Within a good “courting” relationship (and courting is essential) I don’t think these problems of “should I go” should come up too often.
I had a lot of problems at the beginning of my relationship with my girlfriend, meaning, I was the cause of these problems. My girlfriend helped me to get through them and we’re so much better because of it. We’ve also had some issues to work out during our courtship, but we’ve grown closer to each other through each of them. There has always been a genuine attempt to get through the problems that cause us difficulty.
I think it would be a serious problem on the part of the people involved to depend on a “perfect” relationship where there were no problems or no issues to deal with or anything to work through. A relationship IS two people making it work for each other.
Granted, there might be a time when even after working through things you don’t feel like you’ve gotten anywhere. Perhaps you feel “working through things” was only “patching things” or making things better only temporarily. If you feel, also, that there never seems to be an end and that the problems keep piling up, there might be a time to sit down with your significant other and discuss your relationship on more general terms.
I would break it down like this:
Is there a genuine attempt to make the relationship work on the part of both parties?
If “no,” analyze whether one person of the relationship needs to “wake up” or just be shocked back into reality. But if both people are in their right mind, consider ending things.
If “yes,” you have a good foundation which is essential to the stability of a long-term relationship. Continue to next question.
Do you tend to work out problems well and find solutions and/or methods to solve them over a period of time?
If “no,” talk to your significant other on ways to improve this aspect of your relationship. There’s no point in getting married if you can’t work through problems, even if you really want to make the relationship work.
If “yes,” great! You’re well on your way to finding the person right for you! Continue to next question.
Do your solutions or methods of solution provide your relationship with a means to grow as a person, as a couple, and closer to each other?
If “no,” there might be a sort of “stall” in your relationship. You feel like you’re doing everything you can to make your relationship work; you feel you really are working things out; but if the problems keep coming up and there seems to be no joy or “meaning” or LIFE to the relationship, I would suggest either seeking a priest to help guide you to more meaningful goals or really, again, having a chat and deciding what it is that your relationship is about.
If “yes,” buddy, get married. You might have problems, and you might be struggling against a particular trait or tendency of the other person, but if working through the problems and if finding a soultion consistently provides the relationship with a means to grow in love, marriage is certainly an option and should be considered.
I have written this little “breakdown” in the mindset that your relationship is based on the love of Jesus Christ, that your relationship is a chaste one, and that you respect your significant other as a person, not a means to enjoyment. You MUST celebrate the sacraments, you MUST pray with your significant other, you MUST be open to any conversation, you MUST not have secrets, etc.
If you want to know about all these, you can talk to me, but in regards to “breaking up” or “how much is too much” I hope my little chart helped.