How should I pursue this girl?


#1

I met this wonderful girl on CatholicMatch who has the same interests as me and seems to be attracted to me. She asked when I was signing in choir during the Triduum (and I welcomed her to come) and said she'd try to come if she could but we weren't able to meet or anything...nonetheless I took her statement as a sign of her interest.

I was curious how I should ask her out on a date. We migrated our conversation to Facebook and have been talking there for a few weeks (maybe a month) although she doesn't go on Facebook as often as I do (me: several times a day, her: apparently every day or every other day). I was thinking a coffee date since that's non-confrontational and not too pushy.

Thoughts?


#2

Fortune favors the bold. Ask for her number and when she asks why, tell her because you want to ask her out on a date.


#3

Get her phone number, call her, and ask her out. That's how.

A coffee date is fine, presuming she likes coffee. A lunch date would be nice too at a casual restaurant.


#4

Yes, ask her out already! She's probably sitting there wondering why this guy hasn't asked her out already. Good luck!


#5

Ask for her number and have a phone coversation. If things go well and you feel comfortable talking to her on the phone, ask her out on a date! Good luck and keep us posted please! :thumbsup:


#6

Is this a person that you've only chatted with online?

If so, then I suggest you follow the advice on this page:
safety.amw.com/internet/precautions-for-staying-safe-when-meeting-people-online/
[LIST]
*]Start with a phone call before meeting someone in person. If you do exchange personal phone numbers, make sure to use caller ID.
*]When you do meet, do it with a friend and in a very public place, such as a mall or restaurant.
*]Don’t be embarrassed to insist on following the rules. If the person cares about you, they will want to respect you for being careful. Your safety is the most important thing.
[/LIST]
Now, you're probably thinking that this doesn't apply here because you really know this person. The fact is, if you haven't met in person before, not only do you not know them, you have no idea who you are talking to.

Most likely she is exactly who she says she is and everything will be great! This is my prayer for both of you. But be safe and do it right. If she is really who she says she is she should respect you for taking the safe path with her.


#7

I agree. One of the reason i feel in love with my Fiance is because he is direct. I knew his intentions. I didn’t have to sit and wonder what he was doing. If you give women enough time to over think then we will think ourselves right out of the relationship


#8

Be yourself. Be open. Don't play games. Don't analyse.


#9

[quote="beckers, post:7, topic:193694"]
If you give women enough time to over think then we will think ourselves right out of the relationship

[/quote]

What she said.


#10

Update: I sent her a message and I'm now waiting for a response. Fingers crossed!


#11

[quote="LotusCarsLtd, post:10, topic:193694"]
Update: I sent her a message and I'm now waiting for a response. Fingers crossed!

[/quote]

A message asking her out or just for her phone number? :cool:


#12

For a change, I’ll take a different perspective. I prefer to look at relationships more in terms of symmetry and mutuality, rather than the one party somehow pulling a trick and “getting” the other. Women just like men have the responsibility to make the right choice and find the right ways for testing. If they opt for a system like you have to do X (and in the Y way and in Z timeline etc.) or you’re out, then well, it was their choice and the poor sod isn’t to blame for the results.

I wholeheartedly agree with not giving women an opportunity to overanalyse, anyway.


#13

[quote="chevalier, post:12, topic:193694"]

I wholeheartedly agree with not giving women an opportunity to overanalyse, anyway.

[/quote]

With some of us and on certain days, that window of "opportunity" is about as long as it takes to curl our eyelashes. ;)


#14

[quote="LotusCarsLtd, post:10, topic:193694"]
Update: I sent her a message and I'm now waiting for a response. Fingers crossed!

[/quote]

Good luck.

At least you didn't try, "Let's rearrange the alphabet so you and I are together".
or "I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"
:cool:


#15

[quote="SarahR, post:13, topic:193694"]
With some of us and on certain days, that window of "opportunity" is about as long as it takes to curl our eyelashes. ;)

[/quote]

That's fine. We guys have our days too. ;)

It's a simple game of choice and consequence, really. Fancy weeding out any guy that doesn't go all-out within the first 30 secs? Great if you fancy the consequences as well (from being single for a longer while to being single forever, not to mention ending up with not exactly the type of man you fancy, with little right to complain).

Personally, I've noticed there are women who don't like it if you don't throw it all out within the first minutes and there are women who don't like it if you do. Finally, I've noticed I don't really care that much. ;) I'm fully prepared to spill my guts trying to impress a woman, but I'm not gonna waste a single breath for a timing schedule.

[quote="Nec5, post:14, topic:193694"]
Good luck.

At least you didn't try, "Let's rearrange the alphabet so you and I are together".
or "I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"
:cool:

[/quote]

How about, "May I have your phone number, please?"


#16

[quote="Nec5, post:14, topic:193694"]
Good luck.

At least you didn't try, "Let's rearrange the alphabet so you and I are together".
or "I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"
:cool:

[/quote]

Those are the cheesiest lines EVER!! :rotfl:

Guys have actually used them on me and I'm always like ':ehh:'


#17

[quote="Kimothy80, post:16, topic:193694"]
Those are the cheesiest lines EVER!! :rotfl:

Guys have actually used them on me and I'm always like ':ehh:'

[/quote]

I shouldn't be using those then? Darn....no wonder I'm single!


#18

[quote="Kimothy80, post:16, topic:193694"]
Those are the cheesiest lines EVER!! :rotfl:

Guys have actually used them on me and I'm always like ':ehh:'

[/quote]

This is so tempting...there are such great ones out there...but wouldn't want to derail the thread. ;)


#19

I should try that on a girl, just to see her reaction.

The truth of the matter is that whatever line the guy uses, so long as the girl digs him, it doesn’t matter.


#20

[quote="BadTurkey, post:19, topic:193694"]
I should try that on a girl, just to see her reaction.

The truth of the matter is that whatever line the guy uses, so long as the girl digs him, it doesn't matter.

[/quote]

That is true, unless the line is, "I have four kids with four different women" or "the cops are after me, we have to leave". :dts:


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