My husband is 6 years older than me and I married him when I was very young. We now have two small children together and have been married for 12 years. His family all have very strong personalities with very strong opinions. They openly share their opinions and criticisms all the time. You never have to guess how they feel about something or for advice because they will openly give it without invitation. My husband is very close with his brother. They have a business together and hobby together etc. He is a constant presence in our lives. We spend every weekend with him and his family.
To speak truthfully, I really do not like him (brother in law). He is very selfish, speaks profanity regularly, bullies his wife and children, always has to have his way (and will pout if he doesn’t) and he is always saying things to me that are inappropriate and crossing the line. He lacks self awareness for how he is and is in denial about how he treats other people. He always justifies his actions and finds ways to blame others for why he behaves the way he does.
I have realized over the years, that in order to keep the peace in my own marriage, I really just need to try and get along the best that I can and walk away when I need to. I have tried to talk with my husband about how I feel, that his brother is not a good influence for our children or a good role model as a husband. He agrees but continues to let his brother bully him and our family.
Early on I realized that I wasn’t only marrying my husband, I was marrying his family. I knew from the beginning what a huge influence they would be on our family so in essence, I feel bad complaining about it. But it has reached a point where I can’t take it anymore. My husband chooses to work with him everyday, he has made the choice for us to spend every weekend with him as well. I’ve oppressed this so much and tried so hard to accept it that I haven’t realized how unhappy I am and worried for my family… until recently, I just blurted it all out and caused a major argument. I think my husband is manipulated by him and I worry that my kids will repeat their uncles crude behavior and have problems at school. I’m not sure what to do as my husband just wants to keep everyone happy and doesn’t seem to stand up for what is right. I feel like my husband would thrive more if he went out on his own, I know we would be happier, but he will never feel this way… ??:(