How should a Christian relate to people with out being rude or "too polite"?


**** I am a high school student and I like to think of myself as a Kind person instead of the general “nice guy” stereotype.
The thing is that I’m confused about the boundaries of human relationship. I try to communicate with people politely and without hurting their feelings but sometimes it seems like its not working.

Does it ever happen to you? Sometimes when you are too polite relationships become akward and you are too afraid to administer meaningful criticism and make some jokes.

I know Jesus wasn’t a pacifist who wanted to please everyone but rather he did all things with LOVE. I don’t want to be a passive Christian who goes around living in fear but through the Grace of God all shyness and timidity are extinguished. - Timothy 2

Please your thoughts on this will be valued and some Catholic advice won’t hurt, lol


Kindness to others must stem from the root - Love itself.

When we love others because Our Heavenly Father created them, even when they offend us, then the kindness happens naturally.

Study the lives of the saints. In particular, there is one I learned about today from Fr. Angelus who talked about St. Conrad during his homily today on EWTN. Watch for the April 21, 2007 audio to appear on this page (use refresh) and listen to it. Amazing life this man led, and his kindness, even in the face of many trials, was definitely rooted in that love.

Hope this helps. Welcome to Catholic Answers!!!


Truth and Grace…

Grace without Truth and Truth without Grace is useless… however, when they are both combined, it is very easy to live a life in Christ.

If possible, read the book called Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend which speaks about the exact same thing that you are talking about…


Yes, it does happen to me. I try to be polite and kind even if that sometimes means forcing myself to say things I don’t really feel like saying. But making effort helps bring about a conversion of heart. St Thomas Aquinas said, “Lord, in my zeal for the love of truth, let me not forget the truth about love.”


Always be prayerful in times like these. Sometimes, it will be important for you to say something, sometimes it is best if you excuse yourself from the situation and other times, you must be silent. I leave that up to God and He always provides the answer for me in these situations. It gets no better when you are grown and in a working environment. The same nonsense that goes on in high school and college goes on into adulthood.

God bless you for being so good hearted.:wink:


You can be “polite” and still offer appropriate correction if for example someone is engaging in harmful behavior like doing drugs. You don’t have to smile and act nice just because they will perceive your comment as criticism. Just ask yourself why you are going to offer a comment before you do it. If it is from love and concern for someone and you do it in an appropriate way, then it is fine. They may thank you for it later or they might be upset.

I’m not a big “joke” person, but I know that many people tell me that I’m funny. I like to relate funny incidents that have happened to me or someone else. I don’t tell “mean” jokes or stories for a laugh however. I don’t think it is necessary to be mean to get a laugh. I like to tell the stories to lift another person’s spirits rather than feeding my own ego at someone else’s expense. I think that being funny and being a good Christian can be compatible if we are basically kind at heart also.


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