How to handle singleness and strong desire for marriage?


Rosemerry, I’m glad to help. :slight_smile:

I too have a strong desire for marriage, and sometimes it bothers me. But when I remember that God calls me to patience, I find happiness knowing that He will reveal His perfect plan for my life in good time. I trust that through prayer, God will reveal to me my future wife who He has called me to serve, when the time is right.

I realized that in my previous post, I only shared half of one of my favorite Bible passages. It isn’t so profound without the verse that follows.

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

May God bless you in your discernment, and the rest of your life.


I’m in the same situation with you. I’m 18 years old, single, senior in high school and I really do want to get married and have children “soon” (when I’m about 20-24) but I think God wants me to join the Church, grow in my faith, get more mature, study and get a job before getting married. You know, before you get married you must be very mature and adult because marriage is a Holy Sacrament and a life-long bond between a man and a woman and you must take it very seriously. Not to mention children, it’s a HUGE responsibility to become a parent and you must be mature enough to do it.
I hope God will guide me to a good and loving man when I’m ready for it. Before that happens, I can focus on other things such as becoming a Catholic and studying. So answer to your question, I just try to accept the fact that it’s not my time yet.
Just trust God, He knows what’s the best for you :slight_smile:


i know how your feeling… but let me tell you from a bit of experience that what your doing in waiting is far better than “anything” you might gain from relationships you would form that dont offer lasting love or a love that resides in marraige.

i have struggled with lonliness, much like you, this past year, and sometimes when i couldnt bare anylonger, your will is probably stronger than mine, i would find women to talk to on dating sites, women who i know i would never go on dates with but i tried to talktothem and sort of side my catholicism way (truthful way) of the matter… what ended up happening is a "relationship"of using, you end up talkingto the person and extracting messages or writing messages in ways where there is only a sort of egoism built up, whereas if you hadmetthem in person you would simply be yourselfand be on your way…

this i dont enjoy anymore, and it makes you lonlier and miserable than ever, on the other hand when you enjoy certain encounters with people without desiring something too much it naturally comes about and you realize that even if you are not meant to be with someone you are really satisfied and appreciate the time you did share (even if its just grabbing a meal from someone at a restaurant or saying hello)…

i guess what im trying to say is not to worry too muchand dont get frustrated at people that are doing something stupid, stand above them

all the best to you


Are you having trouble meeting suitable men? Are you being realistic in your expectations, and I’m not thinking of sex? Do you mix well? Some people have good success through dating services. . You might try it out. But one thing I wouldn’t do. I would not force the issue, just be yourself and learn to be happy as you are. Volunteer and be a help to people less fortunate. Be active in Church.



Right there with you… Praying for you, sister! I hope you’ve found answers and peace in life!!!


Oh my gosh, I just posted a similar question a few days ago. What people have been telling me to do is focus on myself and strengthening my relationship with Jesus. Pray to Him and talk to Him about your situation. I have started praying a novena to St. Anne asking her to intercede in finding me a good, godly man. Another suggestion is what I believe someone already told you. Put yourself in positions where you can meet strong Catholic men. Go to a church around a Newman Center, find out if your parish has anything for young adults, attend young adult Catholic conferences etc. We just have to remember everything happens in His timing, not ours! I will be praying for you. :slight_smile:


Hi Rosemerry,

I haven’t read everyone else’s responses yet, and I’m sure that you’ve been given some excellent advice already. :slight_smile:

Anyways, the Newman Connection website offers a free and very accessible course on JPII’s Theology of the Body. It really, really, REALLY helped me get through my emotions and desires. I find the teaching easy to follow and it’s in short 20 minute sections. Here’s the link:

I hope it helps!


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit