How much to say about retreats?



I was just wondering about your view is on this…

Is it okay to go on discernment retreats without telling your family that you are discerning or that they are in fact discernment retreats? (but saying that they’re with the sisters, what order, where, etc).

I’m going on a retreat tomorrow but I haven’t yet told my mom it’s about discernment… it’s been sort of a tough day and I don’t know if it would be wise to tell her. She might be very upset. Another reason I haven’t told her is because I’m not certain that God is calling me to religious life, I just wanted to go on a retreat to spend time praying about it and learn from the sisters. However, I feel guilty keeping this a secret. I told her about the retreat though, that it’s with nuns and they’ll be giving talks about telling us about their life, explaining how to know God’s will for your life, etc… however I didn’t say it’s specifically about religious life.

Any thoughts? thank you :slight_smile:


You are free to disclose as much or as little as you want. If you think your mother would be upset, perhaps now is not the best time to tell her. What you have already told her is perfectly adequate.

I posted a thread about telling my mother I am discerning. Someone gave me the very good advice to take it slowly. Your mother already knows you are on a retreat and what it entails, that is a good first step. If you break it to her slowly, she will probably deal with it better than if you just suddenly announce it, especially since you are still unsure yourself.

You are in my prayers.


I think you're being very wise. Wait till you know what God wants of you before you involve others.

God bless and have a wonderful retreat. You'll be in my prayers.


I agree with Emily.

Also, it doesn’t strike me as keeping it a secret simply because you are choosing not to use the label of “Discernment Retreat” to explain it. Most people wouldn’t understand what that meant anyway. :stuck_out_tongue:

I don’t think we’re obligated to share every single step of the discernment process with our loved ones. Indeed, doing so when you are unsure yourself could just confuse your mother.


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