How to engage with Pro-Abortion individuals

I got into what turned into an argument with someone regarding abortion. They immediately went to the case of rape as being an argument for abortion. I was not very charitable to her and feel guilty for how I addressed the scenario of a rape. To me a child did not ask for that scenario to happen so that child should not be given a death sentence for the actions of others. I still feel guilty for how I addressed it. My question is how do you stay calm and charitable when speaking with a pro-abortion person? I have to say that they do initially attack your character when they find out you are pro-life which can cause things to escalate.

Never engage in these things unless it is civil.

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First off, recognize that it’s incredibly hard/virtually impossible to change someones mind via rational argument. Oh sure, on online forums people claim to have this amazing ability to change minds, but it’s all rubbish with no basis in fact.

Second, since abortion is so polarizing, it’s also virtually impossible to discuss it and remain “charitable” and “calm.”

Sometimes it’s best to just chill and not engage at all.

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This is so true


This is true also, specially when you realize that you’re discussing with people condone the cruel killing of innocent children

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Couldn’t agree more. I’m as pro life as they come, I’m just realistic about discussing the issue with people.

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It takes a lot of practice to remain calm in stressful situations.

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Describe them as pro choice as opposed to pro abortion would be a good start in a reasonable discussion.


Pro choice to kill babies?

  1. don’t call them “pro-abortion”.
  2. In heated topics strive for understanding more than winning. Perhaps the issues around the expected low quality of life trumps offer itself in their view? Address that.
  3. Understand that neither of you are evil. You two differ in how to achieve the good.

After talking (one on one) about all kinds of reasons from science to what a murder is in law it is common that the person I am talking with, agrees with everything I say but will end with: “I still think it is OK with abortions.” When I hear that comment or something similar, it is very likely that that person has had an abortion or was the father of an aborted child and needs to justify their own actions and decisions.

And avoid inflamatory statements.


The problem is, that’s wrong.

Pro life people are always for the CHOICE to choose life, not for a CHOICE to choose death.

Pro abortion people are, by definition, as likely to choose death as to choose life.

But people didn’t like hearing the word ‘pro life’. Pro ‘choice’ sounds so kewl and tolerant and righteous, and so that term was forced upon us (like ‘gay’).

You’ll hear howls of how ‘pro life’ people ‘aren’t, or are ‘anti choice’. Meanwhile the smug people who might not ‘have an abortion myself but won’t force MY morals on another’ will consider themselves personally moral, tolerant, and realistic.

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I think that the majority of pro life people (and I have no problem with the term) would actually want to see abortion banned. That is, would like to remove the choice available to women. Whether it’s ‘choose life’ as you say, or choose abortion.

I always ask questions. “I assume you are in favor of mandatory death sentences for every rapist right? Then I go from there. It’s shocking how many people are against the actual assailant’s death but provide some moral argument for the death of the innocent baby.

So what do they tell you that they feel is the difference?

One nuance is that the pro-choice crowd and the pro-life folks both want fewer abortions. Everyone I’ve discussed this with wants fewer abortions. Using a term like pro-abortion suggests an inability to engage in civil dialogue on the topic.

Please correct me @MadeAnew if I’m off base on your approach.


Lots of things. Each person is different. Done might say heck yes they think a rapist should face death, others might say something different. Bottom line it starts conversation. Though I am amazed that some people think pro abortion is a loaded term. It’s strait up accurate.

But what do they say is the difference between executing a criminal and having an abortion? That difference must be the reason they consider one to be acceptable and one not. What do they say that is?

I have found that remembering Luke 23:34 has helped prevent my own heart from being hardened against people who are pro-abortion;

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing”

In the context of the bible Christ is saying this of His executioners while they’re crucifying Him.

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