How to help someone deal with stress


#1

My boyfriend is incredibly stressed over his college classes. He’s taking 17 credit hours, part of which are ROTC, and he has barely had a moment to relax since school started. He has so many things to do, plus getting up at 5 am three days a week for physical training, it’s wearing him out. He insists he’s okay, but all of his his friends and I can tell he’s not. He hardly has time to relax, and even on the weekends he’s doing homework and assignments. Can anyone suggest ways that I could help him relax? At this rate he’s going to burn himself out and I’m worried about him. He has hardly been able to fit in time to go to mass or pray either so I’m also concerned about his spiritual health


#2

Can he skip the physical training for a bit,or use lunchtime instead ? It’s very hard trying to help someone else who isn’t willing to adjust their daily schedule somehow,or let something go so they can manage time better :thinking:


#3

Don’t add to his stress by hassling him.

Ask him what he would like you to do to help. Then do it.
If he says “nothing”, then don’t be hovering around trying to do stuff.

I have had semesters in my life where I took a lot of credit hours, and other times when I was having a temporary stressful period, and the last thing I wanted was somebody acting like a mother hen about it.

“Even on the weekends he’s doing homework and assignments” = um, this was the norm when I went to school; I took a difficult major and we didn’t just get Saturday and Sunday off to go party and play with our friends.


#4

At night, tell him too look at the starry sky. Remind him that these stars where there before he was born and will still be there after he passed away.


#5

Dude! Sounds like he has taken on too much! Right? So, for ROTC, I imagine the PT is required and scheduled. He can’t do anything about that.

What can help is getting enough sleep (8 hours each night, if possible) and going to bed the same time every night (sleep studies done recently have confirmed this). That means getting up at 5 AM every day - though sleeping in on Saturday is probably OK. Energy drinks, coffee and stimulants can make it difficult to sleep and make sleep less restful, so these should be avoided as much as possible (for example, no caffeine after lunch). Eating well is also a must, but he probably knows that from his ROTC instruction.

To get enough sleep, that means he either needs to drop a class or spend less time kicking back, so you might need to spend time together only on the weekends, and less time than before. For mass, he can see if there is a chapel on campus or a parish closer to the college or university, if he decides to make it a priority.


#6

What physical training is he doing and why?

How much extra time does each credit hour take. How many hours a week is required for each unit.

College does become all encompassing. Gone is social life, gone are nights and weekends. It’s really all about getting the work done and getting it done well.


#7

ROTC is the US military’s “Reserve Officer Training Corps” program. The students in it are being trained as military officers, and regular physical training is part of the program.


#8

My answer sounds trite and canned, but it seems like all you can do: lift him up in prayer, pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit to put the right words in your mouth, and pay attention so you don’t miss his guidance. Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness… Have faith.

I just prayed for you both now.


#9

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