How to get that balance


I am a Master’s student in Aerospace Engineering and I want to have a career in aviation. Have a family, have kids and the whole nine yards.

But at the same time, as I get to delve more into faith, I feel like I am always going to make a compromise between my faith life and my worldly life. For example, I could spend an hour watching Catholicism video or spend that hour reading some research papers. Sure, reading the papers will take more of an effort and could be dry sometimes. But, sometimes, it feels like me watching/reading more about faith is me just not accepting responsibility. It could be being burned out of education (after 5 continuous years of education).

Don’t get me wrong, I believe, I have been a good student so far and I am not running away from responsibilities. I am just having a hard time finding the balance. I over indulge and lately I have been erring on the side of religious education (be spending more than enough time ‘catching up’ on Catholicism)

Anyone else in the forum has experienced this before?

you’ve got to render unto Caesar, or the government’s going to take it anyway. vow to do the day to day work God has set aside for you with excellence for His glory. if that means reading work papers, do it with excellence. and get a hobby, outside of work and church, just for balance.

If Caesar is putting himself in the position for a can of whoop stank to be unleashed on him should that still be rendered ? Just because the government is going to take what they want from the people as they deem fit wether or not the faithful or peaceful like it, does that really mean we have to lay down an take it ?

had much success dodging taxes? if you have, let me in on the secret.

yeah its called don’t work, or earn just enough that you don’t have to pay taxes.

that makes me wonder what would happen if everyone decided to work to the bare minimum required to not qualify to pay taxes, wonder if the gov would go wonky .

anyhow did not mean to throw off the OPS thread, I guess an option could be considering becoming a deacon if you want work and grow more in the faith and serve Christ.
I am sure others will have better suggestions besides my rant.

how would I pay for my polo ponies?

And my bets at the race track, and my new Mercedes, and the lobsters I buy at the super duper market?:shrug:

don’t bet the horses, the vig is too high; and never, ever buy lobster at a supermarket.

Okay. I will try that.:smiley:

A bunch of wise guys have hijacked this thread! The lot of you should be ashamed.

What was the original topic? Oh, yes, what is often called the work-life balance, but here we should perhaps expand it to the work-family-God balance.

First of all, you are at a crucial point because you are in graduate school, and you really need to maintain the effort to get your career off to a good start. In the long run, having a good job and income will give you more freedom to spend more of your time and energy on the things that really matter, like your family and your spiritual needs.

Second, you have a family, and they need your time, energy, attention, and love. Set aside a little time every day, or as often as you can, to give your spouse your undivided attention, and secondly your kids. If your workload is urgently demanding at times, communicate with your spouse about it, be clear about what you need to do and when, and schedule some time to catch up on the weekend, or after the exam, or whatever. And don’t keep postponing your family time like that poor dude in “The Cat’s in the Cradle” (song by Harry Chapin).

Last, but not least, make time for God. At this point in your career, it would be imprudent to try to be a theologian or a saint. You don’t have to do that. For starters, go to Mass on Sunday with your family. If you have a children’s Bible, or book of Bible stories, read it to your children once in a while, and tell them in your own words what it means.

If you want to do a little more, schedule a daily 10 or 15 minute session for prayer and study. Pick a quiet time to do this. (For me, it’s first thing in the morning, when the rest of the family is asleep; I’m an early bird. I pray a little, read a little Scripture or Catechism, not a long time. Then I start my workday. When time permits, I do more.) Don’t get obsessive and take on more than you can handle.

My last point is regarding the word “balance.” One thing I don’t like about the word is that it implies compromise. Perhaps it is necessary. There are only so many hours in the day, of course, and you have to figure out how to spend them. But the concept you should work on is “harmony.” A work-family-God balance is a good starting point, but it is better to have a work-family-God harmony in your life. Is it possible for these three important parts of your life to fit together and reinforce each other?

It should not be difficult to harmonize the demands of family and God. If you cultivate in yourself a stronger faith by prayer or study, and put it into practice in your life, it will benefit your family. Don’t forget, a significant part of your calling is to promote the spiritual well-being of your spouse (is she/he also Catholic, or Christian, and practicing?), and to teach your children to love God and love one another. Also the time and attention you give your family will help to make you a more virtuous and loving person.

Is it possible to harmonize your work with God? It certainly is possible, though you may have to work at it. Work conscientiously, do the best work you can within reasonable work hours, deal fairly and honestly with colleagues and co-workers, deal ethically with customers, suppliers, and business associates. In general, conform your work habits to your faith. Do what you can to improve the corporate culture, at least among those you personally deal with. If your employer requires you to cheat or lie, start looking for another employer.

Here are a few suggestions for harmonizing work and family: Work reasonable hours. Don’t bring a load of work home every day. Don’t come home and unload on your spouse the complete story of your workday, …but be patient and listen kindly if your spouse needs to unload. Turn off or ignore the cell phone during key family times. Don’t get obsessed about job status, prestige, or promotions if those things will negatively impact the time and energy you have to share with your family.

Drop us a line and let us know how you’re doing. We’re here to help. I pray that the Lord shower blessing upon you and yours.

Don’t forget that it is an oxymoron to say that you are trying to have spiritual time and family time. Both need to be together. Also your vocation as a father is to spend time with your family, protect and serve them. Your job as an apostle of Christ is to evangelize and study more on Him. Hope this helps.

OP, pay attention. humor is not repeat not allowed in your new life.

Thank you for the advice and the humor.
I would like to bet on stocks (horses are just too classy for my at this point of time), get a BMW (not a merc fan) and enjoy some real good pizza (sea food is just not my thing).:stuck_out_tongue:

When I said “Have kids, have family, and the whole nine yards”, I meant the future, just like the career in aviation. I am a single guy trying to balance (harmonize now…) work, study and faith. No significant other; parents are definitely the only family I have right now (even though they are on the other side of the globe) Sorry, if that was confusing. :confused:
I definitely got some good pointers. Chime in, again, now that most of the confusion should be gone.:thumbsup:

Oh, well, I didn’t read that right. You are better off than I thought. You have more time to figure things out.

Beryllos has given some excellent advice.

As a seminarian, you might think that I have the whole balance thing solved; that I have ample time for prayer and that my prayer life is… well, angelic! Nope! My heavy academic course load this semester has made it a struggle to find time for prayer (assignments have due dates after all) but as my spiritual director has pointed out to me, it’s all to easy to fall into the habit of thinking that I’m too busy to pray when really being busy is the very reason why I should be making more of an effort to spend time in prayer.

As Beryllos has said, find a regular or something close to regular) time of the day which suits you and stick to it. Mine is usually in the evenings since I’m definitely not a morning person. I give spend an hour a day (normally two half hour blocks) over to contemplative prayer. This is also beneficial for my studies - particularly when I’ve got writer’s block or feel snowed under by assignments.

Also don’t forget about the holiness which you can bring to your everyday life, simply by seeking to imitate Christ and bring Gospel values into all that you do - after all, as Christians, we’re not called to cut ourselves off from the world, or to partition off that part of our lives.

Finally, when I was at law school, we had t-shirts printed one year which said “On a quest for truth and justice… but a nice BMW will do.” Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) I never did get that BMW…

Sorry for hijacking the thread with my weird humor. I like horse races but I don’t bet on them, I own a Hyundai, not a Mercedes, and I like regular fish instead of lobsters To me they look UGLY!

I’ve changed my assessment. didn’t realize you were just starting out. forget about balance for a couple of years. you’re going to have to work your tail off and pay your dues in your profession. if you don’t, you’ll wind up in a windowless cubicle farm. dedicate your work to God and do it with excellence.

I haven’t had lobster for many years, but I do like it. How can a giant bug taste so good?

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