How does one overcome lust, Sins of the flesh, sexual needs / desires?
Deep constant prayer, frequent Confession, frequent Adoration, asking God for the grace to do so
Cant seem to beat it however hard i try.
First, lust is not the same as “sexual needs/desires”. Lust is something to be got rid of; sexual desire is not. If you do not yet understand the distinction, start by getting that straight for yourself.
Second, lust can only be got rid of by displacing it, gradually, with pure (lust-free, sinless) attraction to the feminine. Learn to love woman purely (again). Long for that kind of love so ardently that lusty attraction loses its appeal, and becomes distasteful even. (And note that you cannot love a woman purely, and lust after her at the same time. It’s either-or. Note also that if you’re paired with a woman who invites or encourages lust – as many women do – then that’s a serious practical problem that stands in the way of your recovery.)
Don’t expect to recover from lust quickly or easily. The process is gradual, and takes many years. Lust is a poison. If you’ve been injecting yourself with it for years or decades, it will take a long time to recover – but recover you can.
Well, as @CajunJoy65 said, Deep and constant prayer and frequent Confession can help more than you realize. Having struggled with an addiction against lustful desires myself, I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. As of right now, I do my best to pray a decade of the Rosary over the course of a day. I say an Our Father and 5 Hail Maries in the morning, and then 5 Hail Maries, a Glory Be, and a Fatima Prayer at night. This has helped significantly with avoiding impure thoughts; I used to experience them all the time, and now, it barely happens. When it does, though, I don’t find it hard to resist them.
Start a faith habit; if you keep up a faith habit and actively resist lustful desires and thoughts, then the devil will avoid you more. He will not stop trying, but he will do it less often. When it happens, just go to Confession. You got this.
I think I will have a very unpopular opinion but I think yes, we try our hardest to do so with God’s grace. But all temptations we endure are also permitted by God to some degree. I think we do not overcome them, rather, He does it in us. It is more like a battle with each individual temptation.
And (here’s the unpopular part) I think God takes away some struggles in His time no matter what we try. I think it is a process He takes us through, but if we walk with Him through it, the sin will ultimately be used for our sanctification. All things [including sin] work together for the good of those who love God. It doesn’t mean the sin is good though, but anyway, just my thoughts and my thoughts aren’t law.
I thought it was worth adding the emphasis, because this gets said so very seldom.
Anyway, it’s strange, but true. Sin too, teaches us, and takes us farther. For those who love God, indeed it does work together with everything else, for the good.
Actually, @SonofJoseph, in my struggle against this matter, I realize that might be true for me. Before I struggled with this, I didn’t realize how important the Sacrament of Confession was. Now, I have a story to tell in order to demonstrate how important it is.
I found that getting old helps a lot
Don’t try so hard. Realise your efforts are ineffectual because you can only conquer sin through God’s grace, not your own strength. Fighting lust just fuels the fire. You argue with the devil. Offer it up to God instead. First, however, you’ll have to prove yourself worthy of this gift of grace. Hence, avoid the near occassions of sin like fire. Any time, place or situation you are tempted, avoid. Pray constantly, and with the grace of God, you will succeed.
Thank you all.
Problem i have i lusting after the same person. It ends in sex. She is indeed married so it is double bad. I do frequent confession regularly. My prayers for help though seem to get lost in transit. Its a never ending circle that i am sure the devil is behind.
Please pray that i can get closer to God to further away from this sickening sin/s.
As someone who has had my fair share of struggles (though I suspect I’m not the same gender I think this advice will still help): Keep busy. Replace one thought with another. Be active. Do not allow yourself to be complacent.
One thing I’ve heard is when you start experiencing lustful thoughts or desires to say a Hail Mary. Kind of hard to be lustful when you have the Holy Mother in your thoughts but for me the absolute best thing I ever did was to get busy (as in, if I started having thoughts to get up, change what I was doing and do something else so my entire thought process was redirected).
She’s married ?
You know some husbands act violent - when finding out.
Hope you have medical - and dental insurance.
Then your going to need fire insurance -
That type of behavior - will - send you to hell.
Don’t give the devil too much credit.
And if you are actually having sex with this woman then I’d suggest the first step is to NEVER be alone with her.
If it’s a case of imagining yourself having sex with her then you need to redirect your thoughts.
Take personal responsibility, then take control. Self control doesn’t happen overnight, it must be cultivated. The first step is to actively choose to say no.
Sometimes a very pragmatic approach is best. Avoid seeing this woman as much as you can. Find other things to occupy yourself that are edifying. Block her on social media, screen her calls (and block her if your carrier can do that), or get a new number. I wouldn’t succumb to the temptation to meet her or talk to her “one last time.” These situations, or stalking and harassment, are situations when “ghosting” is probably the best course of action, because you should just not have any contact with her whatsoever.
I just got in line behind a very attractive women not long ago. I just turn my head the other way…not always easy but it’s self discipline.
Although I still have lustful thoughts sometimes and slip sometimes, I feel as though I have a better handle on it ever since starting to pray the Rosary every day. It helps a great deal.
The sex drive/attraction is part of human nature. But, this is what I try to do in this type of situation:
I imagine the subject of my interest as a child of God, and the thought goes away!
BTW, stay away from this woman! You’re playing with fire and you’re going to get burned sooner or later!