How Should I Handle This? Opinions Plz


#1

Ok, I’m going to try to make this post as short as possible.
Background-
I was Baptized Catholic as a baby, but not raised Catholic.
My husband is not Catholic, but was Baptized at 13 in a baptist church.
When we met, both of us were practicing witches.
I’m not going to get into my big long story of how I came to the Church, but it involved some supernatural type events. Needless to say, I’m completely and utterly committed to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and Mary. My whole life has turned upside down basically, which is a good thing :slight_smile:
My husband and I had our marriage Convalidated in the Church, and he even started praying and left witchcraft after I came into the Church.
Here’s the problem.
For over a year my husband has been out of witchcraft/paganism etc and has been slowly warming to the idea of my being Catholic. He’s prayed the Rosary with me, went to Mass with me etc.
Today, when I got home from the gym and walked in the house I noticed he bought and had smack in the middle of the kitchen table a pagan god statue/incense burner… and was burning the incense we used to use during our witchy rituals. It’s all over the house now and I can smell it even sitting here as I type this.
I told him that I’m offended that he did this when he knows that it would bother me and he came back with “I didn’t say anything about all your Catholic stuff around the house” and how he wants to start meditating again etc.
I’m seriously ready to leave. I’m not sure what I should do, how I should handle this etc.
Opinions please…


#2

I have no advice to offer, Rachel, but I will pray for you and your husband.


#3

you’re disappointed and angry and feel disrespected. but the faith honeymoon is over. the battle for your souls is on. it’s time to get your game on, but this is not a game. you already know that.

my take:

you have the graces of the sacrraments. he doesn’t. your husband has less
***rock 'em sock 'em graces ***to fight against the darkness. and the devil wants you both out of the Church. and if he can’t get that, he wants you in turmoil with each other. at least then when you’re dis-unified, he’s got a better chance to trick your husband out of the Church.

my suggestions:

*get a confessor/ or ordained spiritual director. talk about this. a lot.

*go to Communion. a lot. receive Our Eucharistic Lord for your husband’s conversion. go to confession a lot too. pray every day for his conversion.

*don’t fight. that’s what the devil wants and if your husband is being enticed to be ***annoyed ***with the Church, and annoyed by your Faith, then arguing is clearly what the devil wants, too. your husband’s response “i put up with you…” seems to reflect a certain, (perhaps new or growing) annoyance. say, “i’m sorry my Catholic Faith has annoyed you. i cant really keep it to myself, but i will turn off the gregorian chant when you’re home. i will go to Mass early on Sundays so not to cut into our time together. etc” then live your days in a way that shows him that your faith is powerful and makes you a peaceful wife.

*pray prayers of protection like the prayer to saint Michael. don’t pray prayers of deliverance unless your director gives you permission.

*keep doing all of this.


#4

Can you talk to your husband to find out what prompted this? It sounds like he was on the road away from it, so maybe there was a triggering event that made him do this? I don't think it could hurt to know why he did it (if he even knows), and it might give you a way to turn him back towards the path he was on.

Also, I would suggest talking to your priest.

Also, just saw monicatholic's response as typing this... she has great advice.

:hug1:


#5

[quote="monicatholic, post:3, topic:211326"]
you're disappointed and angry and feel disrespected. but the faith honeymoon is over. the battle for your souls is on. it's time to get your game on, but this is not a game. you already know that.

my take:

you have the graces of the sacrraments. he doesn't. your husband has less
**rock 'em sock 'em graces **to fight against the darkness. and the devil wants you both out of the Church. and if he can't get that, he wants you in turmoil with each other. at least then when you're dis-unified, he's got a better chance to trick your husband out of the Church.

[/quote]

He hasn't went to Mass with me in a few months now, but we've talked about God and he's prayed and stuff. Just everytime I ask him if he wants to go to Mass he says no.
This stuff today was completely unexpected.

[quote="monicatholic, post:3, topic:211326"]

my suggestions:

*get a confessor/ or ordained spiritual director. talk about this. a lot.

[/quote]

I've been praying for one for months now. My priest that I have is kind of on the liberal side. He's very nice, I like him a lot, but I don't know that he would give me the advice I should have.. does that make sense?
When I was in RCIA I asked him about some of the witchy stuff I had and he didn't seem to see the harm in it. I just think he didn't have the training for stuff like that, ya know.

[quote="monicatholic, post:3, topic:211326"]
*go to Communion. a lot. receive Our Eucharistic Lord for your husband's conversion. go to confession a lot too. pray every day for his conversion.

[/quote]

I try to go to daily Mass if possible. Tomorrow I'm going to the First Friday/First Saturday devotion at my 'other' parish (louisville-catholic.net I go to two different ones)

[quote="monicatholic, post:3, topic:211326"]
*don't fight. that's what the devil wants and if your husband is being enticed to be **annoyed *with the Church, and annoyed by your Faith, then arguing is clearly what the devil wants, too. your husband's response "i put up with you..." seems to reflect a certain, (perhaps new or growing) *annoyance.** say, "i'm sorry my Catholic Faith has annoyed you. i cant really keep it to myself, but i will turn off the gregorian chant when you're home. i will go to Mass early on Sundays so not to cut into our time together. etc" then live your days in a way that shows him that your faith is powerful and makes you a peaceful wife.

[/quote]

I can't just let him bring this stuff in the house, I spent too much time cleaning out all of the pagan/witchy stuff after I got into RCIA. I literally feel like he's bringing in evil and if I just stand by and let him, that I'm not doing what I should be doing.
I know that lately he's had a big interest in this stuff called K2... so maybe that's part of it. - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K2_%28drug%29
I do pray for him (and the rest of my family) daily. I just can't let this slip by though, it's just the same as saying "sure, bring in all the witchy stuff, hey, why not hold a sabbat ritual while you're at it" ya know. He KNOWS this would make me feel this way too, he knew that before he got it too.

[quote="monicatholic, post:3, topic:211326"]
*pray prayers of protection like the prayer to saint Michael. don't pray prayers of deliverance unless your director gives you permission.

[/quote]

I don't know those prayers anyway, I'm still kind of a newbie.


#6

This stuff today was completely unexpected.

but rachel, it shouldnt have been. this is about your souls. did you think the devil was going to give up so easy?

it's just the same as saying "sure, bring in all the witchy stuff, hey, why not hold a sabbat ritual while you're at it" ya know. He KNOWS this would make me feel this way too, he knew that before he got it too.

please re-read all of my responses so far. you don't see in this a battle for souls? your sense of being disrespected is precisely the point. you husband probably couldnt put his fginger on it except for maybe, as he said, a vague sense of retaliation. the devil sure can put his finger on it-- dis-harmony and annoyance and injured pride-- THAT'S what he's talking about rachel. that's his plan.

look, you're safer. a lot safer. and stronger. and protected. you have a multitude of graces to protect and strengthen you. St Athanasius, taught, "by the sign of the cross...all magic is stayed, all sorcery confounded... as the eye of faith looks up from Earth to heaven." you have the sign of the cross, Jesus baptismal sign on your soul AND the visible sign you make on your body.

the devil isnt going to give up so easy. you, with graces to protect, inspire, guide, enlighten and sanctify you shouldnt give up so easy either.

from my perspective, you have three basic choices:

*cut your losses. the devil may win him.

*strive to prove you're right and husband is wrong and the devil may win you both

*strive to prayerfully bring about the miracle of husband's conversion because it's good, and holy and pleasing to GOD for you to live the vocation of marriage (the vocation beieng that you help your spouse obtain heaven), and you may obtain the salvation of both your souls through the power of the Cross.

as for your ignorant pastor: find a priest in louisville.


#7

Show him that you love him anyway. Even if he makes choices that bring you sorrow. He is still your husband.


#8

Explain what happened to your priest and ask him to bless your home.

Have Holy Water on hand an bless yourself and your home often.
I bless my home and office discretely, no one needs to know you are doing this but evil will flee from blessed objects.

I’ll pray for your marriage(remember you have the graces of a Sacmental marriage and that’s alot) and your husband to abandon wicca and embrace the Church.


#9

Look, this isn’t about I’m right, he’s wrong… It’s not like that.
It’s like he brought, into our home, a pagan god statue. This is not only offensive to me… but to God.
I think I’m being misunderstood here. I’m not trying to be in a power struggle with my husband.
ugh… I am almost sorry I asked. It seems everytime I ask something on CAF I get misunderstood somehow.


#10

For those that offered prayers, thank you


#11

Monicatholic suggests the best approach, I think. I will add you to my prayer intentions.

Spiritual director - do you have any FSSP priests near you? fssp.org/en/index.htm I think they might be more open to helping you. Not many priests really take the devil seriously, it seems.

I know this might be a controversial suggestion, but perhaps a priest of the SSPX could help. They’re in a questionable status with the Church, but I think they’d be able to help. Very traditional priests will be likely to recognize the evil one.


#12

Perhaps I’m misunderstanding what Monicatholic is saying, or perhaps she isn’t understanding my concern with her approach.
What I’m understanding her to say is to not sweat the fact that there is a pagan god statue sitting in the middle of my kitchen table right now even though it’s highly offensive to God because we don’t want a fight here… a fight would mean the devil has won.
Honestly, living our faith is going to be offensive, at times, to those who aren’t Catholic. I’m not looking to be politically correct with my husband. The statue is offensive, period, and I’m not afraid to tell him that, and that his actions could lead him somewhere he won’t like after this life. That, my friends, is love. I’m not going to sugar coat the fact that my husband’s actions are leading him to hell because to stay silent on this means that I’m ok with it. I’m not, God’s not, and honestly, what if your husband brought something like this into your house, would you just sit all nicey nice to not start a fight when you know it’s offensive to God?
FYI, I don’t believe that the devil wins just because my husband and I have an argument.


#13

One more thing, there is no argument right now.. just silence between us.


#14

[quote="Rachel, post:12, topic:211326"]
Perhaps I'm misunderstanding what Monicatholic is saying, or perhaps she isn't understanding my concern with her approach.
What I'm understanding her to say is to not sweat the fact that there is a pagan god statue sitting in the middle of my kitchen table right now even though it's highly offensive to God because we don't want a fight here.. a fight would mean the devil has won.
Honestly, living our faith is going to be offensive, at times, to those who aren't Catholic. I'm not looking to be politically correct with my husband. The statue is offensive, period, and I'm not afraid to tell him that, and that his actions could lead him somewhere he won't like after this life. That, my friends, is love. I'm not going to sugar coat the fact that my husband's actions are leading him to hell because to stay silent on this means that I'm ok with it. I'm not, God's not, and honestly, what if your husband brought something like this into your house, would you just sit all nicey nice to not start a fight when you know it's offensive to God?
FYI, I don't believe that the devil wins just because my husband and I have an argument.

[/quote]

Well, I think her approach is to keep your focus on the spiritual level. This is a spiritual battle. I'm not saying that the devil wins if you two have an argument. Does it have to turn into a fight? Can it not be discussed calmly?

Sure - tell him you're concerned that his actions will bring him to the doorways of hell, but I think your words will fall on deaf ears. I guess I find it hard to say whether I would demand that nothing like that would be in my house*. But, it certainly shouldn't be somewhere obvious. Have you discussed with him what his spiritual thoughts are, given his exposure to the Church?

  • - I'm not married yet, but am engaged to a practicing Catholic.

#15

[quote="Rachel, post:12, topic:211326"]
Perhaps I'm misunderstanding what Monicatholic is saying, or perhaps she isn't understanding my concern with her approach.
What I'm understanding her to say is to not sweat the fact that there is a pagan god statue sitting in the middle of my kitchen table right now even though it's highly offensive to God because we don't want a fight here.. a fight would mean the devil has won.
Honestly, living our faith is going to be offensive, at times, to those who aren't Catholic. I'm not looking to be politically correct with my husband. The statue is offensive, period, and I'm not afraid to tell him that, and that his actions could lead him somewhere he won't like after this life. That, my friends, is love. I'm not going to sugar coat the fact that my husband's actions are leading him to hell because to stay silent on this means that I'm ok with it. I'm not, God's not, and honestly, what if your husband brought something like this into your house, would you just sit all nicey nice to not start a fight when you know it's offensive to God?
FYI, I don't believe that the devil wins just because my husband and I have an argument.

[/quote]

I'm sorry, but the more you talk the more I wish there were more gals out there like you. :D

You have it dead on in my opinion. Explain to him exactly how you feel. Explain what the idol symbolizes about your past that you would like to leave behind you forever. Don't simply fire and brimstone him to death (sometimes needed) but that God offers you peace and happiness forever, something that witchcraft will never bring.
Then there's the issue of the drugs. Burning the "incense" has other negative health issues that may be worth bringing up. I've never used any form of illegal drug so I don't know exactly how to approach that.
If he wishes to meditate there are many ways you can do so on the scriptures, together. Do a search for catholic meditations.
Fact is you turned away from this stuff, you know the way to truth and life, look for the words, he's where you were, just a couple steps behind, and he does need your help and compassion as well. You need to talk, a lot.


#16

I think what we are trying to say is that this statue is just a statue. In and of itself it cannot offend God. It is what it represents to people that is offensive to God. Yes, it is offensive to you and that is no small thing. But please do not give this statue any more power over you. It has too much already.


#17

Will keep you and your husband in my prayers.


#18

[quote="SMHW, post:16, topic:211326"]
I think what we are trying to say is that this statue is just a statue. In and of itself it cannot offend God. It is what it represents to people that is offensive to God. Yes, it is offensive to you and that is no small thing. But please do not give this statue any more power over you. It has too much already.

[/quote]

She is within reason to be offended. It's called righteous anger.


#19

[quote="Rachel, post:12, topic:211326"]
Perhaps I'm misunderstanding what Monicatholic is saying, or perhaps she isn't understanding my concern with her approach.
What I'm understanding her to say is to not sweat the fact that there is a pagan god statue sitting in the middle of my kitchen table right now even though it's highly offensive to God because we don't want a fight here.. a fight would mean the devil has won.
Honestly, living our faith is going to be offensive, at times, to those who aren't Catholic. I'm not looking to be politically correct with my husband. The statue is offensive, period, and I'm not afraid to tell him that, and that his actions could lead him somewhere he won't like after this life. That, my friends, is love. I'm not going to sugar coat the fact that my husband's actions are leading him to hell because to stay silent on this means that I'm ok with it. I'm not, God's not, and honestly, what if your husband brought something like this into your house, would you just sit all nicey nice to not start a fight when you know it's offensive to God?
FYI, I don't believe that the devil wins just because my husband and I have an argument.

[/quote]

Do you believe that pagan statue has some sort of supernatural power? Marriage isn't about one person being right and the other wrong and the party that's wrong better just straighten up or you bail -its about getting each other to Heaven. I don't think Monica is misunderstanding you, I think you are misunderstanding her. You are giving a piece of plaster (or metal or whatever its made from) power. It has no more power than a statue of a mermaid or a unicorn -there is no such thing as a pagan god in reality, only myth.

You don't think God knows your husband's heart? Your husband is being tempted -he must be feeling confused. You are his wife, talk to him lovingly. Find out what is drawing him back to pagan practices he once gave up. Be gentle. What is your goal? What are you striving for? Being indignant and offended will not draw your husband to God. (Put holy water on the statue if it frightens you.) Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you.

You asked how to handle this? You wanted "throw it out", "demand your husband stop this" or even worse "leave him" and then when you don't get what you think the responses should be you think we are misunderstanding you. Your husband brought a statue of a mythical god into your house and burned incense. The problem isn't the statue - its why your husband has suddenly turned back to practices he gave up? You are in a sacramental marriage. Leaving your husband when he truly needs you more than ever is what is far more offensive to God than some statue.

This is the St. Michael prayer
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.


#20

Please re-read my responses, I stated previously that it’s not about I’m right, he’s not. I also never said I was going to “bail”.
You obviously have never dealt with witchcraft. Think of this thing as kind of an open door invite to the devil. It’s not just a piece of plaster. This is the problem I’m having with some Catholics when I entered RCIA. I guess I figured you guys would realize that the devil is real, and that we must do all we can to avoid any sin, including giving an open door to the devil. Would you tell me that if my husband brought in a channeling board (ouija board) that “hey it’s just a piece of wood/cardboard and has no power whatsoever” I guess if that’s the case, I should let him just fill the house with occult objects.
2112- The first commandment condemns polytheism. It requires man neither to believe in, nor to venerate, other divinities than the one true God. Scripture constantly recalls this rejection of "idols, [of] silver and gold, the work of men’s hands. They have mouths, but do not speak; eyes, but do not see." These empty idols make their worshippers empty: "Those who make them are like them; so are all who trust in them."42 God, however, is the "living God"43 who gives life and intervenes in history.
2117- All practices of magic or sorcery, by which one attempts to tame occult powers, so as to place them at one’s service and have a supernatural power over others - even if this were for the sake of restoring their health - are gravely contrary to the virtue of religion. These practices are even more to be condemned when accompanied by the intention of harming someone, or when they have recourse to the intervention of demons. Wearing charms is also reprehensible. Spiritism often implies divination or magical practices; the Church for her part warns the faithful against it. Recourse to so-called traditional cures does not justify either the invocation of evil powers or the exploitation of another’s credulity.

I started out being gentle and asking him what was up with this thing, he knew exactly what he was doing bringing it into our house though. I’m not yelling at him now as it is, I’m just not really saying much of anything. You know how you’re mom always said “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” yea.
If you read my earlier post you’ll see that he’s recently gotten into this K2 stuff… some ‘legal drug’. It probably doesn’t help that his best friend is a satanist, involved in the church of satan (cos) either.

cont-


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