How to Find/Choose a Spiritual Advisor

I’m a new Catholic and I have so many questions. My husband is a cradle Catholic and he said he learned more in RCIA with me, than he ever knew before … and when I ask him a question, he doesn’t know. He’s interested, and we search through the Catechism but often I can’t find the answers.

I’ve heard someone speak of a “spiritual advisor”. Is that something common? Would that be appropriate for me? I feel like I have so many questions and need help with trying to strengthen my faith and learning not just the how but the why of this amazing Catholic Church.

If this is appropriate, could I ask a deacon? Would that be weird for me to approach him about that?

If that’s all right, do I pay him? Give him an annual gift?

What else should I know about this?

Here’s a good article that may help.

That’s a great article; thanks for making me aware of that website!:slight_smile:

Here is another website that may be of help.

Borrowing from AA

This resource defines a similar relationship. I’ve found it valuable when someone ask for directions.
As for a SD, it is important for me to set forth the relationship. I’ve found men work with men, and women with women unless there is a complication of SSA- then reverse the genders.

Your post is timely. I’m looking for a new director since mine is 85 years old and is nearing his end. It is dangerous to go it alone in spiritual matters and a good SD is a valued resource, a trusted adviser and one that remains detached from my life so as to aid me to objectively see the nudgings of my daily life.

It would be fine to ask your deacon for spiritual direction but don’t be disappointed if he says no. Good spiritual directors are in high demand and sometimes it is difficult to get an appointment with one.

It sounds like you just became Catholic. Are your questions more about specific teachings of the faith or are you interested in establishing a daily routine of prayer and habits which will help you grow in your spiritual life?

When someone first becomes Catholic there is typically a period sort of like a honeymoon. Everything is new and exciting and you want to learn as much as possible, which is a good thing. As time progresses, things will calm down a bit, and you will begin to feel more settled in the faith.

A spiritual director may prefer to meet with you after things have settled a bit.

I would recommend that you read the book Navigating the Interior Life, by Dan Burke.

It contains an excellent description of spiritual direction and a chapter on how to discern if you are ready for spiritual direction.

Does your parish have an adult faith formation program? Become involved with that and take some classes.

Welcome to the Church!

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