I’m hopeful even though I’m not in a state of grace, because I see God giving me the graces I need to very slowly make progress and eventually eliminate sexual impurity from my life. What I want to do though is really look at why I sin. How can I do this? What forms of meditation or prayer would help? Anyone have experiences or suggestions? Rosary? Divine Mercy? Thanks!
You (we) sin because satan whispers those little annoying words in our ears, gets our mind moving in that direction until our sinful natures take over, then, if we don’t head it off right there - we fall. It’s especially hard when we already have an inclination (habit) to do so. He’s not stupid (Satan) he attacks us at our weakest point, and when we are weakest. He’s had millenia to perfect his deception and lies - we’ve only had our lives up to this point.
I’ve found that the Rosary helps tremendously. Pray it daily - twice if you feel the need. Then, when those thoughts creep in - and they will, pray the ‘Hail Mary’ over and over until it passes. It’s very hard to be lustful or tempted, when your focus is Our Blessed Mother! I got to a point where it was a constant thing in the back of my mind. Kinda like actually praying the Rosary - the Hail Mary’s are going on while another part of your mind is focusing on the mysteries.
Don’t give up - God isn’t. Our Blessed Mother won’t either. She is here for our needs. Her intercessions, especially with the Rosary, are filled with promises and blessings for us to take advantage of.
I’ll Pray for you
Is it really a mystery why you commit sins of impurity? It’s the thrill of sexual excitement and the powerful pleasure of the orgasm followed by the satisfaction of sexual release. It doesn’t take much scrutiny to know what the reasons are. :shrug: The reasons are obvious. What you need to do is say NO to sins of the flesh no matter how seductively Satan dangles the carrot of forbidden lust in front of you. It’s refusing to be bribed with the promise of pleasure in order to do what is right.
And don’t forge that the temptation is not a sin - even Jesus was tempted. So if the thoughts come to you, but you do not engage in them or do not act on them - you are not sinning
If not in a state of Grace but in a state of mortal sin, you must go to Confession as soon as you can (I have not looked at your profile and am assuming for this whole Post you are Catholic). This is the very first and most important step as there is no real growth further until that first step is taken.
The second step in avoiding sin and discovering the root of one’s sinfulness is to desire it. The third step is to pray for it. The Lord will take care of the rest - His Time and in His Way…this can come in many ways - perhaps a homily or talk you hear, some book that you read, perhaps a thread on CAF…perhaps something someone says to you. In all and any sort of way. But as long as you hold to your good desire and ask the gift from The Lord, it will happen…and be constant (faithful) in your good desires and in your prayer. These good dispositions ask the foundation of the state of Grace and freedom from mortal sin - that The Holy Spirit will be present in your soul working for your sanctification.
Examination of consceince and contemplation of Jesus Christ work
Hi again SK…Just drawing your attention to what the CCC has to say on the subject of mortal sin, or not being in the state of Grace (and only mortal sin can do this)…especially the quote below. I did have a look at your profile and I dont really understand your Faith Profession (my fault due to culpable ignorance!). I would be gravely remiss and an offence against charity and fraternal love if you are Catholic to not stress your serious current position (outside the state of Grace), if indeed this is the actuality and only you can answer this and you may need the advice of a priest to help you discern your actual position. Grave matter alone is not mortal sin…and often though grave matter may be present, there is constraint on the will which means that full consent is lacking - hence not mortally sinful. If in doubt, I head for the Confessional:thumbsup:
Presupposing you are not in the state of Grace and not going to Confession, this could well be the reason you have difficulty getting at the why of sin…or your motivation. Certainly I have had a habit of sin I found very hard to break and only continually confessing along with heartfelt prayer and a lively desire to overcome my failing brought success of God’s gift.
See l860 below: “The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.”
1854 Sins are rightly evaluated according to their gravity. The distinction between mortal and venial sin, already evident in Scripture,129 became part of the tradition of the Church. It is corroborated by human experience.
1855 Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude,
by preferring an inferior good to him.
Venial sin allows charity to subsist, even though it offends and wounds it.
1856 Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us - that is, charity - necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the sacrament of reconciliation:
When the will sets itself upon something that is of its nature incompatible with the charity that orients man toward his ultimate end, then the sin is mortal by its very object . . . whether it contradicts the love of God, such as blasphemy or perjury, or the love of neighbor, such as homicide or adultery. . . . But when the sinner’s will is set upon something that of its nature involves a disorder, but is not opposed to the love of God and neighbor, such as thoughtless chatter or immoderate laughter and the like, such sins are venial.130
1857 For a *sin *to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent."131
1858 Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: "Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and your mother."132 The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger.
1859 Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart133 do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.
1860 Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man.
The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.
1861 Mortal sin is a radical possibility of human freedom, as is love itself.
It results in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back
. However, although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.
We sin because we are sinners.
But Jesus loves sinners.
I’d suggest that you keep praying the Rosary (one ore more decade per day if you could) and living your life out fully consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Our Blessed Mother. Ask Her to allow your heart near Her Immaculate Heart. Give your heart to Her so that She would protect your heart from stain of impurity.
The following is this prayer by St. Thomas Aquinas. The prayer and the Rosary have helped me very much.
See his story about him keeping purity and chastity:
Prayer for Chastity
[by St. Thomas Aquinas]
I know well that every perfect gift,
and above all others that of chastity,
depends upon the most powerful assistance of your providence,
and that without you a creature can do nothing.
Therefore, I pray that you defend, with your grace,
the gift of chastity and purity in my soul as well as in my body.
And if I have ever received through my senses any impression
that could stain my chastity and purity,
I ask you, who are the supreme Lord of all my powers,
to take it from me, so that I may with a clean heart
advance in your love and service,
offering myself chaste all the days of my life
on the most pure altar of your divinity.
Why this is, I will never know.
Thank you! Perfect! Amen!
Me neither! It has nothing to do with us. God is love. He can only love, even those wretched souls like mine.
Amen! I use this prayer every night, and it is very powerful. So far, I have realized this prayer has helped me a lot in not having bad and weird dreams.
Wretched would be an understatement for the state my soul is probably in right now
Originally Posted by bpbasilphx
But Jesus loves sinners.
Because He sees past the sin and sees the image of His Father underneath, waiting to shine forth!
God is merciful.
Sexuality is a gift from God, as we read in the book of Genesis.
It is meant to be shared, a physical expression of our love and concern for a member of the opposite sex with whom we have made a life-long commitment through marriage and is open to the possibility of procreation.
There is a sharp distinction between “making love” and “having sex.” The former constitutes the wise use of the gift of sexuality, whereas the latter falls short of this ideal.
Masturbation is self-directed. As such, is a distortion of human sexuality.
By nature, it is incapable of expressing love and concern for an other person. It is also incapable of the possibility of procreation, in fulfillment of our Creator’s injunction to “be fruitful and multiply.”
Since it “misses the mark” of the wise use of the gift of sexuality, it is considered sinful. This is especially so in cases in which masturbation becomes an addiction.
*Mother Angelica would tell you that the founder of their Order (the Poor Clare Nuns)->St. Francis (of Assisi) would roll in thorns (brambles?) when he had certain urges that he wanted to put away…so even the Saints were tempted.