I’ve been trying to do daily meditations and prayers on the Lord’s Passion since the beginning of this year and for part of last year. I have some admiration for the Passionists and it seems very important to consider our Lord’s sacrifice for us. I do this almost every day for about 20 minutes. Since March I have missed maybe 1 to 3 days a month and made up all my missed days.
However, I don’t feel like I’m doing a great job of really “feelin’ it” if you know what I mean. At first I thought if I just said the daily prayers, eventually I would find the way to go deeper, as that’s how it often works for me. But it doesn’t seem to be working as fast as I hoped. Occasionally I also use meditation aids but they aren’t always available. One problem is that I have heard and seen the Passion and Crucifixion story over and over so many times, it has lost some of the impact in the retelling. I also have seen Passion of the Christ and a host of other such films - the one that had most impact on me was actually “Barabbas” where you don’t see Jesus but just a cross being carried past a bar where Barabbas, newly released, is partying. That, and the end of the 70s film version of Jesus Christ Superstar where they all get back on the bus, had more impact on me than seeing all the blood etc.
I know I’m probably not going to turn into St Gemma or similar (she’s not one of my go-to saints, we don’t have much in common) but I just wondered if anyone had any tips for this kind of meditation. Especially tips that don’t require a meditation aid. Or should I just give up and choose to meditate on something else like the Eucharist? It seems like the Cross is central to just about every devotion so I would rather not just give up, especially since I committed myself to at least finish this year and possibly do a second year before shifting focus.