Amen, Amen, Amen!!!
At the moment I too am suffering from depression and anxiety so I have a small Idea of what you are going through. I am at present reading ‘The Diary of St Faustina’ and I hope that these two quotes from the diary may be of help to you;
‘Jesus, save me; You see how weak I am!’,
‘O my God, my only hope, I have placed all my trust in you, and I know I will not be disappointed.’
Our Lord will help you, but you have to learn to place your trust in him. Things may not resolve themselves or happen immediatley but you will be helped
I had ( & still have) been struggling with this same issue. Seems like everywhere we turn someone is always trying to “get the best of us”: family, “friends”, businesses, etc. No matter the issue, someone is in the way to trip us up, accuse us of something hideous, take away our means of making a living, etc.
As all of this is going on, I too, asked the question “how do you pray for your enemies, when what you really want to pray for is plagues and lightning bolts?” I was praying for God to show us what we were doing wrong, to make all these people turn on us! I asked for God’s will to be done in our dealings with the evil actions of these people. Well, my protestant friend looked at me like I had two heads when I told her this but… one day I had the “thought”: who says this is all YOUR test? What if YOU are the means of ME testing THOSE people? When I looked at our situation from that perspective it was easier to pray for those who were acting against us. What if your suffering and hardships at the hands of others is your chance to serve God - to be a vessel of intervention in the lives of other people? Wouldn’t this be more of a blessing than a curse? Wow, to think God would use me in that way!!! I know if this is the case, He will give me the Grace of Faith and Trust to allow Him to do His will through my life and he will reward me greatly! God is GREAT!
Am I just making assumptions? Am I trying to justify the outcomes in my life? I don’t know. But I do know that anytime I ask God to teach me something - such as “Lord, teach me to have more patience”…sometimes I don’t necessarily like his teaching methods :rolleyes: but they can sure be effective! Any opportunity presented to us to grow is an opportunity to embrace God’s love! Pray for guidance and grace!
You brought back some memories for me. I felt the same way you are right now, the inward pain hurt so much and I prayed and prayed and I tried & tried to let go. But, I think I was praying wrong…I wanted them to “see” what they did, I wanted an apology. I wanted my dignity back. Well, I don’t know if they ever “saw” what they did, I didn’t get the apology either or the other things I asked for…but God did restore my dignity. One day as I was struggling through this pain that seemed to never end, the answer I received was to give it to Me, meaning Jesus. Give it to Him as best you can and if you take it back, give it back to Him again. You are doing the right thing by praying, try to stop the tape inside your head from replaying itself over & over again. When my mind starts going where it shouldn’t I use imagery of a traffic cop w/a stop sign, a whistle, and white gloves. I hear the whistle, I see the stop sign & the cop with his hand up…STOP!
By the way, today I am glad that I didn’t get everything I prayed for…the answers to my prayers were different and so much better! Hang in there Scoob, I promise it will get better if you keep trying. Sometimes God allows the weight of the cross to crush us because it is the only way to get us to come closer to Him. He has something better waiting for you…something that no human being can give you.
Hello I am trying and I got an email from the place and still they are not doing what I hoped they would do . So the wound is open again and I have had it. Jesus gave me a WAY more than I can handle and I have had enough. I wish Jesus would take me tonight in my sleep I am so so so ready to go. I give up. Scoob
Don’t give up yet! There is something happening or you wouldn’t still be here. If God took you tonight, what would you say to Him? Think about that. No matter how bad our life gets and it does get bad. Your faith will get you through.
I am living withmy family and it is slowly sapping my spirit. I cannot move right now. Three months ago I took an overdose in weakness. I thought that I had no way out and God was being unfair. I prayed for a miracle. I am still here and the circumstances are mostly the same. What has changed is my attitude towards God. I am not sure what His plan is for me, I do know that my dependence on Him has grown stronger. My sister and I will always fight and this is her house and her rules. It has made me more humble. I am at peace with living here, no I am not happy about it. I just realized that I was given a chance to grow closer than I thought ever imaginable to my God!
It is not about what we want, it is about what He wants. Letting doubts about your faith bring you down is the devil’s work. Don’t let him win!! He will tell you so many lies that you will begin to believe them yourself. This will eat at your faith. Please don’t be rash in any decisions about God. Just keep hanging on there and stay with us here. Many people are praying for you and our prayers will not be in vain. God loves you way to much just to let you go quietly. The trial you are going through will end, only God knows when. Keep the Faith!
You are in my prayers and will stay there indefintely.
I’m praying for you too, Scoob. Hang on!
I thank you all for your prayers and I mean it… It means the world to me, but I honestly don’t know how much longer I can hold on to this misery. I know God is there that is why I am so ANGRY with him… I know that Jesus is the king and all. I just need a miracle and I feel like I am twisting in the wind. I need as many prayers as I can get… This sucks and the pain is too much right now. It is just unbearable. Thanks Scoob.
Please read the following from the Diary of St Faustina…
One day, one of the Mothers (probably Mother Jane) poured out so much of her anger on me and humiliated me so much that I thought I would not be able to endure it. She said to me, “You queer, hysterical visionary, get out of this room; go on with you Sister!” She continued to pour out upon my head everything she could think of. When I got to my cell, I fell on my face before the cross, and then looked at Jesus; but I could no longer say a single word. Yet I concealed everything from the others and pretended that nothing had happened between us.
Satan always takes advantage of such moments; thoughts of discouragement began to rise to the surface - for your faithfulness and sincerity - this is your reward. How can one be sincere when one is so misunderstood? Jesus, Jesus, I cannot go on any longer. Again I fell to the ground under this weight, and I broke out in a sweat, and fear began to overcome me. I had no one to lean on interiorly. Suddenly I heard a voice within my soul, “Do not fear; I am with you”. And an unusual light illumined my mind, and I understood that I should not give in to such sorrows. I was filled with a certain strength and left my cell with new courage to suffer.
We have all gone through suffering to some degree as yours. Saints get double doses of it
We have to lean on God and only God. He is our rock and strength. He will get you through!
Hello all. Thanks for all your PMs responses and prayers. Things are still terrible and all but just want to let you all know that I am very thankful for your kindness. I am still furious at God and I think that I am going on a hunger strike till he answers me. I am not taking this one laying down. I see absolutely no good from this. So if I don’t get a good answer from this company by Sunday (they gave me the rejection letter Easter Sunday at 7:00 PM That is when I expect a resurrection (as the priest talked about) of my dream by then this Sunday or I am going on a hunger strike.
Have any of you been to that point??? Thanks Scoob.
Throughout much of my life, I have felt as you do. Not always with the same intensity, but at times I did. I can go on seemingly forever about specific examples, but I won’t. Let’s just say that I have been cheated in life absolutely. It has happened in work, business, even competitive sports. In my younger years, as a lector in my parish, and working with and living amongst gangs, I learned that anger, and despair causes us to stray away from God, making it easier for us to sin. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how true this is, and so we have to always be on our guard against succumbing to these negative emotions, as they always make things worse.
I’ve learned that the purpose of our faith is to perfect love. That alone is a difficult and livelong goal, but the best goal possible. I’ve heard it said that the source of all creation is love. First Corinthians, 13 tells us that love is the greatest gift of all. I suggest that you read that. Armed with love, I have lived my life passionately, and more than just merely survived my trials and tribulations. I believe that by living in love, and constantly expressing love, either through compassion, or grace, we change the world around us. It certainly will never hurt. For sure, when we allow ourselves to be driven by hatred, envy, pride, or self-pity, we become our own worste enemy. Don’t do it.
Please try to understand that very often, the miracle happens when we change our attitude about the problem. Usually that means changing our perspective. For instance, sometimes we aren’t putting something in thier proper perspective when we give it greater value than it warrents. This is particularly true when our pride overshaddows reason. On several occassions, when a strong negative motivator was fear, I reached a point of extreme frustration and hopelessness. For me, the miracle happened when I finally just let go, and put my fate in Gods hands. This is not the same thing as giving up, it’s about acceptance. So much of our misery comes from the fact that we simply will not allow ourselves to accept things. It is said that the secret to happiness is to not have expectations. This is what happens when we accept things.
I believe that the answer lies within YOU. God lies within YOU. As someone above mentioned, what you need is quiet, internal quiet. Let go of your demands and you will find what you need. That is what God will provide you.
Take care, and God bless
There was a time when I was so depressed and afraid of dying that I attempted to do myself in and actually thought I had died and gone to Hell. That’s about as low as I’ve even been. I can’t imagine I could get any more depressed than that !
BUT I survived and I learn a huge lesson from that experience. When you are depressed or under great stress your thinking gets very muddled. Combine the anxiety with lack of sleep and you get a very dangerous mix. You sound like you are close to that point so I would be very careful about what and how you are thinking now. Get some help, consult friends and/or a professional.
You can’t bribe or coax God to grant you a miracle. Miracles comes with faith and humility. When we try to corner God into doing our will, we are not being humble but we are showing pride and arrogance. The few times when God has answered my most wanted miracles are when I believed and accepted the fact that it was in God’s hand that failure was and could be the final outcome, yet I believed that God would answer as I hoped He would, and believed that He had already replied yes… The greatest miracle workers showed great humility and great confidence that God would and already had answered their request.
Scoob, I’m really very sorry you have to go through such suffering, right now. However, please consider this. Jesus said, “I came not to do my will, but the will of Him who sent me.” All Christians are called to live the same way. Our purpose, our great goal, should be not to make God do what we want but should instead be to surrender to whatever He wants. For it is in surrendering to Jesus that we open ourselves for His life to flow into us and consume us. In surrender to God’s will, also, ultimately is peace. Not in getting what we want. Is God’s will being done what you want?
Hello I agree that I need more humility and long suffering. I was just blindsided with this negative situation. I have had so many disappointments and so many times I take it on the chin and turn the other cheek and let me get slapped there too. But after a while when everything you try to do turns to garbage you finally get to a point where enough is enough. Seeing a professional is not going to grant me this miracle and a professional is not going to make God do what I so long him to do. I am not bothering my friends because I don’t want to be negative and bring them down to my misery. This is God’s problem that I am putting on his capable shoulders and I direct all my anger at him, he is a big guy he can take it. I have done that by talking to priests and talking to Jesus in private while driving to work or places. I have another job interview and hope this time God will help me and let me have my day. I agree with all of you and I need help from a professional and the only professional that can fill the void in my heart and soul and also “fix me” is the one that made me. I love all of you who wrote me back on this thread. Please all of you don’t lose patience with me pray for me. God Bless Scoob.
May God guide you and protect you.
When you see only one set of foot prints in the sand its because our GOD is carrying you and we can’t see that the burden were carrying is also being carried at the same instant by the one with infinite Love, Mercy, and Compassion for us whom we call our Savior and Redeemer. It hurts me reading your comment and I will keep you in my daily prayers because I know that God does work in mysterious ways and when we least expect it but he has already helped you in what you may think is no help at all or in a very minute manner but now I have the privilage to pray for someone that is going through what many if not all of us go through once , twice or more times during our life and God never abandones us.
ScoobyDoo, God Loves you and I mean all three, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit and your Mother Mary the Queen of Heaven and Earth also Loves you very much and they feel your pain anguish and desperation and I can also feel your hurt. I will also included you in my nightly prayers but please don’t lose faith, Your no ones personal puching bag especially not God’s.
I am convinced that God answers our prayers on His own schedule. It may not be as immediate as we initially want but I have yet to be disappointed. In every instance, my requests have turned out much better than expected. Often times the results were delayed or not as soon as I would have liked but overall the results have been better in the long run.
When I was looking for a new job (after suffering through a couple of miserable ones), I found the ideal position close to home and with a pay raise to book, and a boss that was ideal.
When I was looking for a spouse, I went through some initial heartache, but meet my ideal soul mate. When we had trouble having kids initally, we were blessed 6 years later (we were just about ready to adopt) with a terrific son, followed by a beautiful daughter, and then a third great child. They have all been far better than anything we could have ever hoped for.
It is always on God’s schedule. It is with just a little bit of faith that we must be confident that God will answer our prayers with the most optimal response. I like to think of it as with children. When kids whine and pout with their immediate demands, they become spoiled brats, when things are given to them right away. But when they are forced to wait and develop patience and learn to ask more politely, they turn out much better for the experience.
We want and demand things on our own schedule and on our own terms, but it may be that those demands are unreasonable. There may be lessons that we need to learn or what are asking is not God’s will but solely our own. It may simply be that God is trying to teach us to accept disappointment and heart ache or failure.
The person who always gets anything and everything they want immediately and on demand usually ends up being a very spoiled obnoxious person in the long run.