How much should I give?


#1

when the continuation of a marriage is claimed to be partially dependent on the sacrifices one side is willing to make, how much is enough or too much to sacrifice in a marriage, to keep it going?


#2

Depends upon the sacrifices. If you’re being asked to sin in your sacrifices, its too much. But I know I would sacrifice A LOT to keep my marriage going if need be. Its hard to give you an answer when your post is a bit vague because what some are willing to sacrifice, others may not be. You can get tons of different opinions as members here at CAF.


#3

There are a variety of issues in my household. But when my wife says " i’m leaving you " or words to that effect, multiple times in anger, what am I supposed to do. How do I know when I’ve done all I can to help our marriage, and the rest is up to God and my wife.


#4

Who’s claiming, and who’s doing the sacrificing? This prinicipal is not to be used as a cudgel for manipulating or bullying one of the partners in a marriage. It may not be used as an entitlement for bad actions: You have to put up with this unacceptable behavior from him/her/me or you have to give in to him/her/me, because you’re married to this person, giving in is a doable sacrifice on your part, and you have make sacrifices for marriage.

Having said that, you make whatever sacrifice is going to keep the marriage healthy. Sometimes, that is a lot of give on one side, and it can be for an extended period of time. It has to be your sacrifice, though, not one thrust upon you. Ideally, it ought to be a level of sacrifice that you’ll give without score-keeping. Love has to be freely given; it cannot be compelled.

If your marriage is a wreck and you don’t know what to do or avoid doing in order to give it the best chance of surviving, find help. Talk to a marriage counsellor, even if your spouse won’t, to decide what your options are, what you’re capable of doing, and what is not in your power to do. You may want to talk to your pastor, too.


#5

Question, Do you mean you give 100% & feel you get nothing 0% back emotionally?
If that is the case I’d like to hear answers to that. If you hold everything in all the time isn’t it going to come out in anger & Is that what’s happening there?


#6

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