How to get over the pity party

having a major pity party because nothin in my life is goin the way i planned or would like. for one thing, I need a job to support my two children and every opportunity fails. I know other people have it way worse than i do and i should be grateful for what i do have and i should rely on God’s way and not mine, but the pain of it all and the disappointments are real. i’m a decent human being, go to church, pray, honest, hardworking, good morals and values. When i see people who are the total opposite getting everything or having everything work out for them it hurts.
thanks for “listening” to my whiny babble.

Jesus was perfectly innocent. Look what they did to Him.
And look at what He did for us.

Praying from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Short reading 1 Corinthians 2:7-10 ©
The hidden wisdom of God which we teach in our mysteries is the wisdom that God predestined to be for our glory before the ages began. It is a wisdom that none of the masters of this age have ever known, or they would not have crucified the Lord of Glory; we teach what scripture calls: the things that no eye has seen and no ear has heard, things beyond the mind of man, all that God has prepared for those who love him. These are the very things that God has revealed to us through the Spirit.

Short Responsory
Christ died for our sins, to offer us to God.
– Christ died for our sins, to offer us to God.
He died in the flesh but came to life in the Spirit.
– Christ died for our sins, to offer us to God.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.
– Christ died for our sins, to offer us to God.

I think it’s totally natural to feel sad, down and depressed when things aren’t going well. I think we all fall prey to pity partying at some point or another, and what may be cause for distress for one person may not be such for another.

Life is hard, there’s no getting around that. And yes, oftentimes it sure looks like life isn’t fair. And when the going gets tough, it can feel like a real slap in the face when things seem to be going so peachy with other people.

Have you thought perhaps of going for some counselling - spiritual, personal, career or otherwise? Sometimes all we need is another perspective at one remove to help us. It couldn’t hurt to try.

Hang in there. Pray. I’ll be praying for you. :console:

I cannot imagine the pain you must feel being separated from your children. And in this economy so many are having trouble.

You might read about St Elizabeth of Hungary and ask for her prayers. When her loving husband died, she was turned oit of her home by his relatives, who kept her children. I would post a link but have trouble doing so, just run a search for her.

God sends us troubles and we offer them up in reparation for our sins, and the sins of others, esp the Holy Souls in Purgatory. I say a short prayer: All for Thee, dear Jesus, Who hast suffered so much for me.

And the more you pray and do some spiritual reading, along with fasting (mortifications) and almsgiving, the closer you will get to God.

Yes,we all feel sorry for ourselves at times.And we all are jealous of others at times too.Im sorry your going through a rough time and I pray that you’ll be able to see the good in your suffering someday.All things pass but its still hard to be patient.

I feel your pain. I’ll spare you my own pity party, but I do recall once almost 30 years ago when PC’s were few and far between, I was working at Boeing on government contracts and struggling. Others took advantage of the system all the time, and it seemed they were getting all the goodies. One guy in particular was working on his MS degree (and the company paid for his tuition and books) and was actually coming in and charging overtime to government contracts, while using the work computers to help with his homework. And this was before homework was supposed to be done on computers. I was beside myself with feelings of being cheated.

I finally found some direction in the following passage:

Prov 4:13-16
Hold fast to instruction, never let her go; keep her, for she is your life. The path of the wicked enter not, walk not on the way of evil men; Shun it, cross it not, turn aside from it, and pass on. For they cannot rest unless they have done evil; to have made no one stumble steals away their sleep.


There are two things to do.

  1. Thank him for the trouble you are having for He knows better than you
    what you really need. Bless him and praise him and tell him you trust
    him. That you believe in his providence and will keep his promises to
    help those in need.
  2. Start the day off with a providential prayer, then do the best you can
    to find a job relying on him to direct you. And talk to him off and on.

Please read this sermon by St John Vianney :slight_smile:

"To love God! oh how beautiful it is! We must be in Heaven to comprehend love… Prayer helps us a little, because prayer is the elevation of the soul to Heaven… The more we know men, the less we love them. It is the reverse with God; the more we know Him, the more we love Him. This knowledge inflames the soul with such a love, that it can no longer love or desire anything from God… Man was created by love; therefore he is so disposed to love. On the other hand, he is so great that nothing on the earth can satisfy him. He can be satisfied only when he turns towards God… Take a fish out of the water, and it will not live. Well, such is man without God. "There are some who do not love the good God, who do not pray to Him, and who prosper; that is a bad sign. They have done a little good in the midst of a great deal of evil. The good God rewards them in this life. "This earth is a bridge to cross the water; it serves only to support our steps… We are in this world, but we are not of this world, since we say every day, ‘Our Father, Who art in Heaven.’ We must wait, then, for our reward till we are at home, in our Father’s house. This is the reason why good Christians suffer crosses, contradictions, adversities, contempt, calumnies – so much the better! . . . But people are astonished at this. They seem to think that because we love the good God a little, we ought to have nothing to contradict us, nothing to make us suffer…

We say, 'There is a person who is not good, and yet everything goes well with him; but with me, it is of no use doing my best; everything goes wrong. It is because we do not understand the value and the happiness of crosses. We say sometimes that God chastises those whom He loves. That is not true. Trials are not chastisements; they are graces to those whom God loves… We must not consider the labor, but the recompense. A merchant does not consider the trouble he undergoes in his commerce, but the profit he gains by it… What are twenty years, thirty years, compared to eternity? What, then, have we to suffer? A few humiliations, a few annoyances, a few sharp words; that will not kill us."It is glorious to be able to please God, so little as we are! Our tongue should be employed only in praying, our heart in loving, our eyes in weeping. We are great, and we are nothing… There is nothing greater than man, and nothing less. Nothing is greater, if we consider his soul; nothing is less, if we look at his body… We occupy ourselves with the body, as if we had it alone to take care of; we have, on the contrary, it alone to despise… We are the work of a God… one always loves one’s own work… It is easy enough to understand that we are the work of a God; but that the crucifixion of a God should be our work! that is incomprehensible."Some people attribute a hard heart to the Eternal Father. Oh, how mistaken they are! The Eternal Father, to disarm His own justice, gave to His Son an excessively tender heart; no one can give what he does not possess. Our Lord said to His Father: ‘Father, do not punish them!’ . . . Our Lord suffered more than was necessary to redeem us. But what would have satisfied the justice of His Father would not have satisfied His love. Without Our Lord’s death, all mankind together could not expiate a single little lie."In the world, people hide Heaven and Hell: Heaven, because if we knew its beauty, we would wish to go there at all costs – we would, indeed, leave the world alone; Hell, because if we knew the torments that are endured there, we would do all we could to avoid going there."The Sign of the Cross is formidable to the devil, because by the Cross we escape from him. We should make the Sign of the Cross with great respect. We begin with the forehead: it is the head, creation – the Father; then the heart: love, life, redemption – the Son; then the shoulders: strength – the Holy Spirit. Everything reminds us of the Cross. We ourselves are made in the form of a cross. In Heaven we shall be nourished by the breath of God… The good God will place us as an architect places the stones of a building – each one in the spot to which it is adapted. The soul of the saints contained the foundations of Heaven. They felt an emanation from Heaven, in which they bathed and lost themselves… As the disciples on Mount Thabor saw nothing but Jesus alone, so interior souls, on the Thabor of their hearts no longer see anything but Our Lord. They are two friends, who are never tired of each other…“There are some who lose the faith, and never see Hell till they enter it. The lost will be enveloped in the wrath of God, as the fish are in the water. It is not God who condemns us to Hell; it is we ourselves who do it by our sins. The lost do not accuse God; they accuse themselves. They say, 'I have lost God, my soul, and Heaven by my own fault. ’ No one was ever lost for having done too much evil; but many are in Hell for a single mortal sin of which they would not repent. If a lost soul could say once, ‘O my God I love You!’ there would be no more Hell for him . . . but, alas, poor soul! it has lost the power of loving which it had received, and of which it made no use. Its heart is dried up like grapes that have passed through the winepress. No more joy in that soul, no more peace, because there is no more love… Hell has its origin in the goodness of God. The lost will say, 'Oh, if at least God had not loved us so much, we would suffer less! Hell would be endurable… But to have been so much loved! what grief!”

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