I think, also, that it depends upon the kind of past we are talking about and the kind of man who asks.
For instance, if my past sins have left me physically ill or in a position of making another person physically ill then of course I would owe it to that person to let them know, in as tasteful a manner as possible, that being in a marriage with me may present certain challenges in terms of health and sexual intimacy.
Of course, this would hold true if my physical health - or lack thereof - was a result of a sin on my part or my being a victim of a crime. And, to be really honest, if I had physical challenges to face that were NOT related to sexuality I would be inclined to let the gentleman caller know - there are people who do not wish to marry someone that has health issues.
I also think one needs to look at what their past has done to them, in terms of needing to heal. Women who chose to have abortions and now deeply regret that action may have some deep healing to do before becoming someone’s wife.
Some women, like myself, have a health issue that requires us to participate in 12 step programs and be available to help others. I have always let a man know this by the 2nd date. Sometimes, to ‘outsiders’, what I do to stay well sound noble and wonderful but the day to day grind of a phone ringing at any time or being involved in service is not very glamorous. In fact it can be tedious as all get out…so it’s important for a potential ‘him’ to know about that part of my life.
I guess it comes down to allowing another person to make a decision about spending time with me with all pertinent information. I don’t ever want to hear from someone “well, you didn’t tell me you were teaching RCIA, sponsoring 15 women, going to 3 meetings a week, have RA and love football - if you had, then I wouldn’t have stuck around”.
Does this make any sense? It’s 2:00am and I’m on the graveyard shift so I may be thinking kind of goofy…:whacky: