How should I proceed?



My wife to be and I are Catholics and we often seek the sacraments and pray every day. However, in the past, we both had sex (in her case only once) with other people we were dating; acts that we regret. In our case, we have decided to wait until marriage because that is what we as Catholics believe; it is the only way two people can truly and freely give each other.

Now, she was recently diagnosed with HPV. My concern is for her health and I want to be with her on everything and everywhere. My mind has been buggling me with the thought that what if she may have been exposed to HIV at the same time she was exposed to HPV.

We have talked about getting tested, and she said that if I want to she’ll get tested; we didn’t talk about it any further. I donated blood a few months back and as a result of that I was tested; the results were negative. Is it responsible and right for a Catholic to ask to and get tested?

I pray to God and the Virgin Mary for fortitude and humility in accepting God’s will.

God Bless,


HIV is a virus and is therefore morally neutral, regardless of the means it is contracted. It is also an epidemic, and it is a very grave responsibility for those who may have been exposed to it to find out if they were infected. It is not only proper, but morally necessary to be tested in order to prevent the spread of the disease.


You both need to be tested, not just for HIV, but for everything else as well. It would be a very bad idea to get married/have sex before doing so.


in today’s climate, anyone who has ever had sexual contact with another person should get tested for HIV, HPV and a host of other things before marriage. that unfortunately is just the way it is, probably the expense of the testing is the only reason it is not mandatory, like the old bloodtest for syphilis used to be. You are to be congratulated for assuming secondary virginity and pre-marital continence, it will go a long way to assuring a long, happy healthy marriage.


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