Many of you know of the difficulties between my wife and I. She considers us separated, but we still live in the same house. I really want to reconcile, but because of our problems (I suspect a 3rd party, again) she thinks I am not capable of change. I am working on my issues, but I am not solely to blame for this mess. My friend says that the way I should act towards her is to tell her I love her, help her and share my feelings/frustrations with her. My gut tells me she is getting off work early (bartender) and going out and has gone out on nights where she doesn't work. I have taken care of the kids (all day) while she sleeps and many other things that she has asked for help. I'm wondering if this is the right approach or should I do something else. I am not going to try to prove she is having an affair because after I discovered the first one, she continued to see him after she said she wanted to work it out. The only thing that can happen is that I worry myself about something I can't control. Our troubles come from trust, money, affairs, work and career issues. The one thing I am going to tell her is she should not go out on her day off because she sleeps the morning away and the kids have the run of the place (they are small). Should I continue to tell and show her I love her by doing things or should I stop doing things for her and make her 'pay to play'? Or any other thing I should be doing?
I look forward to responses