How To Figure Out..?


I guess it’s a very common question, but…how can you figure out what you’re supposed to do with your life when you have NO clue at all?

I am almost 23 years old, and am currently a yoga instructor and administrator of the yoga studio I work at. After I was done with the International Baccalaureate (after high school), I wanted to study Literature, but when my dad asked me to stop for a second, breathe, and take the time to think whether it was really what I wanted, I realized I wasn’t sure. I took some time to figure things out, and that’s when I found yoga. I kept on practicing yoga, and eventually (after 2 years), I decided to go to school. Signed up for the program of Political Science and Government, greatly influenced by my dad and my ex-boyfriend. Eventually I realized that wasn’t what I wanted, either. I’ve always felt a really strong calling to serve, and I thought I could manipulate Political Science into being the way for me to do that…but it wasn’t. I then decided to change programs, to Philosophy. Eventually I felt something was seriously off with school as a whole, like it wasn’t for me. I started failing every course, and I had already started working at the yoga studio, so I decided to drop out of school (at least momentarily).

I love teaching yoga, I feel in the classes I teach I allow myself to be an instrument for God to spread His message of love. Teaching yoga is something I know I’ll do for the rest of my life… however, I need more. And I don’t know what that is. I thought of Psychology, but that’s not it, either. I thought of becoming a full-time volunteer, but that’s not it. I would love to, but I also want something that might give me financial stability, especially for the future, seeing as I would like to get married and have a family.

What do you do when all you have for certain in your life is a calling to serve and spread, more than God’s message, His love? Has anyone been here before? I want to be able to work with people, to help them however I can, to love them…but I have no clue how to figure out what exactly that means. I feel lost regarding this, and it makes me feel really insecure. My boyfriend is on his way to get a Masters degree, and I’ve got nothing… I feel a lot of pressure, that I put on myself; especially because if there’s the possibility of getting married some years from now, once he’s done with his Masters…well…gosh, I don’t know. I think I really look down on myself (I have a very intellectual side that tortures me for not studying right now) for not having a degree and not even knowing which degree to pursue…or even if I am meant to pursue one!

Has anyone been in this situation before? Please help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated :frowning: Thanks so much in advance. Love and blessings to all!


I worked with a vocational director when I was trying to discern whether or not I had a call to the priesthood and the most useful thing he ever told me was that when discerning God's goals for us we shouldn't be worried about where he wants us years from now, but what he wants of us right now. So my first piece of advice would be to concern yourself with your immediate future, and what direction God wants you to move right now (be that school or something else).

Now if you want ideas as far as education goes, then I would say to go for something that fits your passion of being a Yoga instructor. You could go for something relating to body training/exercise and become a better instructor, or perhaps train up skills in business administration and eventually start your own studio.


Please try two things:

First, if you have a Pastor who is available for conversation, talk your situation over with him. He can ask direct questions which can help you decide.

Second, please take time for a retreat. Not very many people do this, but it gives a seriousness to your quest for "What to do?". You do not need an "organized" retreat, necessarily, but an opportunity to be alone with G-d and ask for direction, perhaps even from the nuns or monks at a local monastery. If available, look for a Benedictine convent and discuss your needs with one of the Sisters when you arrive.

God bless you in your search.


There must be something that interest you.If not just keep on carrying out your daily duties and pray to Jesus for understanding.Alot of times people may not know what to do but they what not to do.Start by trying to stop doing what you knnow you shouldn't do and you may discover what you should do.


In some ways I think this may be like dating. You don't decide who is right for you then go searching for the guy. You date and eventually you fall in love with someone who is right for you. If you don't know what you are looking for, it may be because you have not come across it yet. Be patient with yourself. I agree with PatrickSebast in that I think you should live the life you are currently living well. Pray, pray, pray. Seek guidance from spiritual director. Love always.


I have been there before! I thought I had my life all figured out, and even went to graduate school and ended up doing what I had set out to do. For the first few months I was happy and content, and then I realized that this was not what I was supposed to be doing. All that time and lots of money later, I freaked out because I felt like it was too late to make a change. Not only that, but I had no idea what to make a change to, I just knew I needed to.

This sounds kind of cheesy, but I got a lot of ideas from the book What Color is Your Parachute? One thing that stuck with me was to listen to what other people say you are good at. Oftentimes the people who know you best will have insight into your gifts that you may not realize yourself. You can even ask your friends and family what kind of career they thought you’d have.

In my case, growing up everyone always thought I would be a nurse. I never had any interest. My friends who were nurses even thought I should be in their program. I said no way. Then, over the past few years I noticed myself becoming more interested in medicine. When something would happen to a family member or myself, I wondered how and why it was happening. I did a lot of reading and became more and more absorbed. I thought, hmm, maybe I’ll take a class or two. So I did, and I loved them. So, now I am leaving my job and going to nursing school. And I feel a sense of peace that I never felt before.

I often wonder if I had listened to God before, instead of myself, whether I would have wasted so much time and money to still end up in the same place. Then again, if I hadn’t been in the program I was in before, I never would have met my fiance. It doesn’t matter now anyway, but my advice is to pray and be open to anything God might be calling you to do, because it might not be what you expect. Pay attention to what your talents are and think about what people say your best qualities are.

Another thing to consider is that we don’t always get to do exactly what we want to do. Especially if you plan to be married one day, you may find yourself at home with children, or working at a job you hate to make ends meet. We can be called to do different things at different times in our lives. We can strive to be doing something we love, but always have to be open to do what we need to do even if it’s not what we’d like for a period of time.

You are still young. You’re in a good place in your life to figure all of this out. I wish you the best. :slight_smile:


Thanks so much to EVERYONE! This is all fantastic advice, and I'm so grateful for all of your input. While it still feels like a tough place to be, I'm trying to put to practice everything I've been suggested here.

"Trust, Surrender, Believe, Receive" is something I try to live by...and I think it applies perfectly to what I'm going through now. I have to keep praying, having faith, and most definitely have to keep putting effort into what I'm doing TODAY (which is something I hadn't actually noticed until I read some of the comments here!)

Thanks so much, I am eternally grateful :) And for anyone who's going through the same thing I am, I found this: Really helpful article. I shall keep on persevering to trust the Lord and know that I am exactly where He wants me to be at this precise moment :)


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