I am fine, just to have you all know, first off all my friends here. Thank you for reading this first and foremost. You all even reading one more thread by me is such a gift to me anyway. Thank you and huge hug from me, on-line!!! My friends on CAF~ I love you all.
My h has been:shrug: out of the house now, for the 5th time in 2 years for his continuing sex addiction and affair with a stripper. It’s now been one month exactly.
I am having some highs and lows, mostly highs this time around, as I am becoming SO aware of how damaging he was to me and to our family and our children. How I didn’t see it 2 years ago, or how stupid I was NOT to see it, etc. I wish I was strong enough back then to follow the Love Must Be Tough principals as Dr. Dobson stated in his wonderful book, of the same name, but I wasn’t. I guess I should not beat myself up over it huh? I’m feeling like such a complete fool that I didn’t “get it” 2 years ago…Eveyone tried to tell me even on here 2 years ago, but I guess I was not ready to move forward. I had hope endlessly, love endlessly, etc., to no avail.
Anyway, on and off I suffer from such incredible pain I cannot sleep. Knowing my marriage is over and cannot ever go back. How does one deal with this? I ask you all, ones who have gone through this?
As usual in all the times of separation before, my h never once was the one to attempt reconciliation. Always me. I urged him to move home, instilled guilt in him, etc. He still wanted to be carrying on with his favorite whore from the nudie bar and do it under my nose…the entire time…cointinuously now for over 3 years…WHY was I so stupid before??? I guess I panicked.
I’d appreciate any advice this day. I am still in lots of pain on and off. However, I am much better than last time I wrote, so much better. I have accepted the fact that my husband is a pervert sex addict and shows no love for me or his kids, that it is HIS choice and that there is nothing I can do to change it. Plus, after all his lies, I cannot be married to a man like this moving forward. I am going to sadly sell my wedding rings this week.