You are the person who recently filed-or is planning to file for divorce? Yes?
First, you need to stay away from him-well, as much as you can. Granted, you have children together, so..you are going to have to have some contact with him.
I can tell you what I felt, and what I did...you have to understand, it's going to take a lot of time to heal the wounds...you know?
I-well, in the first, um...I suppose 6 to 8 months...took it one day at a time....sometimes one hour at a time. HA!
It was really hard, let me tell you..but, try to find something to distract you. Try to find some kind of group, something to occupy your time so that you don't have time to brood over how your ex wronged you, etc. If you have time to dwell on it, it will tear you apart.
I was-well, in a sense, lucky in that regard...I was in RT school FT, and worked PT on the weekends, and I had a 4 year old son to contend with;0D
(I had a very, very good babysitter who watched my boy when I worked and went to school...he was in the school system daycare PT-he needed speech therapy-and with the babysitter the nights I worked.)
I do recall that when I was especially tempted to rant at the ex and remind him of the many ways he was a scum-bucket (granted, he wasn't near as bad as I saw him then) I would write e-mails that were positively nasty....then delete them....they were NEVER SENT to him....that was my way of working through my anger. I suggest perhaps a diary to sort through your feelings? However, DO NOT GIVE HIM THIS INFORMATION...the goal is to work through your anger, not to bash him.
Your goal? To accept that what is, just IS-and you and your children need to move on.
He will not change-unless HE wants to...not for you, not for the kids (sad to say), not for anyone...unless HE wants it.
You have to realize that he's not plotting to make your life miserable....he's just-well-I'd venture to say a terribly confused man who probably doesn't know what he wants in the long term and lives in the moment....just a guess...but, sounds like it.
I really don't think he hates you, and for you to harbor resentment will destroy you, but...it takes a lot of time and work to get to that point...and-well-everyone's different.
Some people come to the freedom of letting the resentment go rather fast, some....well...never let it go. Your goal is to understand the why of it, and then let it go.