How to balance Christian compassion with not being 'taken for a ride'?


#1

Recently I purchased something online from a business in India.
I have bought from India previously many times without issue but this time I was buying from a business I had never bought with before.
The seller was quite pushy but I ended up purchasing anyway.
After the sale I asked for a tracking number and I was given the wrong one (ie:didn’t work).
The seller said it was a problem with DHL website but DHL website worked fine for me.
He said he would get back to me about it.
After a few days,I sent them more messages politely enquiring about it however they didn’t reply.
At the same time,I could see that the seller was still “active online” and listing other things with photos,messages etc…

After no response,and the issue with the tracking number,I began to think maybe I was not going to receive anything and got worried as it was reasonably high price.
I started thinking the option maybe the seller was a fraud who was just using fake photos but had no goods.
So I sent them/him a message stating I was going to have to open a case with PayPal to try to retrieve my money as I had received no response to numerous messages and I didn’t know if I would receive my item or if he even had the item and that I didn’t know if they were just busy or if there was an issue.

He replied back with a correct tracking number (which worked this time) and apologised saying they weren’t able to work as much as usual as his Grandmother was in hospital.

Now I feel guilty :grimacing:.
At the same time I don’t know if I should feel guilty,or is there a chance that it’s not even true and my emotions are being manipulated?

How would you act it/see this situation?

Any thoughts on what I could have done differently?
How to be smart but still compassionate.

Thanks


#2

I think you did fine. And quite rationally.
I wouldn’t give it further thought .Just hope your item arrives as you expect.


#3

Have you got the item yet


#4

Grandmother in hospital. :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Sorry, but this is exactly what scammers say as part of their ploy.

OTOH, he really could have a grandmother in the hospital. How do you know if a tracking number is good or not? And does a good tracking number mean a package has actually been sent? Is there any way to know what might be in that package, or do you only know something has been sent?


#5

This guy spent over a year dealing with scammers. He’ll give you a good laugh, and teach you a bit about what to look out for as well.

Entertaining and educational. :+1:t4:


#6

No,it’s showing it’s still in transit.


#7

Thanks Gracie.Thats helpful to know.


#8

He elaborated that his Grandmother was having a “piles” operation :flushed:.
I don’t know if he is oversharing or if he is having me on lol.
Yes,this is all during a business transaction communication.

The tracking number is good though as I have typed it into the postal carriers website with success and it seems legitimate.


#9

How long has it been?


#10

I would have done the same and thought nothing twice of it.


#11

It’s been under 2 weeks so it’s reasonable timing considering it’s coming from India.
I wouldn’t have expected it to have arrived yet but it was more the lack of communication (while still seeing them still post online elsewhere) that made me start being concerned.


#12

Thanks,that’s good to know.I thought maybe I was overreacting/being too cautious?


#13

Hi,
I have similar things happen w getting clothes from China. The prices aren’t high. I considered one lost but it took longer. I hadn’t started any complaints. I laughed when they finally got here.
Interfering situations occur. Your communication was appropriate. He just communicated a real reason. Assume it’s real! Always assume the good. We don’t really bump into many serial killers…Guilt, NEVER, has to be felt. It’s a choice. Was your heart appropriate? Did you feel concern & not hate? Did you comment that you were sorry his Grandmother was in the hospital and meaningfully say prayers for her??? It’s a learning experience!
Maxine Waters frustrates me! I have negative thoughts about her. I pray Psslm 54- Create I’m me a clean heart, Lord. SIGH!
We always have temptation before us…


#14

Hi TweedleAlice,
Unfortunately it wasn’t a cheap item and if I had got a cheap item like off EBay or Aliexpress I wouldn’t even bother chasing it up because for that price I figure you should only expect the shipping to be slow and take a month or so.

I didn’t feel any bad thoughts towards him only concern about the money I had spent so hopefully that means my heart was good?
I did tell him that I’m sorry about his mother.
At the same time I wasn’t sure if I should be saying that if it’s a business transaction,like is it too familiar or is it ok to say in this context?
I did tell him though as I thought its better to be kind than concerns about ‘appropriateness’.


#15

The moral of the story is to buy domestically made items whenever possible and employ your fellow countrymen and hopefully perpetuate our own country and culture rather than another possibly at odds with it. I try to never buy anything from the far east, let alone order something coming from there. Keep the money here where it belongs.


#16

There’s nothing to feel guilty about. He wasn’t responding to your messages, you had to do something. Telling him you were going to open a case with PayPal was the right thing to do – you gave him one last chance to fix the problem. And he did.


#18

Im not from America but I do try to buy from my country to support local businesses wherever possible but there are some things that can’t be bought except overseas.


#19

Can you elaborate?


#20

Lots of red flags! Keep an eye on the calendar for PayPal refunds/cancellations/disputes. My experience with this sort of thing is that delay tactics are the norm for fraudsters, and they wait for the clock to run out so you cannot dispute the charge with PayPal. Two weeks is a long time to wait. What is your final day to dispute the charge?


#21

Every scammer out there says “Grandma in hospital”.

The correct response is “Sorry about your Grandma, I will pray for her” and proceed with your case against Paypal if you don’t get the right item timely.

Business is business. This guy is not allowed to defraud you out of money, even if he really does have a sick grandma.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.