I had a Confessor/Spiritual Director, but for reasons I can’t go into in detail, it wasn’t a good fit.
My concerns with finding a new one have been that there are so many (it seems) who don’t follow the teachings. ie; if I forget to confess a sin, my last spiritual director told me I couldn’t confess any that I remembered in future after that confession. All were put down to scrupulosity, and yet, the sins I would remember were mortal.
I do have some problems with that (scrupulosity) but those problems have tended to make me not confess some things, rather than the usual opposite.
Kind of like debating over a sin because it didn’t have all three “requirements” to be mortal.
Proper reflection? That would get very twisted in my mind. What is proper reflection? Sometimes, after having committed the sin, I would look back and say “What was I thinking?”, and thus, if I could see the gravity after the fact, did I really see it before?
Well, many of us, after giving up a sin, can later see just how bad it was, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t proper reflection beforehand.
I think any of you can see how very complicated and confusing this can be. Perhaps more so because I am a convert. I know the tenets of the faith very well, but the Reconciliation, and other things, are very difficult. One site will say to confess anything and everything, another site will say “exact” numbers, another will say, if there was something that changed the nature of the sin, that needs to be confessed, and gone over with details, and yet another will say, don’t tell details to a priest as it can infringe on his conscience.
I thank all of you for your input. I tried to get here a few times earlier today, but it seemed like as soon as I logged in, something else would come up.
Thank you for prayers too.
The one thing I know for certain is, I am sorry for all of my sins, and don’t want to go back to any of them, just wish I could get this whole confession thing done… (I know there will be more in future, but this one is a major hurdle)
God bless each of you.