How to deal with an imposing roommate?


#1

We have a roommate, DH and I. Actually, she needed a place to stay for a while and we were moving into a 2 bedroom apt. so we said she could move in until she finds another place. That was in June…it is now February and we want her out. Problem is, I foolishly trusted her with the lease. I asked her to sign on the occupant line (not the lease line) and asked her if she could drop it off to the landlord since I had to be at work (this was in June). She signed the lease line. I take that as being intentional since I “X’ed” where she was supposed to sign. Now the landlord says since she is included on the lease, we can’t kick her out until the lease is up this June.

I try to be as charitable as possible but she is imposing on our marriage. She wont talk to me, only to DH and about private issues that I wish she wouldn’t talk to him about. I’ve told her this clearly several times but she still continues to confide in him. She even got drunk one night and started to explain how she’d be a better wife than me…to him when I wasn’t there. I trust my husband with my life, but I don’t trust her. She drinks by herself just to get drunk. She steals our money (or so we suspect anyway), she’s late on her rent payments, its just frustrating.

What do we do?

Thanks


#2

evict her, with legal assistance if necessary.


#3

Have you spoken to your DH about stopping those “private” conversations before they even begin? Why is he even entertaining what she has to say, especially if it undermines you or your relationship?


#4

Legally, kicking her out is going to be tough because of the way the lease is signed.
If you’re on the occupant line and she’s on the lease line, then it’s “her” place, right? As in her responsibility if YOU move out?

I know what a hassle moving is (believe me, I’ve done it twice a year for four years now), but can you find a place with comparable rent and leave her at this place?


#5

Untangling/challenging the lease legally could likely eat up the months until June. As inconvenient as it may be, I would suggest you avoid her (and thus your apt.) as much as possible. Come to an agreement with your husband that he will not put himself in the position of being alone in the apt. with her. I trust you have learned a valuable lesson about sharing your living space with someone other than your spouse.


#6

[quote=Island Oak]Untangling/challenging the lease legally could likely eat up the months until June. As inconvenient as it may be, I would suggest you avoid her (and thus your apt.) as much as possible. Come to an agreement with your husband that he will not put himself in the position of being alone in the apt. with her. I trust you have learned a valuable lesson about sharing your living space with someone other than your spouse.
[/quote]

Ditto


#7

Yeah, He’s already stated the first time that he wanted nothing to do with her…she keeps trying. He leaves the room, she follows. It’s gotten so bad that he leaves the apartment just to avoid her. Its hard for me to avoid her because we are in all the same classes. Like I said, the apartment is in my name and hers (she intentionally signed on the wrong line). Her living with us was only supposed to last a month or two until she found somewhere else. Since she intentionally signed the lease line not the occupant line, she has reminded us (not so nicely) that we can’t kick her out.

We feel so helpless, especially since we “took her in” when she had no where to go and tried to help her out. It feels like we were completely taken advantage of. We’ve strongly decided that NO MORE ROOMMATES and we don’t care if they are only temporary. We’ve definalty learned our lesson.

How about any advice on being nice to someone that drives you crazy???

thanks


#8

[quote=sarcophagus].

How about any advice on being nice to someone that drives you crazy???

thanks
[/quote]

Put on a walkman, mini disc, or mp3 player while in the house with her and keep it on at all times. That’s what I would do.


#9

here’s the funny thing…that doesn’t stop her…we’ve tried. She talks to you even when you’ve got them on…didn’t I mention she was a bit strange??


#10

You might talk with your apartment manager if you think they are a decent sort and see if they will cut you a deal if you “break” the current lease, but agree to move into another apartment in the same complex on a new lease. They may do it if you explain the basics of the situation (nut job, late on rent, etc) and they see the guarantee of a renewed lease from the responsible people instead of you just moving away in June. It is amazing how accommodating people can be if they think it means more money in their pockets.

I’m an attorney and I cannot give you advice specific to your state, but I can tell you that you want the landlord on your side. The landlord/tenant laws are not usually favorable to the tenant, so it is nice if they work with you. In any case, I would suggest checking on the laws in your state in case the landlord won’t work with you and the situation with this woman gets too crazy to deal with any longer. It may be that you have to pay a fine if you break the lease or it might be that you owe the remainder of the lease. In many places, if they can rerent the unit then they cannot charge you any further rent on it, so you may have to pay only one extra month or nothing if apts are tight in your area. Definitely check on things before taking another trusting leap as you did with this lease. You may be able to find an attorney to give you some free advice regarding your local laws at a volunteer legal clinic hosted by your local bar association. Ours does it quite often by phone and in person.


#11

Just to let you all know, she is moving out at the end of the month!!! On her own accord, I didn’t even have to say anything to her. Things are looking up!!


#12

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