My wife and I have been talking about when should we start to consider having another child. We have a daughter that is about 7 months old. We are both 31, and if we are going to have more children would rather do it sooner than later. I was just wondering about how soon after your first child the second or third came along. God Bless
Get going! My sister and I are 14 months apart... and we grew up being each other's best friends (we're both in our 40s now and still each others BFFs!)
We decided to leave such an important decision as this up to God. We ecologically breastfed and did not use any other method to avoid pregnancy. God gave us a 25 month space between the births of our 1st and 2nd babies, and a 31 month space between our 2nd and 3rd. My first and second children (5 and 3 years old) are the best of friends!
Pray about it and see if you can leave it in God’s hands. He won’t make a mistake!
My daughter was 3 years 4 months old when my son was born.
I think it’s a really personal decision based on a lot of factors, but I knew I was not a “Two babies” kind of mom. I was very anxious/nervous new mom and really had very little experience with infants. I knew that I needed some time between newborns – I have friends with babies as little as 1 year apart, and I could see that I would not have done well in that type of situation.
Of course, God could have sent us twins, but I think He took mercy on me by letting me have those 3 years between newborns!!!
We have really enjoyed being parents, and financially ok to add another child. We have been avoiding relations basically until we are ready for another child (neither of us are a fan of that.) I just love being a dad, it is the greatest job in the world.
[quote="mkipp, post:5, topic:184857"]
We have really enjoyed being parents, and financially ok to add another child. W*e have been avoiding relations basically until we are ready for another child (neither of us are a fan of that.) * I just love being a dad, it is the greatest job in the world.
:D I hear you! When my daughter was an infant, I was sort of "Don't even think about it!!! I'm not ready for another one yet!!!
Pray about it!
Our second one was born when the first was 27 months old… it took us several months of actively “trying” to conceive… God had his own plans for the spacing of our kids…
Our third came when #1 was 5 1/2 and #2 was almost 3 1/2… we needed that extra time to pull our heads together and be mentally stable…
Now #3 is 18 months old… back to the mental instability… hoping God will lessen other burdens because we’d love to have more…
go for it! Congratulations.
be warned, though. Baby#2 is not always as easy as baby#1. Our first baby was a sweet, docile baby. And, our second was extremely collicky (cried for 4 months), and then a sweet, but super active baby.
It was really hard to have a 18 month old and a collicky newborn. Of course, I wouldn’t change it. But, it was really, really hard.
We were pregnant with number 2 just before our daughter’s first birthday. They are 19 months apart. We’ve been discussing number 3, but have not reached a decision just yet. Pray about it, and let God’s will prevail.
[quote="CatholicSam, post:3, topic:184857"]
God gave us a 25 month space between the births of our 1st and 2nd babies, and a 31 month space between our 2nd and 3rd.
Sam and I are eerily similar.... :D
We have 24 month spacing between Baby #1 and Baby #2, and we will have (God willing, should Baby make it to July :signofcross: ) 30 month spacing between Baby #2 and Baby #3.
I can totally understand your question though, assuming your wife doesn't ecologically nurse (it's easier in a way, I think, for those of us who do, to just accept the babies as they come when they're naturally spaced 2-3 years apart) -- Regardless of how old your first baby is, if both of you feel excited about having another baby, and fertility has returned, then I would definitely just leave it all to God (i.e., abstaining would end immediately ;) , especially since neither of you want to abstain anymore). Sounds like you may be called to start working on that second baby. :whistle:
My oldest was 5 months old when I got pregnant with my second one. My second one was 11 months old when I got pregnant with my third child. I’d like more, but we’re doing NFP for at least a few more months.
My second child will be born when my first one is 22 months. I am happy with that.
My brother and I were also 14 months apart (like a PP) and I liked it a lot as a kid. Now that we are older, it doesn't really matter.
Our first and second will be just over 24 months apart. It took us five months of trying to conceive, but I was still nursing a lot!
My first two were 15 months apart; I wanted them close because I thought the five years between myself and my younger brother kept us from being close. Unfortunately, I discovered that the 15 months between my two oldest was not good sibling-rivalry-wise. The older one was insecure and jealous of #2. They are older teens now and finally starting to get along, but it wasn’t easy in the early years.
Now my #3 an #4 were 12 1/2 months apart. I was not at all thrilled upon discovery of timing of pregnancy with #4. But lo and behold, those two are very good friends (girls, perhaps that makes a big difference?)
Lesson learned: you just never can tell :eek: There is so much more that comes into play than spacing when it comes to children getting along.
From a mothering perspective, I think it is much harder having them so close together. I was definitely able to enjoy the newborns who were born 2 1/2- 3 years after their nearest siblings. The ones who were born so close together I was too exhausted to really be able to fully appreciate or enjoy.
My biggest piece of advice is to pray and go with your gut (I believe God speaks to us through our guts :D)
I wouldn’t wait at all.
Fertility is a precious gift, use it for God’s glory and honor in welcoming the precious immortal souls He blesses you with.
I have a few closely spaced children and the only difficulty I had was needing to wean earlier than I would have liked. If your wife is breastfeeding, pregnancy can cause low to no production and a lot of PAIN. So if breastfeeding is important, you might want to hold out until you are ready to wean.
#1 and #2 are 22 mos apart. #2 and #3 are 3 years apart. It just happened . . .
The older 2 were really close until #1 started college and got busy. Then, #2 and #3 grew closer, which was fun to watch.
#1 and #3 are girls, who are ~5 years apart. Their temperaments are opposite; when they were younger they SWORE they would never get along - ever! At 24 and 19 they are very close.
#2 is our 22 yr old son who is married and in the Navy. His wife is so similar to #3!! Kind of funny he married someone so like the sister he was close to before leaving home. Our daughters love their sister in law (who I call my daughter in love :p)
Don’t worry . . . God will work it all out!!
breastfeeding also helped us to space about 23.5 months apart (we were using NFP to avoid but I got confused by mixed signals and DH and I ‘bent the rules’ all the time Despite that, I didn’t get pregnant until we decided to completely stop trying to avoid and leave it up to God. Despite not having a real post partum period yet, I got pregnant 2 days later. :p) I can’t imagine having them too much closer because my DS only started sleeping through the night like within the past 2 weeks. and it was heartbreaking to lose my milk supply and have to wean him at this young age (we are just about weaned now, he goes days between nursing). But if your wife is still nursing she could choose to tandem nurse with a close spacing, I have friends who have done this.
Sometimes I wish I’d had them closer because then they would play together sooner. But I think for us this is a good spacing. I have a friend who had her two 15 months apart and she is extremely tired because her 17 month old is still up a lot at night and of course the newborn is too. But she copes well and loves being a mom of two! So I think it really depends on your personal tolerance as well!