I can’t really relate to you the same, myself being a male. I can however tell you that I have no friends where I live, I never go out with anyone (except my girlfriend), and my life isn’t at all what most would consider “bad”.
I moved to Texas to live with my father, after I graduated highschool and my mother dying the same year of my graduation. I had to break up with my girlfriend up there and move down here. Three years later I’ve seemed to find a perfect life. I don’t go out, I don’t have anyone I can call, and my girlfriend doesn’t even speak the same language as I do. But all that really doesn’t matter, since I have Jesus. Just about every day I goto church and spend time with him, praying for happiness in my life and it seems to work.
I would really try to visit church as much as you can, just spending time in the presence of Jesus can be the most relaxing thing to someone, in my opinion. I wouldn’t think about it as much as you do either, that way it won’t take over your whole thought process. Try being happy for what you have, and realize that you are more than blessed to have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, and a meal a day (which a lot of people in the world can’t afford). I’ve really been trying to work on humility and it’s seemed to help out a lot. I’m probably not talking about the same subject anymore, don’t know if this was any help, and like I mentioned before, I’m not a woman so I haven’t the slightest idea of how it feels for you. Good luck and God Bless!