we should try to avoid sinful situations and negative thought .whenever we feel like criticizing others we should always think for a moment ,are we perfect? we too are weak humans, we are full of defects,imperfections,short comings and at times ,we fall in the same situations most of the time,so it will be easier to forgive, and try to look for the good qualities in each person, rather than the negatives ones, in the beginning we may have to struggle for while ,but slowly get into the habit of it , other wise your trying to take the judgement seat of Jesus ,and the same measure you judge, you too will be judged, with out mercy. As Jesus shows mercy to you and your sinful situations, Jesus also will show mercy to you, God Bless
Psalms 119: 9-14 How can young people keep their way pure? By guarding it according to your word.
10 With my whole heart I seek you; do not let me stray from your commandments.
11 I treasure your word in my heart, so that I may not sin against you.12 Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes.13 With my lips I declare all the ordinances of your mouth.14 I delight in the way of your decrees as much as in all riches.
Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; 15 but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Say a daily Rosary.
Stay off the internet.
Just learn to laugh at everything. If you can keep a sense of humor life will be much lighter and less of a burden.
What in the WORLD are you doing over here telling people to be all Happy Clappy and everything? Guys, everyday this guy is complaining on the curmudgeon thread. You ought to go see for yourself. I am SO exposing you over there. Katy is going to be furious.
If you really want some good advice, make sure you have some crabby friends who will SUPPORT you in your crabbiness but also COMPLAIN about your crabbiness and not be all afraid to tell you. None of this “Oh, you’re so great at dancing or something” when you can’t even do a polka beat to save your life.
How can you “love” a person if you dislike them intensely?
I’ve been trying to be more positive myself. It is tough, especially with bad habits.
For some people about which you wish to acknowledge something positive you may not be able to come up with any positive acts. I had some neighbors recently who were drug addicts and thieves. In my interactions with them there wasn’t a single positive thing they did. So for positive thoughts I had to go to them being a child of God and having sympathy for whatever experiences they had in life that led them down this road.
Also, yesterday I heard a podcast that said we need to have three positive thoughts for every negative thought. I think this was based on some study. Who knows, but it probably is a good goal.
I know you were asking fin, but I wanted to answer.
The simple answer is that we love people by willing their good. It doesn’t mean we have warm fuzzy feelings for them all the time (or ever). It means we want them to get to heaven and come to know God.
Gasp! I’ve been exposed! I must do Curmudgeonly penance for my heretical ways.
Well, so I’ve been doing that for my late family and some creeps of my acquaintance.
Thanks for the heads up.
Good answer, and it requires a certain bit of detachment from human beings in a way. I recall watching a video on Mother Theresa’s Sisters of Charity. They were busy cleaning and taking care of a crabby old lady in her cluttered little apartment. The entire time they were cleaning, she was angry and complaining, but the nuns were happy and loving to her and each other busy with their work. As Mother Theresa says, it really isn’t between you and “them” anyways. It’s really between you and God.
I admire your efforts. I do worry that you feel you need to physically avoid things though, like politics, social media etc. Only say I worry cos these things have a way of coming into conversation and tripping you up in this day and age unless you are a relative hermit. Still if you feel you need this level of avoidance then do so, just be careful you don’t get hurt when one or many of those things manages to crash through. Give some thought to learning to deal with small amounts of those things with a view to building up a tolerance so that you can protect yourself in the future.
In answer to your question, I’d say first off is your outlook. Things are not negative and positive like you seem to think. Only God can really see things like that because He sees into people’s hearts so we must really just trust in Him. So that’s what you need to learn really. It sounds to me like you are a sensitive person who is easily affected by things in the world. I am like this too so I understand. Would it surprise you to know many saints were too? I am not comparing us to saints, just saying that it happens that people are like that. You can get past it, it is by no means easy. St Bernadette, St Padre Pio, St Gemma, St Catherine of Sienna. Perhaps read some of their works if you feel you are sensitive.
I think to stop thinking badly of others is very difficult indeed as one cannot control a thought often, but you can control your action. What do you do with the bad thought about the person? Can you smile and say good morning to the person. Are they a neighbour, friend, family member? could you do a tiny good turn for them, in particular something they do not know you did/do, especially something you don’t want/like to do. Also pray for the person and their intentions and lastly confess those bad/grumpy/irritable thoughts in confession. I found all these to be most helpful in removing/lessening bad thoughts about people and changing them into fond thoughts.
I wonder why some people are more or less sensitive than others. I wonder why some are transparent and others are opaque. Some children need little to no guidance and others need step by step help. The world is an interesting place.
In her (St. Therese"Little Flower" ) autobiography, she beautifully explains this spirituality:
Jesus set before me the book of nature. I understand how all the flowers God has created are beautiful, how the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not take away the perfume of the violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy. I understand that if all flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose her springtime beauty, and the fields would no longer be decked out with little wild flowers. So it is in the world of souls, Jesus’ garden. He has created smaller ones and those must be content to be daisies or violets destined to give joy to God’s glances when He looks down at His feet. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wills us to be.
1 Corinthians 15:41 There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars; for star differs from star in glory.
Sirach 16:27 He arranged his works in an eternal order, and their dominion for all generations; they neither hunger nor grow weary, and they do not cease from their labors.
Acts 10:34 [ Gentiles Hear the Good News ] And Peter opened his mouth and said: “Truly I perceive that God shows no partiality,
It can be difficult to see the world this way because on Earth some qualities are more valued than others. Some people’s physical beauty is more outstanding than others.
Yea,I suppose, variety is the the spice of Life .God made everything different ,eg our five fingers, if all the five fingers are the same how do we looks? like wise,if every thing in this world is white color how it would look, if all vegetables are the same or taste the same, how it would be? .each and everything has its own value, place its beauty ,so unique ,each one in this world, is a world in it self ,so Enjoy the difference !
If you see yourself thinking a bad thing, imagine a balloon popping on the thought. Picture Christ being crucified, in detail.
If you start saying something in your mind like “I curse,” then simply add, “not, but bless”. Or something like that. Or “I hate,” into “not, but love”.
Try to understand. You don’t know their hearts. If someone seems rather rude, perhaps it is because they need some alone time because of something terrible that has happened to them, or perhaps they are caught up in their thoughts.
Demons are very real. They do attack us. Over the person, it is sin that is doing the bad.
If you are going to say something about somebody say something good about that person.
Say a quick prayer for the person , I am emphasizing quick here.
The best way to drop negative thoughts is to give them no space to grow. That includes your remedy. A quick “Lord bless and protect (name)” is all you need. (Think let go and let God.)
Add the routinely difficult people to your prayer list and pray for them when it isn’t the heat of the moment. You can do this for a particular person or as a general group. This saves you from feeling you have to make a long involved prayer.
Then focus on what you can do. You can’t control if another person has positive attributes but you can control if you are a positive influence on the world. The acts of mercy are a great place to start.
If someone keeps tripping you up…offer a Mass for them.
I’m reading The Power Of Silence and finding that helpful to stay away from the pressures and negativity that media has.