I was in a relationship with a boyfriend for about four years. I loved him because he is really caring and has higher morals than most boys.
He had some problems from his past and gradually became distant from me. I saw him the same amount, but he would reject hugs and prefer to watch TV when I went round his. I started going off him and after a couple of years, I told him I wanted to break up.
I am currently with another boy, who I get a lont with well. He is religious (not Catholic), so understands my views and that I want to save sexual activity for marriage, but he has such little self control. I get fed up of having to push him away and tell him off. He is trying though, but it's irritating me more and more. Also, due to his religion, unless he converts or allow me to raise my children Catholic (he's not a Christian) I don't see how a marriage would work.
However, he lives so close to me and is at my university. He can give me the support I need and I life would be so difficult if we break up. I'm not sure if I'm with him for the wrong reasons because my views on love have changed a lot since all this.
I have started talking to my first boyfriend again. He doesn't know about my current one. I didn't tell him because I don't know if he'll cope. My new reason for not telling him is because I believe I might be with him again some day and I don't want him to lose hope on us.
I know this all seems really selfish and is tottally against my moral views, but I'm in this situation now. I can't stop seeing my current boyfriend. Even if I did, I'll have no one. My previous boyfriend lives an hour away and we're both students. Since I went to a boarding school, everyone I know lives so far away, and my current boyfriend is the only reason why I'm not depressed.
My previous boyfriend is an Agnostic with very Christian morals. He is anti-abortion and so selfless that he will do anything for others. He doesn't think that God exists though, because he doesn't understand why a murderer should be able to enter Heaven a long with people who have had more moral lives.
Sorry if this isn't very clear, but I will try to explain it better if there is something unclarified. I am seeking an opinion from people on here because views will have more moral than those on a secular website. I don't mind if an atheist answers this question by the way.
Thank you for reading all this. I know it seems silly, but It's getting me down. I am praying the rosary for it over Holy Week, but not all prayers are answered and I have to take action myself.