How to deal with protestant in laws?

Dear All

I have a request here, my husband is protestant and I am catholic, So I am always in fear that what if he will emotionally force me to convert? Though I pretend a lot in front of my in laws eg, not doing sign of cross, or praying rosary. I have been married for 3 year and still dont have a clue what to do?

Is there any way that I can convince my catholic faith to my in-laws ?

God Bless,

The best thing you can do is to be Catholic around his family. If they ask you questions about why Catholics do or believe something and you don’t know, just say that you don’t know. Then hurry here and ask!

Pray everyday about this and ask Jesus to guide you. He won’t led you astray. Pray the rosary for this intention as often as you can. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance.

I will also pray for you!

God Bless you Caroline,

Your best bet is to live the love & sacrifice that Jesus taught us. If they see the joy & positive example you present as a Catholic, they will eventually want what you have!

Learn your Faith well, so you can defend the Truth when the opportunity arises.

Most Protestants don’t know the Truth of the Catholic Faith because we Catholics often do not know it as well as we should. They have been told false things like Catholics worship Mary & pray to statues, etc, etc…

They often have been taught false interpretations of Sacred Scripture as well, like Once Saved, Always Saved, that can lead them astray.

If we do not teach them the Truth, who will?

**Read Sacred Scripture daily (EWTN has the daily Mass readings from Sacred Scripture & a homily here; as well as daily Mass 3 times every day online video. **

You can search the Catechism of the Catholic Faith here; to answer questions. Catholic Answers & many other online sources like EWTN also have resources to answer questions!

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!


Welcome Caroline, you can quietly witness by first inviting some to attend Mass with you.Place a crucifix in a prominent place in your home. A holy water font at your door.Have a special table in your living area where you keep your rosary , bible, and missals. Hope quietly doing these things will help, Be prepared to answer any questions concerning the faith in the same manner. Hope this helps.:):thumbsup:Carlan

I am also Catholic married to a Protestant and I find hard sometimes to relate religiously with them. My in-laws have never really giving me any problems with my faith. However, they have never really asked me what I believe either. I have never really spoke up about my faith before because I have been away for many years and recently have returned. So now I would feel odd bringing it up now when before I had said nothing of my faith. Now they are Lutheran which a lot of people I hear called “Catholic Light” and I do see a lot of similarities between Catholicism and Lutheranism. My wife’s family is pretty conservative whose ideals and beliefs fall in line with Catholics (i.e. abortion, same-sex marriage, etc…). I would start there. See if there are some basic beliefs that you both share and start a conversation. You might see that you have a lot in common and you might be able to share what your faith and Catholic beliefs mean to you.



LIVE your Catholic faith. Pls don’t discount it in front of anyone. Be proud of it.

I’m Catholic & married to a Protestant. Praise God we’ve never had any issues w/ our religions. He attends a non-dem church. He’s gone to Mass w/ me and I’ve attended services at his church AFTER I’ve attended Mass.

When we pray in the mornings, he recites the Our Father, Hail Mary, Fatima Prayer and Glory Be. He admires my faith and my devotion to Our Blessed Mother. He credits his increasing faith to my GIFT of faith.

My prayers are w/ you.


Thanks a lot for your reply.

I apologise that after a long time i am writing.

i was just trying to be very clear & upfront about my catholic faith infront of my husband.
but somehow it is not working. Whenever I try to share somethig regarding my faith he just leaves the room or changes the topic.

I feel very sad but I have faith. The Lord will hear my prayer.

Pray for me.


Your description indicates that your husband is not open to an open discussion. It is up to God to open his heart. Pray for your husband unceasingly that God will open his heart and live your faith through example, not discussion.

Keep some good books on hand, like Scott Hahn’s Rome Sweet Home, or Francis Beckwith’s “Return to Rome” but don’t ask him to read them. Let him pick them up if and when God prompts him to do so.

I’m married to a protestant, and when we were getting married, I made him go to pre-marital counselling with my Priest. He asked all the questions he wanted, and got very straightforward answers. After we married eight years ago, I didn’t bug him about religion, but I’d let him know why I was doing something if he asked. Last year he started taking his invalid grandmother to Mass, so he was attending about every two weeks. Now he’s thinking of converting.

His mother is not a fan of Catholics. She thinks they are inconvenient (why do you have to go to Mass and be late for my Easter dinner that I’m holding on Good Friday?) and holier-than-thou. She has challenged me on my beliefs many times, and I sometimes do well at answering her, other times I cop out and don’t answer well.

What I think I’m saying is that the best thing you can do is not hassle, but live an example, and increase the example as you feel brave enough. Sometimes it might be scary because you fear the reaction, but it’s often not as bad as you think it will be. I’ve started to say the rosary in the evening with the kids when hubby isn’t home. He doesn’t like the rosary because he doesn’t see how we are sinners. The kids mentioned it to him, and all he did was roll his eyes. I can handle that. Next I might start doing it when he is at home.

I say just follow your beliefs. In my family (brothers, sisters, in-laws, and their offspring) we have a mixture including Catholics, Serbian Eastern Rite Catholics, Protestants, and non-churched. We all simply respect each other and get along great. As far as I know, of the Catholic Protestant marriages, the spouses attend each other’s churches on a regular basis. One family I know describes themselves as Methodist when at their winter home but Catholic at their summer home. (I think this is because of the proximity of the churches - they go to whichever is closer.) There have been some conversions. But in all it is “in omnibus caritas.”

Remind her that Good Friday is a day of fasting, not a day to hold dinner parties. Dinner parties on Good Friday are an insult to Christ!

Put your hard-cover Catholic Catechism right there next to your family bible - in your main room.

Find prayers that he can agree with (Lords Prayer), and say them together, at home, as a family.
The more he LIVES his ‘own’ christian faith, the closer he will be to Christ.


Dear Caroline:

My advice is to live your faith, and not be ashamed in any sense of the word to live it. AND to learn more about it too. can help you do it. What a witness!!! God will use you to be for your in-laws and even your husband! PTL! Praise the Lord! Do you know YOU have the power now to lead them home to the true faith? Well you do. Use it wisely dear one, never let go of your/our Catholic Faith. It will lead them HOME. It willl lead many home. IF they will listen, that’s the crucial point.

Do not ever hesitate to live your Catholic faith amongst your hubby or in-laws. NEVER lose it. Do not be influenced to stop going to our church to go to his. EVER. NEVER stop doing the sign of the cross, at meals, etc. ever. This will be your witness to our faith. Yes, Protestants can be exuberant believers, as can Catholics. BUT, you, girlfriend, never stop being a witness for our Catholic Faith. Now is the time to invite them all to Holy Week.

God Bless~


In addition to what everyone else said, I would suggest you try and get the family involved in some ecumenical non-demoninational ministry. Prison, aged care, kids, whatever. This will demonstrate your love of God and forge a bond. I do the same thing with a prison and food ministry and it works wonders.

Like one of the posters said “When you see that lit up beautiful Catholic face, in love with God … many will say … I want some of what she’s got!” :o:o;)

Stop pretending, stop hiding and be Catholic. Also start getting your self ready emotionally, spiritually and intellectually to defend the faith. If you feel like you have some weak spots brush up on it, in particularly study up on the bible as much as you can. I’d recommend a book like bible proofs for catholic truths for starts. I also recommend listening to the free Mp3’s available at The Bible Christian Society created by EWTN apologist John Martinogi (spelling?) for a good start. And if you don’t have one, you’ll want a copy of the compendium of the catechism of the catholic church

Most especially, keep praying, particularly the rosary. You will need to put on the armor of Christ, in order to defend against being lead astray. Who knows, if you cling tightly to the rock of the See of Peter, you might eventually convert them!

I agree with the many postings that advise you to just live you faith! I have been married for 16 years to a Protestant who is about to be received into the Catholic faith at the Easter Vigil this year after completing RCIA. What a long road it has been for us! I never would have thought he would convert, but the Lord had other plans. Even though there were many times I was not the best example, God still drew my husband closer and closer until he finally realized he was being called to convert.

So, by all means, do not hide or water-down our beautiful faith. I’m not promising anything! But you never know what is in store - hopefully it wont take 16 years, but if it does, this is God’s timing. You can’t convince anyone to become Catholic. But you can become educated enough to answer their questions accurately and with love and let God do the rest.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit