How many of you have a Spiritual Director


Hi everyone,

I was wondering do many of you have a Spiritual Director? I am a regular Penitent and always go to Confession and have done all my youth and now as an adult, however, I have never had (except for a short time) a Spiritual Director who I have Confessed to- I always go to Confession but I like going behind the screen in the Traditional Confessional and that suits me fine in my faith, however, it was suggested to me by a Priest I admire very much that I must find a Spiritual Director as I am thinking about my Vocation.

Do most people “have Spiritual Directors” or do you just go to Confession and Confess to whichever Priest happens to be in the box? I always go in the Cathedral and you don’t usually get the same Priest unless you specify you want to Confess to him. I like going in the box, behind the screen and that suits me and my current Spiritual life but maybe I should seek a “Spiritual Director”.

I am very close to my Parish Priest who I work for and get on very well, I can always talk to him about things and he supports me in everything, however, I don’t Confess to him- I like Confessing to a Priest that I don’t know because I can truly focus on the Confession and on my sins but I have great admiration for the Priest who suggested this to me and told me I need to do certain things.

Just wondering what others do and how they feel about this?


I had my first Spiritual Director almost 3 years ago, an Opus Dei priest. I tell you, they have activities like meditations, spiritual direction, confessions, and circles. The best that can happen to you is to have an Opus Dei spiritual director. You learn so much and gives you so much courage to battle against daily evil, you want to be a saint every day, you want to show the world that you live a unity of life, that you are Catholic and not ashamed of it. Spiritual Direction happens weekly in a private confessional followed by confession (or vice versa). My SD happened to be sharp and sometimes sounded harsh, but always true to God. Sometimes I was scolded and sometimes I felt dumb and stupid, but it was always encouraging. Unlike other priests I have confessed to, he didn’t use nice words or sugar-coated things, nor gave mundane comments like some non-Opus Dei priest said “there is this lingerie store at this street, you might want to check it out, and surprise your husband while…blablabla” :eek: THE WORST.

Due to living like grasshoppers, I no longer participate in spiritual direction nor meditations, but soon I’ll find the nearest Opus Dei center once we settle later this year.

The founder of Opus Dei was St. Josemaria Escrivá.


I have a spiritual director. He is a priest of a local parish. His name is Fr. Ray. He is a very good spiritual director and has been my spiritual director for a couple of years now.


Confession and spiritual direction are two different things. For one thing, I’ve never spent an hour in the confessional!

But yes, having a spiritual director does mean having one person (priest or non-priest) that you meet with regularly. Because of the ongoing relationship the director gets to know you well. There may be certain kinds of issues or themes that tend to come up often and the director can often see patterns and trends that we as individuals can’t see in ourselves.

If the director is a priest he can also be your confessor, though some people prefer to split the two roles.

Spiritual direction is more intentional than an occasional conversation with a priest. It helps you go deeper into your relationship with God and how you live out your faith. In the case of someone discerning a vocation, a director can help you see where God may be inviting you.


My spiritual director unexpectedly moved parishes, so I’ll need to find a new one.


Confession and spiritual direction are two different things. For one thing, I’ve never spent an hour in the confessional!

Some parishes ask that penitents and priests not do this due to long lines. I would say it’s usually best to meet with a priest outside of Confession if one needs spiritual direction, especially if scrupulosity is involved.


Exactly! Can you imagine being in line waiting for a confession/direction session that goes on…and on…and on…and on… Again, confession and spiritual direction are two different things. And one thing about direction is that it is done by appointment so that both parties know there’s enough time set aside.


Two different things, but interrelated. Spiritual direction can and does happen within the context of confession, and for many people it is the only form of spiritual direction they will ever receive.

I don’t have a spiritual director, but I do have a regular confessor. I have actually spent an hour in confession, but it is definitely not the norm. :smiley: Most of the time, my confessions last 15-20 minutes, depending on the time that we have. (Don’t worry, this doesn’t happen if somebody is waiting. I usually make an appointment for confession.)


My Spiritual Director is my mentor; Monsignor Lanaux Rareshide. He is also my confessor and I feel very comfortable and better confessing face to face.

I would think that your pastor waits for his parishioners to come to him with their spiritual and personal problems or concerns just like our Father in heaven waits patiently for you to come to him.

The priest(s) in your parish are your spiritual directors and their family is you and all the parishioners. They wait and are prepared to guide us to our ultimate destination…the Kingdom which has been prepared for the faithful.


this side of the English Globe we usually go to Confession to whatever priest is on Duty to hear Confession. As for Spiritual Direction, as the priests time is precious and especially if there is not enough priests in the Parish, I would only go to him for Spiritual Direction if I was thinking about Religious Life, so he would be able to advise me.

I. If he thought I had/had not a Vocation.
2. Some Orders or Parish that he thought would fit with my personality and spiritual growth.

  1. Then if a reference was needed Fr. then could give you one, as most Orders or Seminaries will ask you for a Reference.

  2. If you are thinking of a Religious Vocations I would entreat you to look for a Religious Director in a form of a Priest even if you go to him every two weeks privately, and then go to Confession to someone else.


Also, when discerning your vocation, your Vocations Director at the Diocese is your best bet. They deal with people every day and have heard every concern, question, doubt, and over-zealous concern there is. They are trained to know how to talk to potential religious.
Start there, and in time, he may also recommend someone as a Spiritual Director specifically geared to your needs. Having a spiritual director is awesome, and certainly keeps us on the path. God bless you!


While spiritual direction may (or may not) deal with sinning, it is generally directed to other issues. It is a means of spiritual growth, and dealing with non-moral issues that may be impeding growth.

While priests may (or may not) be adept at spiritual direction, so may be deacons, professed religious and male and female laity. One of my relatives, a lay person, is a spiritual director.


I am in contact with the Vocations Director and know him quite well, thanks. I am going to see him in the near future and we will have a talk, however, I am not sure about the Diocese as he is the Diocesan Director, but it is in God’s hands.


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