I try very hard not to judge people or in anyway look down upon them. Growing up, my mother talked very well about her father’s family but we had very little contact with these people. She seemed to avoid them. Now that she has passed they seem eager to be involved with my mother’s children. In their defense they are very giving people and more then willing to give a person the proverbial 'shirt off their back. But I find myself concerned by both their crudness and my younger sister’s.
Here are some examples: One of the family members is very old-in her eighties. She and her husband act very fond of one another. A much younger brother of hers stood up at the viewing of my mother’s body and told this story of the older couple. One day the husband-he was young at the time- was asked by someone why he kept getting his wife pregnant(They had many children). The husband responded that he had little to do with the matter. When he woke up at night his wife was helping herself.(meaning having sex) This story obviously embarrassed the now eighty year old woman.
I was told that the same older man used to-until he had daughters- feel up every woman’s boobs that he met. This was considered funny and simply something that you, as a woman, were supposed to submitt too.
I haven’t physically seen my sister in several years, although I have talked to her own the phone and e-mailed her. In her phone conversations and through e-mail, she is very funny. In real life, she is very crude. She took my children to lunch and tried to convince them to name their farts and burps. She points out the size of other’ women’s boobs, and discusses aspects of her sexual relations with her hubby that I do not want to know. Any correction makes her angry and she responds with “I am terse and abrupt, deal with it.”
There is much more that I could post but for the most part, I am not certain how to respond to such crudeness. I thought that I was a pretty earthy individual but my goodness, these people are at some strange extreme. Part of the problem is that they all came from very severe poverty and their way of dealing with their problems was to laugh at them. I can understand and admire this trait by itself. The crudeness though bothers me. Also the idea among them that a person can do dishonest bad things but if they are willing to help another person then everything is alright.