How much are we supposed to say?

Hi all. Yearling Catholic here (raised as such, left for perhaps 10 years in my youth, back and with a vengeance)

I want to learn about my faith, and at least try to stumble as little as possible in God’s eyes. But I am constantly unsure of myself. Perhaps specific examples will help.

My mother doesn’t go to Church because she says she does not like the priest and doesn’t ‘get anything’ out of it. She prays the rosary and isn’t avoiding Church out of not wanting to waste time but, rather, because she just doesn’t like the priest and gets annoyed by some of the things he has said.

What do I say? Is she right? Is she wrong? I feel like it’s wrong… but how do I explain that?

Or, I have another friend and co-worker. Protestant of some sort and going to become a minister- she’s also an active lesbian. She’s obviously studied up on her theology (majored in college) (saying to me once that she thinks Catholicism is wonderful but she wouldn’t be able to “do what she does” as a Catholic). She presumably therefore knows how the Catholic Church views her ministry and her active relationship. What am I called to do?

She’s a great and warm person, and a great friend. I know I will alienate myself not only from her but from all of my friends there (except perhaps one). Am I accomplishing good if I talk with her about this?

I know Jesus said the world would hate me and it hated Him first, and that He was not bringing peace but the sword, and that I would be ridiculed for my faith in Him. I feel like I’ve already answered this question. But please tell me what I have to do.

Thanks for your patience in answering me.:blush:

With your mom tell her that we don’t go to mass to focus on the priest but on God. Tell her that he acts in Persona Christi. Ask her how can she stay away from mass because of an annoying priest, when Jesus died on the cross to give us the sacrifice of the Mass. And if she still doesn’t like the priest, she needs to find another parish. But not liking a priest is in no way a valid excuse to stay away from Jesus’ Body, Blood, Soul and Divinty. This sounds like the sin of pride. While there are priests that aren’t as good as we’d like we need to pray for them not abandon God. Praying and not going to mass is like talking to a family member on the phone but never coming to see them. If none of that works tell her that it is a mortal sin to not go to mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation.

Your lesbian friend also seems to be proud. You are supposed to conform your consience to God’s not God’s to yours, because then you end up aligning it to a certain fallen angel that I don’t want to give the respect of calling their name. Too many people have a religion of sex rather than a religion of God.

God Bless, and I’ll Pray for You!


Catholics do have a Sunday obligation… it’s good that your mother prays the Rosary, maybe Mother Mary would help her to come back to church. I think that we should go even if we don’t like the priest - we go there for the Sacraments. I don’t think it would help to get into an argument with your mom, I think it’s good to pray for her, offer your Communions for her, etc, and - she might be more ready to have a discussion as a result of the prayers. We need God to prepare people first. Then if the topic comes up, - try to not talk argumentatively… and maybe talk about yourself, how you see the Mass, etc. Just an idea :slight_smile: also does your mom know that Catholics have a Sunday obligation?

With your friend, - I’d pray for her a lot too… I think it’s important to know that we can’t really change people’s minds, if we try and if they’re not open to the truth, they might get really angry and reject what we’re saying, and be defensive. With my friends who don’t agree with Catholicism, I try to be a good friend, mention my faith sometimes as what it means to me, pray for them, and maybe something would make them think and they’d want something in the faith too, and then begin to examine their disagreement. If you bring up the theological or moral topics, maybe try to keep them as questions, so the person would look into the ideas rather than being defensive about them.

I think it’s great to evangelize and talk about the faith, but also St Therese said that prayer and sacrifices does more than words, - and I think that’s very true and we need to pray much before we have a conversation with anyone, unless it’s God’s will for it to happen and the person is ready. (in that case, we can pray for them after or even during the conversation). Above all I don’t think we should debate or argue, that really makes us look bad and pushes people away from the faith. (as I’ve learned through my own mistakes :()

God bless! :slight_smile:

Thanks so much for the wonderful advice. You all are right-- I remember now, that whenever someone told me a thing before I came back to where I belong, though I was always civil I was always scoffing on the inside.

Hard pressing never worked for me. But my friends and family who were always willing to accept me (and secretly pray for me) and be open to discussion if I brought it up, perhaps if it were not for that I would have simply built a shell around myself to ignore what the religious had to say.

A soft touch, then, and lots of prayer.

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