How Much Details Are Needed In Confession?

Hi there
I used to come on here and talk about my life as a sufferer of same-sex attraction and well unfortunately I gave in to my temptations and engaged in sexual relations with another man. I really want to confess but I don’t know if the priest will want to hear all of the details that are not too pleasant to hear, if you know what I mean. Is it possible to just confess that I had sex outside of marriage and not go into specifics because quite frankly, I feel ashamed and uncomfortable having to reveal that it was with a man and some of the acts are not very pleasant to hear about. I could really use your advice so I’ll know what to do for confession, I want to do it ASAP.

If I had done that I would say that it was with a man. Better safe than sorry, after all, this does have it’s own commandment, and the priest can probably help you with it. There are also groups just for celibate catholic gays, the priest could probably refer you to one.

Do tell him that it was homosexual activity. Beyond that, do not disclose the specifics of the activity. He’ll get that it was a physical relationship. You needn’t be concerned that the priest will judge you as more shameful than any other person engaging in morally illicit sex. In fact, it is not that unusual for people to experiment at some point in their lives with some sexual activity that deviates form the norm. Lots of priests have heard even other priests disclose that they have had homosexual and/or heterosexual sex – again despite what that person’s natural sexual attraction might be. It could have been a one-time temptation, an infrequent number of events, or --in more unusual cases (where priests are concerned) a long-time habit. Surely if a confessor has heard it from a consecrated person, hearing it from/about a lay person is not startling. (It will not be the first time he has heard it!)

If you just state that you had “sex outside of marriage,” that is too general and also not that helpful to the specific grace you need to receive. It will be cleansing and sanctifying for you to state the category, especially if you’re trying to conquer temptation to act out any SSA. You deserve, and the priest deserves, and God deserves, an opportunity to impart the specific grace.

“Be not afraid.”

God Bless,
E.

Thank you all for the help! I also hope that I will be brave enough to confess such things and also be strong enough to resist from the temptation.

Yes, you have committed a grave sin and yes, it is embarrassing to admit it.

Consider two things. First, Jesus asked forgiveness for the people who tortured and judicially murdered him. You have not killed anyone.

Second, you admitted this sin to us. Why should it be different to admit it to a priest who will help you over come it and give you the absolution that will provide the grace to resist further temptation?

You do not have to go into detail, I have been to confession in the past with the same sin, no priest ever asked me for details

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