long distance relationship last?

Hi all. I’m a practicing and devout Catholic living in the US. Last August, I met a phenomenal young man I was privileged to spend 3 days with. He is a European medical student. We didn’t have any expectations whenever we first met, but after the cliche phone calls, text messages, and FaceTime dates-- we’ve grown quite fond of one another. We pray everyday together and have put our relationship in God’s hands.

He and I have planned visits to see one another for the past year, but each time-- one of our parents disapproves. They claim that things cannot work out between us, but I believe they’re afraid of their children moving to a different country-- which would be inevitable if things were to continue well between us.

I purchased his flight him to come after I get back from a missionary trip in July. We both decided this would be the best decision. His mom became very upset and threatened to disown him if he left. She then continued onto talk badly about me, even though we have never communicated with one another. It hurts a lot, and to make everything short-- I’m not sure if this is a sign from The Lord that we should move on or not. When do you know to stop fighting and to let go?

His mother said we would have to wait until next summer, or the summer after that. She is not sure herself. He says I can wait for him, and this past year, it’s all I’ve been doing. Canceling plans and working around my schedule so we can talk on the phone at a good time for him. I understand his studies are important, but I feel like I deserve better and he can give better. I feel as if he is taking me for granted, expecting me to always make things work to his convenience. And now to me, it’s beginning to feel as if our relationship isn’t even real. I can’t see him. I can’t touch him. It’s like he’s been created in my mind.

Is it time to let go?


You are the one to make such a decision and it sounds like you already have.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit