I’m in my sophomore year in college, and my brother is a freshman (same college). We both live at home right now, and it’s driving us both crazy, especially my brother. How can we convince our parents to treat us like adults? We’re both responsible, working enough hours to pay the bills, getting scholarships, etc.
But we have to call them when we get to a place, and again when we’re leaving. And Dad’s constantly making up proclaimations that we have to follow, and changing his mind, and Mom of course has to break the news to us and stand by Dad. It’s a bunch of little things that are adding up.
Dad keeps asking me when my hours are, even though they’re on the family calendar. What time I’m going to classes. Etc. It got to so that I just say I “have” to be at school at 7 am; I’m not about to tell him that gives me three hours to study before my first class. Also, I have to ask permission to stay later, if I want to be in a group. Also, he wasn’t keen on me being in a pro life group.
He also keeps changing his mind. “You’re adults now, so we can’t tell you what to do anymore” and he goes on to do just that. He tells us one set of rules one week, then “forgets” it was his idea the next week and change it.
In short, he likes micro-managing. Recently he blew up because I didn’t have the information he wanted about the extra scholarships I won–nobody had the information yet at that point.
My brother is planning on living in a dorm next school year, and I really would like to join him, but right now I’m tied to staying at home because I “share” my car with Dad, since he pays half the car payment. (I pay the other half and all the insurance). If I moved to a dorm, I’d lose my car, and it’s impossible in my city to travel by bus, so I’d have to give up my job as well.
So, I would appreciate any tips on how to help parents understand our need for independence, and to give us a bit of free rein, so we can go places and do things other college students do, like meet up at a restaurant and be in groups and things like that. I don’t mind doing my part at home. I just don’t like it when they nag and nit-pick and constantly question you and tell you what to do, and then say the next minutes, “you’re an adult, I can’t tell you what to do anymore, it’s up to you.” (a hollow proclaimation.) Thanks.