I am new here and joined this forum especially to post this post. I hope you can help.
I’m 24, my husband’s 23. We’ve been married for two years in a few weeks and have a baby girl, who’s 10 months old. We’re very happy to be parents, and while money is very tight, we lead a generally happy life with a great and supportive extended family. So why am I on here complaining?
Well, I don’t know what to do with regards to our sex life. Basically, my husband has a low sex drive and sex has diminished from once or twice a week at the start of our marriage to about once every two months or so. I am at my wits’ end and go through a torrent of emotions every time I try to attempt to ‘make a move’ - anger, hurt, rejection, despair…
I don’t know what to do for the best. I love my husband and of course I believe marriage is for life, I chose to marry him, low sex drive and all, yet I cannot accept this may be it - the frequency of sex - for the rest of my life. I think I am struggling to accept this because I’m 24 and just starting out on life in the ‘big wide world’, if you like. While I do not regret getting married at 22, I feel very sad about our current situation.
We pray rarely together, apart from at church at the weekend. We have theological discussions however and frequently say prayers with our daughter. I am wondering whether not involving God so much in our marriage (in that we don’t pray regularly together) is why we are getting nowhere fast in relation to our complete mismatch of sex drives. Perhaps we just don’t understand one another and aren’t being patient enough.
He is due to see a doctor this week. I am ashamed of myself for thinking this but part of me is hoping he has something up with him, like low testosterone leves - just so that I won’t have to deal with the stress of trying to coax him into some kind of sexual relationship.
Sorry for waffling on. Any advice would be appreciated.