How to get a girlfriend?


#1

Hi. I'm 34 and to be honest, I've never dated or nothing like that.

I live in a area that's mixed=city with suburbs. And I DO NOT do online dating!!!

I've been reading some stuff by Jason Evert at Chastity.com but that advice he gives might be for young people though....

And I just recently started to take my Catholic faith very seriously=sacramental life, prayer life, etc etc....

So will I just meet a nice/good Catholic woman there at m parish or something like that?

Or what should I do?


#2

IMO, you don't need to do anything special. Keep trying to grow spiritually and keep your eyes fixed on the Lord. At the same time, be open-minded, social, active, outgoing....Just live your life to the fullest. You would find your wife along the way if God so wills.

PS1: You might not get to meet a lot of Catholics along the line but never forget that you can evangelise someone. It's actually something we Christians are called to do.

PS2: Also keep praying to the Lord for this as you are doing on the other thread I just noticed.


#3

You still qualify as youngish by most standards. You probably have several Catholic churches in your area. At least one of them probably has a young singles group. Join it and socialize. Maybe no one there will appeal to you, but they may have friends, sisters, etc. that you will get to know as your relationship with the group grows. All those little old blue-haired ladies at mass have daughters and grand-daughters. Smile at them. Be nice to them and help them out in small ways. When they note what a great guy you are, the ladies will come out of the woodwork.

Anyway, that's how my brother found his wife when he was about your age. He seems happy and got a wonderful young daughter in the bargain.


#4

Try online dating. I know you don't "do" it, but maybe you should, since it's a great way to meet people and you haven't had any success in the past


#5

[quote="jason3477, post:1, topic:249029"]
Hi. I'm 34 and to be honest, I've never dated or nothing like that.

I live in a area that's mixed=city with suburbs. And I DO NOT do online dating!!!

I've been reading some stuff by Jason Evert at Chastity.com but that advice he gives might be for young people though....

And I just recently started to take my Catholic faith very seriously=sacramental life, prayer life, etc etc....

So will I just meet a nice/good Catholic woman there at m parish or something like that?

Or what should I do?

[/quote]

Sign up for a few classes at USD or John Paul the Great University.


#6

[quote="jason3477, post:1, topic:249029"]
Hi. I'm 34 and to be honest, I've never dated or nothing like that.

I live in a area that's mixed=city with suburbs. And I DO NOT do online dating!!!

I've been reading some stuff by Jason Evert at Chastity.com but that advice he gives might be for young people though....

And I just recently started to take my Catholic faith very seriously=sacramental life, prayer life, etc etc....

So will I just meet a nice/good Catholic woman there at m parish or something like that?

Or what should I do?

[/quote]

Do you desire a girlfriend and future wife, or are you perhaps called to the single vocation?


#7

[quote="jason3477, post:1, topic:249029"]
Hi. I'm 34 and to be honest, I've never dated or nothing like that.

I live in a area that's mixed=city with suburbs. And I DO NOT do online dating!!!

I've been reading some stuff by Jason Evert at Chastity.com but that advice he gives might be for young people though....

And I just recently started to take my Catholic faith very seriously=sacramental life, prayer life, etc etc....

So will I just meet a nice/good Catholic woman there at m parish or something like that?

Or what should I do?

[/quote]

What's the issue with using an online dating service? There are several Catholic ones, you know.


#8

I met my guy online and I couldn't dream for a better man.


#9

1) Be happy. If your not happy, fake it.
2) Be nice and pleasant.
3) Be a gentlemen.

If your those three, and you still can't find a girlfriend, you'll be the first person I will have heard of to not find one.

It's not brain surgery.

Then again, maybe I'm just super charismatic and lovable. :cool:


#10

[quote="Rascalking, post:9, topic:249029"]
1) Be happy. If your not happy, fake it.
2) Be nice and pleasant.
3) Be a gentlemen.

If your those three, and you still can't find a girlfriend, you'll be the first person I will have heard of to not find one.

It's not brain surgery.

Then again, maybe I'm just super charismatic and lovable. :cool:

[/quote]

:rolleyes: Uh huh.

In all seriousness, OP, you've received some good advice. While you might give internet dating a try at some point in time, do always exercise caution and good common sense!


#11

Get out there and get involved both in parish life and elsewhere. Volunteer. Get the word out to your friends and family that you'd be willing to be fixed up.


#12

[quote="Rascalking, post:9, topic:249029"]
1) Be happy. If your not happy, fake it.
2) Be nice and pleasant.
3) Be a gentlemen.

If your those three, and you still can't find a girlfriend, you'll be the first person I will have heard of to not find one.

It's not brain surgery.

Then again, maybe I'm just super charismatic and lovable. :cool:

[/quote]

LOL

That's pretty basic. None of those items actually help with meeting people. I'm all 3 of those and have never had a girlfriend.


#13

[quote="Bataar, post:12, topic:249029"]
LOL

That's pretty basic. None of those items actually help with meeting people. I'm all 3 of those and have never had a girlfriend.

[/quote]

I stand by what I said, 100 percent. Virtually all the people I know who are like that can find women/men to date. Most of the people I know who are single are grumpy, unpleasant, sad, and miserable.

Key word-MOST. You may be the exception. If you are, I have some single lady friends who are desperate to meet men!


#14

[quote="jason3477, post:1, topic:249029"]
Hi. I'm 34 and to be honest, I've never dated or nothing like that.

I live in a area that's mixed=city with suburbs. And I DO NOT do online dating!!!

I've been reading some stuff by Jason Evert at Chastity.com but that advice he gives might be for young people though....

And I just recently started to take my Catholic faith very seriously=sacramental life, prayer life, etc etc....

So will I just meet a nice/good Catholic woman there at m parish or something like that?

Or what should I do?

[/quote]

Look around at mass and introduce yourself to people. Be friendly and try out some parish activies. See if there is a local catholic singles group you can join.....those are usually packed with ladies. For some reason ladies are more willing to get out there and join groups then men are so the men have the advantage when it comes to numbers. Maybe start a group if one doesn't exist. I can't guarantee you'll meet someone if you do these things but your chances are much better if you do. Also if you see a lady at your parish you are interested in start a friendly conversation and if she single ASK HER OUT. Don't expect her to make the first move like many guys seem to expect these days. Good luck.


#15

I met my wonderful Catholic husband on Ave Maria Singles. :thumbsup:

KG


#16

I am a few years old than the OP and haven't had much luck in the dating scene either. But if God wants me to be single as my vocation, it will happen otherwise I hope to find a Catholic spouse.

Its hard to tell people's ages and if they are married/not married when going to Mass. I just wish there were more church activities aimed not just for the 20's/young 30's but those beyond the mid 30's who are single, working, educated, & desiring to meet not only friends but perhaps someday find their spouse.


#17

Wow. thanks for all the replies and keep them comming!!!

But tell me, is our culture here in the USA anti-marriage now?

I kind of think it is.

I mean a lot of my peers only want FWB-friends with benefits. I think a lot of my peers including myself are really scared of marriage and/or a serious/committed relationship becasue of what we saw our parents go through-divorce, etc etc.....

Or what do you all think?


#18

[quote="Rascalking, post:13, topic:249029"]
I stand by what I said, 100 percent. Virtually all the people I know who are like that can find women/men to date. Most of the people I know who are single are grumpy, unpleasant, sad, and miserable.

Key word-MOST. You may be the exception. If you are, I have some single lady friends who are desperate to meet men!

[/quote]

Are they desperate because they are grumpy, unpleasant, sad, and miserable?

How can you tell this person these things with a straight face?

OP, my simple advice to you is this.

Instead of worrying about how to "get a girlfriend"
Worry about your future daughter if your God wills it.

Ask yourself what you would want for her in a husband.

Be the guy that fathers of daughters would approve of.

Be the guy that is a part of the community. Be responsible, be active and get out there. Don't limit yourself to only people in Christianity. You can change a heart with love. People claim this here. And if it is not true, at least your Church will allow for marriage in circumstances...


#19

[quote="MissRose73, post:16, topic:249029"]
I am a few years old than the OP and haven't had much luck in the dating scene either. But if God wants me to be single as my vocation, it will happen otherwise I hope to find a Catholic spouse.

Its hard to tell people's ages and if they are married/not married when going to Mass. I just wish there were more church activities aimed not just for the 20's/young 30's but those beyond the mid 30's who are single, working, educated, & desiring to meet not only friends but perhaps someday find their spouse.

[/quote]

I agree with you. Most of the 30 something groups I know are inside the Evangelical churches. I attend my old one whenever I can. I also believe if there is a place where something lacks, why don't you try to organize something in your area. You mentioned that there wasn't anything for the 30 something population so why don't you start a 30 something young adult group? If you met after mass a couple of times a month, with activities that are fun and spiritual enriching, people will come. If there aren't many young people inside your parish, partner up with several parishes or even a mainline protestant church such as Anglican or Presbyterian and develop an inter parish or interdenominational young people's group. Three churches in Montreal did that over forty years ago, minus the Catholic church and my parents met through that group. My parents are from two different Christian denominations. Hint, want to get young people to attend, use food as the ultimatum. Food plus good publicity will entice people to stay after mass.

As the new ministry develops, it also might be your worthwhile to check out Singles for Christ. It is a ministry of Couples for Christ. It is a charistmatic Catholic group but the people I know are some of the kindest, good hearted, religious people you will ever meet. I belong to my local chapter and it's pretty cool. It's an international organization if there isn't one in your country, you can also call them up ask them how one would go upon creating a group in your area. Google Singles for Christ plus your country or Couple for Christ and then contact them, someone will help you get connected with a local chapter.

My philosophy is: if you see a need in your community, pray, soak it with prayer and do something about it by starting something. If all of us did this inside our local parishes, the young adult population will grow and many will return. If you don't believe me, visit any church both Protestant and Catholic: those who have some sort of group for its young people tend to have more young people inside the pews.

If you have questions about how to start something up, email me and I will help you.I've been to a bunch over the years. My groups have helped me grow in my faith tremendously.


#20

I'm gonna suggest something different.

**Then Samuel asked Jesse, "Are these all the sons you have?" Jesse replied, "There is still the youngest, who is tending the sheep." Samuel said to Jesse, "Send for him; we will not begin the sacrificial banquet until he arrives here." Jesse sent and had the young man brought to them. He was ruddy, a youth handsome to behold and making a splendid appearance. The LORD said, "There-anoint him, for this is he!" Then Samuel, with the horn of oil in hand, anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and from that day on, the spirit of the LORD rushed upon David.* (1 Samuel 16:11-13)*

David was attending to his duty. Responsible for the herds, he attended to the sheep while everyone else was at a banquet hoping to become king. David was humble, and worked in the place where God had put him, tending to the things which God gave him responsibility over, not worrying about getting ahead or becoming king. And that was when God called him, and anointed him.

All through the Bible, people who are in the midst of working, doing their duty, and taking care of their families and responsibilities are called by God. Jesus called Peter and Andrew while they were fishing. Jesus called James and John while they were mending nets. Jacob won his love Rachel in Genesis 30 by working dillegently for fourteen years.

Do the same and God will call you. Keep your head down, do your job well, obey the law, pay your taxes on time, exercise and stay healthy, honor your mother and father, feed the poor, never fight with anyone, love the Lord God with all your heart, mind and strength, and go to Mass and confession as often as you can - God will call you. It may not be to a a girlfriend, but he will call you.

-Tim-


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