[quote="Sobriquet, post:11, topic:206536"]
Unfortunately, I've been the adult child committing those particular sins. My parents handled it by making it clear initially that they disapproved and not allowing my boyfriend and me to share a bedroom in their home when we visited. It was hard knowing that they disapproved of these and other aspects of my hedonistic lifestyle, but I certainly think it made a difference. After a little more than two years of cohabitation, I ended that relationship and moved out on my own. I very much needed my parents' support (emotional, not financial) at that time, and I was grateful that they hadn't distanced themselves from me. It was the first step in turning back to God and renewing a Christian life. So while this is an awful situation, please don't despair that no good can come of it.
You don't give a lot of details about your daughter's situation, but I would agree with others that you should end any financial support. You might go so far as to decide not to visit their home--rather, meeting them at a restaurant if you're visiting them or having them over to your home. Certainly your younger children should not visit your daughter's home.
You don't say how old the younger children are, but it might be wise to ask your daughter not to advertise to them the fact that she is living with her boyfriend. If they do find out, or are old enough to figure it out, I would make it very clear to them that while you love this daughter very much, she is sinning and you disapprove. If they are old enough, I would start talking with them about how you think healthy Christian relationships should progress from dating to marriage, and why God's plan is better.
The issue of lying needs to be addressed as well. I think it's strange to lie about something like cohabitation because it's not very easy to hide the fact that two people are living together. Anyway, I would certainly tell your daughter that you're hurt that she lied to you, and that you wish she would tell you the truth. While I am not blaming you for her sin, perhaps your reaction when she first told you she was going to live with her boyfriend gave her reason to think her actions would ruin your relationship with her. I would evaluate how you responded initially; perhaps acknowledging that you could have handled things differently might help your relationship with her.
Finally, although I'm sure you are already doing this, don't forget to pray for her and her boyfriend!
This is good advice. :thumbsup:
lutheranteach, and michaelr sorry your advice imo stinks.