How old is too old?


#1

I am having a debate with a friend. Is there an age where one really should stop trying (actively or passively) to have more children? If the mother is in good health and there are no extenuating circumstances such as poverty or a heath crisis of existing family members, how old is too old?

Anyone out there who has had children in their late 40s?

N.B. There is no question of Contraception being used here. :slight_smile:


#2

Probably not a one size fits all answer… It would be between that person and God i suppose… I will be the rest of the day however trying to figure out how you passively try not to have children… :confused:


#3

nature already has a benchmark, it is called menopause


#4

I had a friend when I was younger who was the youngest of eight children. Her parents were in their late 40s when she was born- a “suprise” baby, but a wanted one all the same. I also know a woman who is in her mid-40s with a 4-year-old son. Before she knew she was pregnant with him she mistook pregnancy symptoms for early signs of menopause.

Older parents can and do have healthy children. However, it’s up to each couple. Sometimes there are parental health issues to consider, along with other issues.


#5

[quote=asquared]nature already has a benchmark, it is called menopause
[/quote]

The current average age for menopause is about 53. Is there any reason why one shouldn’t just let nature take its course up until then (absent any other health issues)?


#6

[quote=space ghost] I will be the rest of the day however trying to figure out how you passively try not to have children… :confused:
[/quote]

Sorry, I rewrote the question and it turned out oblique. What I meant to say was: active = purposely using fertile times in the hopes of conceiving and inactive = not specifically trying to conceive but happy if it happens.


#7

[quote=kmktexas]I am having a debate with a friend. Is there an age where one really should stop trying (actively or passively) to have more children? If the mother is in good health and there are no extenuating circumstances such as poverty or a heath crisis of existing family members, how old is too old?

I’d leave it to God friend. HE knows inside and out your situation, if it’s meant to be it will be, if not, it’s His Will.

God Bless~~
[/quote]


#8

kmktexas,

My wife is 45. We have a 6month old at home (our 5th). Before she arived, when people would ask (regarding our huge:rolleyes: family of 4 kids) and ask if we were having more I would say “Not today:D " and then say seriously: " I am afraid not, but I would really like another. I am afraid we are too old to conceive”. My daughter is wonderfull and we are so happy that we stayed open to life. I know we will never regret.

God Bless You
:wink:


#9

Ask Abraham and Sara:D


#10

[quote=kmktexas]The current average age for menopause is about 53. Is there any reason why one shouldn’t just let nature take its course up until then (absent any other health issues)?
[/quote]

Eggs get old. The incidence of Down Syndrome past the age of 40 gets higher and higher each year. I think by age 43 it is about 5% – and goes up from there. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t expect to have a perfectly healthy child in your mid-to-late forties (and we all know people who have done just that) but you’re taking an ever greater risk, and it shoud be factored into your thinking.

Those who totally trust God to give them the grace to handle a situation like that might be less cautious than those who might already have a serious reason to want to avoid such a thing. There is no one right answer for this.


#11

I am 46 and just found out we are pregnant again. We were trying but thought I was in menopause…not.


#12

[quote=TheresaP]I am 46 and just found out we are pregnant again. We were trying but thought I was in menopause…not.
[/quote]

Congratulations! Best of wishes to you.


#13

In response to the original question of “How old is too old”–where do foster parenting & adoption fit into the discussion?

There are many couples & singles who are able to be foster parents well into their senior years. Some of these amazing people end up adopting the children in their care. They are now “Mommy” and “Daddy” to a child; they did not give birth to the child, but are now responsible for raising him or her to adulthood.

One needs to be “licensed” to be a foster parent & one needs “approval” as an adoptive parent…but a man can biologically father a child well into his senior years & a woman can bear a child later & later, it seems, and we do not require them to seek “permission.”

Just adding some more perspective to the mix!


#14

Considering I won’t retire until I’m 75 then being pregnant in my 40’s isn’t that daughting. But I have family members who had children in thier 40’s and having a hard time with funding college because they feel they are forced to work when they physically and mentally can’t.


#15

[quote=All4lifetoo]Congratulations! Best of wishes to you.
[/quote]

Thanks.


#16

Do you want to be alive and healthy enough to raise your children to maturity? How about the issue of how many children you and your husband want? That’s certainly a legitimate consideration.

And of course, you have to consider the fact that the incidence of birth defects increases with the age of the mother. Since abortion isn’t an option, do you have the resources to support for their lifetime a child who might (it’s probably not all that likely but it does happen and, if you’re a responsible person, you have to be prepared for this possibility) come into the world with problems?


#17

Well I have to tell you I was 48 years old when I remarried and we were very open to life…I wanted to have a child for him so very much…it just didn’t happen.


#18

I am 43 and would like another child, but I don’t want to be the one who goes through the pregnancy and childbirth at my age. I would be 63 when my youngest is in college. My mother died at 64, and my grandmother at 67. I am hoping to beat the odds, but having had my first at 34 and second at 36, I already see how much older I am than most parents. I thank God that mine are so healthy, and I don’t want to play Russian roulette.

I am not Catholic, so being open to life isn’t an issue for me. I don’t take the pill because of my advanced age, but I wouldn’t play with fire and try to get pregnant. If somebody dropped a baby off at my doorstep, I would gladly take it. I love babies, and wouldn’t mind another child. I just don’t want to give birth at this point in my life.


#19

45 is time to stop, you’d be 65 when the child is 20!


#20

Is this really what you mean?


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