I’ve posted on here before about this issue, but as time goes on (we’ve now been married eight years) the problem gets worse. I have been abstinent through no choice of my own for most of this year. I’m 31. My husband is due to see a doctor very soon but I’ve been reassured by the doctor that it is ‘unlikely’ to be a physical problem as he’s young (just turned 30, but has been like this since I’ve known him at 17).
I am trying to come to terms with the very likely possibility that my husband will not have a medical problem (Which is a good thing I do know!!) that is causing his low libido but a psychological one. I have tried to talk to him, he assures me he feels fine, but if I’m honest I think he feels upset that I want sex because it reminds him that he doesn’t meet my needs. I don’t know what else to say to him, but it’s true! He doesn’t. A counsellor has said to me that if he won’t open up there is little she can do. (He doesn’t want to see a counsellor.)
Has anybody here been in a similar situation and has successfully managed to use strategies to cope in this kind of marriage? I do not want to leave my husband - he is a good father and I cannot ever, ever contribute to creating a broken home. I want to cope with it and I also want to be happy but am really really struggling right now. I feel so lonely and unwanted as a woman. I feel as sexual as a tablecloth. (First inanimate object I could think of…)
Thank you in advance.