I think it’s just trashy to buy a car without getting a green light from husband or wife, assuming one isn’t a multimillionaire, of course. My husband is (thank goodness!) not a spender, and actually runs even small purchases past me before he does it (a recent one was a $23 Christmas gift). His particular faults are more in the direction of stinginess, which is not always fun to deal with (he wants to wear his clothing to rags), but thanks be to God, he has never unilaterally caused any financial distress to our family through overspending. (Pre-Dave Ramsey at our house, I occasionally OKed purchases that we couldn’t afford, but that was both our fault.)
But other people have husbands who are spenders–and there’s no income good enough that it can’t be overspent.
I don’t think regular posting CAF married ladies are, as a rule, prone to making large decisions without their husband’s approval. I’m sure that must happen somewhere, but it isn’t something that gets a lot of approval here.
Part of the way to make marriage less burdensome to men is to discourage them from the idea that they always need to be the Great and Powerful Oz, all-knowing, all-seeing, making all the important decisions for their families. Whew, isn’t it a relief not to have to carry that burden around?
I agree that both spouses should say “yes” to each other a lot and be positive as much as possible (at my house we believe in the 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions), but my experience (and the experience of many other women) does not support the idea that “he will move mountains for you and your children” if we just plump up his male ego enough. That was certainly not Captain Janeway’s experience–it just made her husband lazy and selfish. And frankly, I don’t think it’s very respectful to treat one’s husband like a big baby.