How old is to old to be living at home?


#1

At what age does it start looking weird if someone is still living with there parents? The reason I am asking is because I am 21 and still am. And I am starting college this fall but since its a technical college they don’t have dorms (that’s the only type of school that offers Automotive which is what I am taking) so that means I will be living at home with my parents until I graduate. I am going to get to two year degrees so I will graduate when I am 25 unless I don’t take summer breaks then I will be 24. Will that look strange when I graduate at 24 and I am just getting ready to move out of my parents house? I could just get one degree so I could move on my own when I am 23 but I really would like to get both degrees. My parents don’t mind me staying at home while in college so that’s not an issue.


#2

Hun, the only questions you need to ask are two:

a) are my parents OK with me living in their house?
b) am I OK with it?

What ‘looks weird’ to anyone else matters not one little bit, and you shouldn’t give it a second’s though.


#3

I moved out at 17 for college and at the time thought I stayed there too long. I then moved back home in my mid 20’s with a wife and a dog. (We had just got back from oversees in the military and stayed with them till we found civilian jobs and a house) I can say that when you get married it is deffinately a good time to get out.

Staying at home is a practical way to save money while you are finnishing your education. Assuming you are keeping a full class schedule, etc.and are doing your fair share around the house including helping to pay to keep the fridge stocked. This is different from free loading which is the normal complaint about people who stay home into their adult years.


#4

My parents and I are fine with it


#5

If you’re going to college near your parents’ house and both you and they are happy with the arrangement, I see no reason to leave home before you’re 25. That said, I left at 18 and am very glad I did, because I’ve learned so much - but studying and working full time are a tough combination, so you’re smart to stay home. There’s no reason to go into debt to make other people think you’re independent.


#6

I am keeping a full class schedule and a part time job and I am helping around the house. I have offered to help with bills but my parents tell me to keep my money for gas and stuff. And they said the same thing about me helping keep the fridge stocked.


#7

Great! as long as you are offering and not wearing out your welcome don’t tie yourself to any specific age.


#8

If you are still a student, then there’s no reason or need to move out.


#9

For me it was 3 days after I turned 18. However, not everyone is me and so I understand that each person will have a differing opinion. My brother lived at home until he was 25. My children all know that they may live at home rent-free as long as they are fulltime students. Currently, 2 live on their own (1 is a fulltime student at Vanderbilt Univ.) and 1 will be starting Jr. college this fall and living at home. Of course, all my kids are welcome to live at home without being in school fulltime… it then becomes a matter of rent. :wink:


#10

I moved out when I was when I started college at age 19. I then moved back my junior year (age 22). Then moved out again my senior year (age 23). I continued living on my own until I was 25. My roomates decided to move out and I decided to move back home to save money and buy a house. And wait for the market to drop, which it has. Housing in southern california is sooo expensive. You need at least 100,000k saved up for a down payment. I am now 27 and still living at home. I know it is weird to most people. But when I tell them I am starting to look for a house to buy, they get really jealous. I should have my own place within a year. I’ve been starting to look around for a couple weeks now.

So thats my story. If you feel weird for living at home when your 21, then i should feel really weird for living at home at 27. I say don’t worry about it now. Especially since your in school.


#11

Read this:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasite single

and this thread:

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=207945&highlight=parasite+singles


#12

Our daughter was 17 when we moved from the city where she was going to be going to university to another province. We left her behind and she only came to the new town for a few summer/Christmas vacations.

Son #1 went away to the same university when he was 19. He came back home for summer & Christmas vacations but once he graduated he stayed there.

Son #2 graduated from high school and went to work for a year. He lived with us as an adult (doing his own laundry and taking care of his own expenses except food). The next year he went to the local community college to study welding (1 yr) then Automotive (2 yrs). Again, he looked after things like laundry, keeping his room clean, and helping a bit around the house. He worked part time for his spending money - we covered tuition and books as had been planned for since his birth. He left home when he was 21 after completing both courses. If he’d found a job in our town he would have been welcome to stay with us until he’d saved enough money to buy a home/get an apartment - but in that case he would have been expected to help with utilities & food.

His friend, who at 23 pulls down $80K + (legally) still lives at home with his mom. Nobody thinks this is odd since his she is often travelling and most of the time he’s alone at home.


#13

Why do you care what anyone thinks about your living arrangements, your life goals, and how you set out to accomplish them?

America has an artificial love affair with “independence”. In the rest of the world, family homes are multigenerational. It’s not “weird” to live with your family.

If you spend the rest of your life worrying about what other people think, or what other people would do, you will be miserable indeed.

Do what YOU want to do.


#14

Gee, I’m 52 and live with my mom. oh well. (:shrug: )


#15

This is so much a matter of circumstance. I moved out at 17 when I joined the military, but I’ll be moving back (at 23) when I get out and start going to school. In order to have my own apartment in CT (expensive!) would require me to pretty much have a full time job, a fact which would cause my academics to suffer (as I intend to go to school full-time as soon as I’m out). I don’t think me living at home will be at all weird, but it would be a little irresponsible if I were a grown adult with a job of my own and still expecting my parents to clean my room, cook my food, do my laundry, etc.


#16

Dear Super Sport (love your name–I have two sons about your same age and they’d probably pick something similar :slight_smile: )

I am keeping a full class schedule and a part time job and I am helping around the house. I have offered to help with bills but my parents tell me to keep my money for gas and stuff. And they said the same thing about me helping keep the fridge stocked.


You sound very responsible and respectful. I’m sure you’ll have no problem obeying any rules of the house they might have. Your parents sound very supportive. I bet they will be respectful of your adulthood and not treat you like a child.

Sounds like a WIN/WIN situation to me!

Since when is it weird if family members (whatever age) choose to live together? In years past, multiple generations shared the same roof (learning invaluable lessons from one another). The young learned respect and wisdom of the old. They learned compassion and responsiblity as their grandparents aged and eventually died. The old kept enthusiasm and hope by living with the young.

From a financial point of view, this situation will allow you to save up money from your part time job so you can be more financially secure when you graduate. I’m sure your parents view this as an extension of their love for you. Parents hope to launch kids with the best possible scenario in mind. They are offering this to give you an advantage. Appreciate this but go ahead and take them up on it. I’m sure you will do the same when you have kids of your own! :slight_smile:

God bless,
Theresa


#17

Leave when 1.) It becomes uncomfortable to you or 2.) It no longer seems the right place for you to be. I was very young when I moved out, but what’s right for me doesn’t mean it’s right for you. It might not be until you’re25. It might be about 30. I would think you might have a problem dating a young woman who wants to marry after 30 if you haven’t had the experience of living on your own, paying your own bills, and handling your own life away from Mom and Dad (and it is different). I really think you have enough time to think about that, though. I hardly think you’ll stagnate over a two-year period.


#18

PS–

I lived at home while going to college and then while I worked a year (engaged) until I was married at 23.

My one sister was nearly 30 before she moved out to marry (and now is happily the mother of 6 children)

Other siblings moved out earlier because their jobs took them elsewhere, but for the siblings that took jobs in town, they stayed in our parent’s home until they married…

Just wanted to give an example…:slight_smile:

And my children would be welcome to do the same. I think it’s kinda mean when parents joke, “Hey, when you’re 18, you’re outta here! haha.” I don’t get it, and I think it’s just an attempt to be funny. If it’s not, it’s sad.

God bless,
theresa


#19

If it ain’t broke, why fix it? :shrug: :stuck_out_tongue:

Honestly… unless either you or your parents are unhappy in this situation there’s no major “reason” why you should have to move out. Enjoy this blessing… sounds like you’ve got a great family relationship and have your priorities in order… that’s AWESOME! :thumbsup:

I went away to college and got married during college, so I never had the opportunity to stay home. But my husband moved back in with his parents after college… mostly to help care for his ailing/dying father at the time. It was a huge blessing for them all… he got to spend those precious last couple years with his dad and helped his mom through a very difficult time.

Go with what works… if you’re happy and your parents are happy, then don’t change a thing! :slight_smile:


#20

I think the extreme cost of housing and transportation, is going to lead to more families living together for longer periods of time. I think this “out the door at 18 and never go back” trend that we’ve had in America for the past 70 yrs or so is slowly coming to a halt. Westward expansion is over. There aren’t anymore pioneers. There’s no more free land for homesteaders either. I’m not a sociologist, but I see a trend, and we need to really ask ourselves, what is the benefit of kicking our teenagers out at 18?


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