Hello, I am hoping you all can give me some advice about how to deal with my mom. But first some background… I am 22 and have been married for just over 9 months. My husband and I are graduate students and will complete our masters’ degrees in a year. Currently we work as graduate assistants at our school and we make enough to just squeak by. But hopefully after we graduate we will be able to get jobs that have decent pay (my husband is getting his master’s in architecture and I’m getting mine in public health). Currently we are postponing pregnancy using NFP. However, we are hoping that after we graduate we would be in a in a better situation to start a family.
Well… my mom always wanted me to be a physician. For the past 4 years I have been telling her that I do not feel it is for me, but she just breaks down crying hysterically when I tell her this. My mom’s number one goal is for me to be successful, and in her mind the only way to be successful is to be a “professional.” I am actually interested in conducting research and am trying to figure out if my masters degree will allow me to do the work I want to do or if I should pursue a PhD, but I am currently tired of school and after I graduate I would like to work for a while/ or if we are able I want to start a family!
My mom says that I promised her (when I got engaged, 2 years ago) that I would complete a MD or PhD before I started having children. When I tell her my current plans of starting to having children in the next few years, she breaks down crying hysterically and says that I was lying to her and my dad and that my word means nothing to them, etc. I know this is not here decision, and that my husband and I have to prayerfully decide when we should have children, but it makes me so sad and so angry that she acts this way.
I guess I am just venting and looking for support for how to deal with my mom. Is there any book I should give to her? I have had to teach my parents about why contraception is wrong and my mom is finally coming around to NFP… but I think she still approaches NFP with a contraceptive mindset.
This issue really weighs on me and I’m just looking for some help.