How should I respond to this? (homosexuality)

So before I start know that I do not 100% know what my sexuality is…I know I like boys, I think I like girls as well(I am male) .
Anyway, I’m trying to perfect my Spanish so I befriended a guy online who lives in Argentina. The first day we ever skyped, he asked if we listened to Lady Gaga in the US, I said a lot of people did but I wasn’t a fan because I’m Catholic and she is pushing homosexual marriage, in which I do not believe. I said I have nothing against gays but the sin is in the action. He said he was Catholic too. Then the subject changed to something I don’t remember and that was that.
Well he asked questions on Yahoo! Answers yesterday(I’m his contact, that’s how we met) saying things like “If I’m gay will I go to Hell?” “I might be in love with a man, I’m a man” etc. He deleted them before I got to see the content, but I did at least see those titles. So I’m currently talking about it on skype through messages with him, and I told him about my situation and all…
He said that until he’d met me he never thought twice about being gay until he met me, now he’s worried he’s going to hell :frowning:
How should I respond to this?? I don’t want him to hate himself for how God made him…I’ve been there, I’m still like that sometimes, there’s no reason for him to be like that…What I’m I supposed to do/say??

Tell him that God loves him and has a plan for him and he has to find out what that plan is. Advise him to go to the priest for spiritual direction. If he decideds to live a chaste life, he can be absolved for his past sins. (Assuming he has acted impurely in the first place.)

Christ preaches about redemption and teaches the truth, as far as i can tell being a homosexual is only a sin, not a one way ticket to hell, just as being Christian or Catholic is not a one way ticket to heaven.

one has to work to get into either.

I would merely look at what you are going through on skype as something to start backing away from slowly; plenty of ways to learn spanish other than through someone on skype.

Start communicating with your parents about what you are experiencing and seek as much guidance as you can from people with a better understanding of these types of struggles.

Be aware of your emotions , and realize you are still young and physically and mentally still growing.

don’t let others manipulate you either into a relationship , if you are vulnerable for what ever reason, anyone who comes along " romancing you " might see that you are vulnerable and in turn end up using you.

Slow everything down, talk to family you love and trust .

Most importantly don’t close your heart to God.

I would say, “Not all attractions are meant to be physically consummated.” I would suggest that maybe he really desires healthy relationships with men and that it is o.k. but the devil is twisting that desire to something harmful. The devil always makes something harmful seem attractive in an attempt to destroy a person.

But I don’t know the guy personally and if I did, I might say something else.

I would strongly suggest that you don’t go on skype trying to befriend guys you don’t know.:thumbsup:

Being a homosexual is not a sin.

And he isn’t trying to “romance” me,he wanted to practice English, I wanted to practice Spanish.
Now he’s confused being Catholic and gay and wants to know what to do, I really don’t see any reason to stop talking to him considering I know how much talking about this to someone is, and when people can be really stupid and spout ignorance if you were to tell people who lived near you or even friends…
So I’m not just going to leave him alone

It sounds to this reader as if you are young, and already quite sensible, mature and Christian. Somebody far away needs a friend, and you are willing to be there for them. I don’t know what you should say, but good for you for caring and trying.

If you are in your teens or twenties, I would be interested to learn more about how people your age regard this issue.

Go to the Catechism!

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

Homosexuality is not a sin, only the acts are…please, try to comfort him.

We all have a cross to bare some are bigger than others.

God calls us all

Have him go to confession and any sins will be obsolved

Verified medical cases the exception, those with this affliction are caught in a deception. The devil wants the victims to believe they ARE this way. He does this by using physical things that are under control which includes for this purpose the human body and it’s senses. He implants in the victim a delectability for this behavior along with a breach in his personal wall of caution. He cannot have this happen unless he can convince the victim to experiment, which would gain him a weakening of his will by God automatically reducing his graces that would otherwise give him the needed strength to stay away from it. This incremental weakening and further experimenting causes a downward spiral, and scripture warns us this, called compounding, is what will happen.

The secular world does not assist the person. They bend to his desires now giving him what he wants, including the identity label “gay”. No one IS the sin. No one IS the theft. No one IS the murderer. No one IS a homosexual. One can only become these by label when one finds himself after this earthly test in the abode of these labels. While here,contrary to what the devil wants you to believe, you can change. Now he finds the truth, that he IS created in God’s image and is due that dignity. He CAN be labeled a child of the Father, and after a contrite confession and received absolution, a Son of God.

Where did we learn what God thinks of this behavior? In Leviticus and in the New Testament, and in the natural order. This is good news because we know that what God doesn’t like he would not make in us permanent. The devil hates it when people discover this good news, since they can now deduce in pure logic that the behavior is a ruse all along.

It is possible to rid oneself of the power of this behavior. The Holy Rosary every day recited sincerely and with pious determination and dedication will eventually see results. The Holy Mother will not be tricked. Some have experienced a dry period where she observes the victim’s resolve. Eventually, the power wains, but what remains is the devils testing the chinks in the person’s resolve. (

There are Church sponsored self help groups in most dioceses where successes are reported. If not available, personal spiritual advisors are a real blessing. One can call the diocese to find one nearby.

So, you are saying that the devil reaches out into the physical world to change the workings of a person’s brain and body, giving a homosexual person the appearance of attraction to those of the same gender.
Interesting theory, to say the least. Could you explain to me why the devil only does this to 6% of the male population, and 10% of the female population? Does he not have time for everyone else? And why does he do this to more women than men? And if time is the problem, why not cause more damage by making those same people think they are pedophiles or rapists instead?

Ha, ha! I bow to your rhetorical skill, and wonderful clear minded logic.

However, the flaw in your reasoning is the same flaw in all of my reasoning. We assume that all this endless talk of sex, sex, sex has anything to do with reason. The truth is more likely to be that all this endless talk of sex, sex, sex has something to do with sex.

That said, give it your best shot, you have a knack for what you’re trying to do.

Having temptations, as we all do, is not a sin. But acting on certain temptations is.

I don’t agree that God ‘made him’ that way. I think that’s a fad notion to justify anything people want to do. What I have heard over and over in actually listening to people with alternative sexual desires, is stories of abuse.

Regardless, he should not hate himself. Compare it to any other struggle anyone else has. Some people struggle with greed or tight-fistedness or pride. We look at ourselves honestly. We look at God’s Word and the teachings of the Magisterium, on whatever our ‘thing’ is, honestly and prayerfully, and decide if we need to make a change. We acknowledge that we are just like the rest of the human race–fallible, tempted, struggling.

And then we do our best to draw closer to God and seek His wisdom and help.

RiverTam, we are all tempted in different ways. Why tempt only x% of the population to do drugs, or only x% of the population to rape or kill? Why not tempt them all to do so? Obviously all temptations do apply to only a certain percentage of the population, so what is the point?

For sure he can be the source of illness that can alter our body. However, sin cannot be imputed to a person who does not act out of free will. A person where we can use the expression “has done something wrong” would have to have been responsible for it through the definition of sin. (

He can cause a deviant appetite and present it for experimentation, but a well honed conscience quickly shuns it, recalls what he has learned what God wishes through scripture and the Church, and finds the act abhorrent. Some whom the Holy Spirit finds favor will not even have it considered. Having accepted the temptation, the devil makes a claim against the person and God sadly relents and withdraws more graces that further weaken him. Now the devil returns and suggests other sins, and so forth.

In many cases the devil has shown a less subtle influence on men by manifesting degrees of possession. In scripture we see cases where whole physical natures are taken hold, with Christ dispatching these creatures back to the netherworld. The disposition of the individuals also plays prominent in understanding individual cases of this phenomena. Some prior to being selected may have been in friendship with God, some not so. Perhaps free will played a part, perhaps not. Some may have the reason for the infestation imputed to them, some may not. Those of the latter can consider it a mortification and offer it to God in sacrifice. We really don’t know the true mechanism, nor is it important. We need to keep in mind our mandate to obey and focus on the task at hand. Everything else is of less importance.

If the devil knows his realm, it is reasonable he knows the weakness in nature of the dual creature that habitats his domain such as his appetites and interests. He would know what must be in place in order to create the potential to be successful. All he would need in some is a person who is disposed, perhaps not even aware of it himself, to a certain act. But what does it matter if we know what not to do to remain in friendship with God in order to gain and retain graces. What does it matter our physical weaknesses if all that can be imputed must be funneled through the mechanism of free will selection.

We know that Christ acknowledged the existence of the “prince of this world”. He would not be so if he had no ability to persuade it’s subjects. He has power over the substantial and empirical, that half of our nature of which forms the whole of the human. The other is our spiritual nature. Contrary to what is commonly believed, we are spirits firstly, and given a physical nature in order to carry out our task of the glorification of God on this planet.

The threat to our salvation can be an empty one if we choose to ally ourselves with beings that matter. The devil will do what he will do, and permissions will and will not be granted by God, but he is our God and you and I are created in his image.

Incidentally, how do you explain the cures.? Some are discovering the Holy Mother never breaks her promises. While we are talking statistics, I can’t explain why I never receive a debate from those who have experienced this temporary affliction, have moved on to a happy life with a sexual opposite, and who are devoted to the Rosary. Must be good things happening to those who are willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.:thumbsup:

I think this was the best advice in all the posts I have read on this topic.

The Devil hates you. He is also intelligent and a spirit. He knows what he knows and if he knows you are born with a proclivity to a certain sin, e.g. alcoholism, he will certainly use it.

The devil’s power is not absolute. He cannot gainsay free will, but he can, as AndyF points out neatly, trick you into surrendering your will.

How many with sexual weaknesses have cut themselves off from Jesus, because they will only accept Jesus if he accepts the sin they have embraced? What will the man who has accepted the label in an ontological sense say on judgement day? Will he accept mercy or deny it because he believes he is being asked to deny his essence
“I am loud and proud” ?

Christians don’t hate gays; they care about them in the truest sense, for Christians look at the eternal stakes and the true freedom in this life (found by following truth-Jesus)

RiverTam, we are all tempted in different ways. Why tempt only x% of the population to do drugs, or only x% of the population to rape or kill? Why not tempt them all to do so? Obviously all temptations do apply to only a certain percentage of the population, so what is the point?

In response to several people, I am not arguing against the idea that different people have different desires, some of which go against morality. I am arguing that direct demonic influence is not the cause of homosexuality.
My response to this is that there are many people who completely reject God. They resist anything that feels like concience and do whatever they can get away with. There is even an atheist philosophy based on this (called Satanism, in fact.) Yet, the majority of them remain straight. It is not that they continue to avoid temptation in that area, they simply feel no desire towards homosexuality.
Similarly, there are quite a few heterosexual men who are paid to do gay porn. And yet, they remain straight, only acting against their desires for money. I am sure they have done a lot more experimentation with homosexual thoughts and actions than I ever did as a young teenager, yet I am gay and they are not. I think it is fairly obvious that neither demons nor experimentation are the root cause of homosexuality.
Now, as to the “cures”, there are several explanations. First, some or all of them could be lying in order to get rid of the negative stigma attached to them-something I would not blame anyone for doing. And not necessarily lying on purpose, they could also be convinced that they have changed, simply out of desperation or delusion.
Or, they could have been bisexuals the whole time, and now they have forced themselves into the habit of ignoring homosexual thoughts and paying extra attention to heterosexual ones. This would make it seem to them that they are straight now.
And finally, it is possible that actual change has taken place. This does not mean that it was divine in origin. It could be that whatever caused their homosexuality was reversed through natural hormonal or psychological processes. This certainly explains why many of these “ex-gays” were not religious prior to their change. It also accounts for the men who claim that they used to be completely straight, but are now gay.

Trust Mary, she’s a Mom too, and offers to her children proof it’s all a lie.

Whoever has deleted my posts from this thread, please notify me who you are and why.
All of my posts to this thread were meant to be reasonable responses to posts that contradicted the available evidence, Catholic theology, and my own experience. If any of my examples deemed inappropriate, then please tell me which so that I can avoid those topics in future posts.

How about just being his friend?

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