Hello everyone as I am new here I hope I am posting my question in the right area. I became a catholic years ago however I have not been attending mass since around 1997. I am not angry with the church and I have many many excuses why I do not attend. I feel like I am a good christian woman, love to read and study the scriptures and try to live a life that is holy. I miss going to mass and I am sure if I wanted something bad enough I would find a way. I will list just a couple of my excuses make of them what you will but maybe it will give you an insight to my dilemna. I am a caretaker to a disabled adult daughter who is also medically and mentally challenged. She became ill several years ago to the point of not wanting to go anywhere and if forced well lets just say it isn’t pleasant. And not to sound awful I can totally understand why the couch and her dogs are a greater comfort to her. My husband works how he likes to say 8 days a week…(actually it is 6) and unfortunately in this day and age with our daughters medical costs he needs to work for the insurance we need. His work makes him work Saturday and Sunday. I cannot leave my daughter to attend church. Over the years it just got easier to stay home. Then I sometimes have this problem of forgetting There is no way possible I could ever remember every sin committed since I can not even remember my last confession. But the real issue is I don’t feel in my heart that missing Mass was/is a sin. I try and keep Holy every day of the week I just don’t attend Mass which leads to not going to Communion which I would really like to again someday but was told not till I go to confession…besides I would probably flood the confessional; I cry and get all kinds of nervous when I talk about my issues…but it would be a sin not to confess skipping Mass, according to some I know, and would it be a sin to confess to something I do not feel in my heart was wrong to begin with and missing Mass would more than likely happen again. Long winded I know hope someone can shed some light. Thanks
When you are unable, for good reason, to attend Sunday Mass, are you keeping the Lord’s Day holy by reading the Mass readings, by spending time in fervent prayer, or in other ways?
My suggestion would be to make an appointment with a priest on one of your husband’s days off, to discuss this with him, ask him for help to examine your conscience, and to go to Confession.
You can ask for a dispensation from Sunday Mass, but he will most likely ask that you attend Mass on your husband’s day off, and to observe Sundays and holy days of obligation as best as you can (see first sentence above). Do you have friends or family who might stay with your daughter while you attend Mass?
Perhaps you can ask if someone in the parish who brings Holy Communion to the sick can visit you once a week.
Please come back to the sacraments!
an examination of conscience: keepingitcatholic.org/exam.html
Catholics Come Home: catholicscomehome.org/
as Jesus said: A branch cut off from the vine will wither and die.
It is clear that you have had good reason to miss mass on many occasions, but that is a problem for which there are solutions.
Make an appointment to see your priest. Talk it through, and make a confession. He will help you.
We are all human
We all know that no matter how strong our resolve we will all fall again and sin again. It is only by the Grace of God that we can carry onwards. As St. Paul said: “My boast is in the Lord”.
Make an appointment with your parish priest on your husband’s day off, for counseling and confession. Your reason is certainly better than most peoples “I didn’t feel like it,” or “I was out late the last night.”
Before going for Confession, make a thorough examination of conscience. It’s good to get in the habit of doing one daily (usually every evening) as well. Many good examinations are available online, and one poster already provided a link. If you have an iPhone, there’s also an app for that! There’s also another Examination of Conscience App, (this one’s free).
Also, you might want to check into being a part of a caregiver’s support group as well. You need to take care of yourself too. That group can lead you to resources where maybe a another person can come to stay with your daughter while you go to Mass and also go take a day off just for you!! Get your hair done! Go walk on the beach!! Anything! You deserve it.
These are very good suggestions guess I will go hunt me up good/nice/understanding priest (little fearful of getting yelled at or bursting out in tears (like I am doing just writing this) Sorry to say I have issues with our local priest) I want to be friends with a priest I think not knowing him makes me nervous about talking with him. When I 1st moved here 30 some years ago the priest/ our nun were awesome…I even did face/face confession I liked it then. Priests ought to never retire when they are as great as he was! LOL I was very involved in the church then but when they left and a different priest came and many changes were made I felt very rejected from the church and things just got to happening …like I say long winded…sorry before you know it Iwill be confessing online…good idea but when I read a story about it not staying private I understood then… but thanks for the support I am going to try a bit harder in getting back to Mass somehow.
Priests should not yell at their parishoners. That priest was in the wrong for doing that. But yes, seek out some help and join a support group for caregivers wherever you are at.
It is possible also that you may be able to have a private mass in your home, depending on priest availability and if it’s permitted by your bishop. It would be something to ask about to see if that might work, even if its only occassionally.
My brother in law is a priest and often has masses at his mothers house the problem for me is getting my daughter to leave and in getting him to come this far…we do the EWTN mass but there is nothing like the comfort of going to Mass in a church there is a good feeling with the surroundings a peaceful feeling…anyway thanks I be working on some things and will figure out a way even if I do it w/o my hubby and do a weekday mass We are still looking for a day person to come sit so prayers will be welcomed we find someone loving caring person we can trust with our daughter!
Praying. And you will find someone to watch your daughter while you go to Mass.
Does the parish offer home visits at all?
May be the priest can set something up for you to have Mass at home and even receive confession at home if not on a weekly basis, something like once a term.
You are not going because you just don’t feel like it. You are tied to family situation and like those who are unable through medical issues, yours too is through medical issues and the priest may find someone or himself to come and visit you at home and do mass for you there as well as confession or send someone from the church to visit so you get some link with the church
Have a think about it and don’t be embarrassed to ask.That is the hardest part and what is the worst that can happen? He will say no because he too busy and you can just say thank you Father I appreciate you being busy but he may be able to provide some other link. Hope you give it real thought and try.