How to make friends?


Hey Kristie!

I graduated in May–am engaged–and my friends have all moved away. Except for my best friend, of course…I’m marrying him so he’ll stay with me. :wink:

Maybe we could start a “tweens” thread…lol. It isn’t a perfect substitute for the friendships of college, but it can be so much fun to discuss things with those our own age.

Anyone else like the idea?

kevinsgirl :love:

P.S. Do you have any hobbies that you can take outside your home and do with other people? For me, I learned cajun dancing…it was both fun and gave me another social outlet. I also try to spend more time with my family. And I keep in touch with everyone long distance by e-mail…


I found that going the volunteer route was a great way to start making friends at my parish. It is always difficult at any age to make new friends. If I concentrate hard enough I can find enough differences between me and the people around me to keep me lonely and afraid. However, throwing myself into the ‘middle of the lifeboat’ so-to-speak has helped me learn to be a small part of a greater whole. I have friends who are younger and older, married and single, parents and non-parents…but it has taken time and energy.

You sound like a lovely woman and I bet you have much to offer those around you.
go get 'em, tiger!


When I moved to the midwest and my husband left shortly after that I was in the same boat. I volunteered at my parish to work on a fundraiser for the parish school where my kids didn’t attend. I met the most wonderful people that I am still friends with today, and some of them even helped me get my kids into the parish school. After that I worked at their school and met the parents of all the kids my kids were friends with and also became the asst director of PSR at my parish. I found I wasn’t so lonely anymore because kids always remember you and the parents got so used to seeing me around that I was accepted even though I hadn’t lived here very long(small town stuff).

I now volunteer for as much as I can (2 kids in high school 1 in college) time permiting and I have found that I love meeting new folks in our community and making them feel welcome just like those before me did. I also started taking the Great Adventure Bible study…we are now onto the Adventures in Matthew and the folks I have met there are great. We have older women, married couples, younger women and several of us that have kids in Jr High and HS.

Just go out and put your name on that list when they ask for volunteers for Respect Life day…or your parish’s Angel project… or anything you feel is a worthy cause. I regularly get calls and email from people in charge of different groups to do things for that group. Making cookies for RCIA, food for funeral dinners, cookies for the rest home, etc. you will meet some wonderful people.


I can totally identify. I’ve found now that all the tumultuous times of planning the wedding and the awkward state of being engaged are behind me, I am able to make more friends than I have ever had in my life.

My engagement was a lonely, rocky time. I was all alone in a new town, DH was [too] busy finishing his degree four hours away, and my parents and siblings and friends were all miles away. I was too busy to maintain a solid friendship long distance, and too busy to find new friends near me, especially knowing I’d likely be moving in just a year to accomodate DH’s job.

For the time being, I’d recommend immersing yourself in preparations for the wedding, but especially for being married. Also, don’t rely too heavily on CAF for “friendship.” While it is indeed a great place, and I have made two couple friends in “real life” from the forums, online forums are no substitute for real interaction.


I can’t really relate to you the same, myself being a male. I can however tell you that I have no friends where I live, I never go out with anyone (except my girlfriend), and my life isn’t at all what most would consider “bad”.

I moved to Texas to live with my father, after I graduated highschool and my mother dying the same year of my graduation. I had to break up with my girlfriend up there and move down here. Three years later I’ve seemed to find a perfect life. I don’t go out, I don’t have anyone I can call, and my girlfriend doesn’t even speak the same language as I do. But all that really doesn’t matter, since I have Jesus. Just about every day I goto church and spend time with him, praying for happiness in my life and it seems to work.

I would really try to visit church as much as you can, just spending time in the presence of Jesus can be the most relaxing thing to someone, in my opinion. I wouldn’t think about it as much as you do either, that way it won’t take over your whole thought process. Try being happy for what you have, and realize that you are more than blessed to have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, and a meal a day (which a lot of people in the world can’t afford). I’ve really been trying to work on humility and it’s seemed to help out a lot. I’m probably not talking about the same subject anymore, don’t know if this was any help, and like I mentioned before, I’m not a woman so I haven’t the slightest idea of how it feels for you. Good luck and God Bless!



I also second the motion to volunteer with a likeminded group of people as yourself. Last year I became engaged and moved 2,500 miles away to live in the same town as my fiance during the engagement. Then we married and I was blessed with pregnancy within 6 weeks. I have difficulty making friends because of my reserved nature. We live an hour or more from our parish, which makes daily involvement impossible. It was a very difficult, painful time for me.

Over the summer, I volunteered for a week at our parish’s children’s summer program for the very selfish reason that I knew I’d be interacting with many mothers of young children–exactly the kind of woman I am becoming. My plan worked great and I probably launched a half dozen friendships in that one week alone. It was worth my time and gasoline!


The best way to make friends is to put yourself in a position to be around good people, and then get involved. For example, get involved in church activities or volunteerism, or get involved with something you enjoy or a cause you believe in.

God bless you.


terribly sorry i was being fasitious…(spelling)


I completely understand. My husband and I just got married last July and are expecting in April, and we moved to an area where we have no friends (my family is about an hour away). My college friends are all dispersed and my friends from home are actually all-over, most going through grad school and such. While my husband is my best friend and I enjoy every moment I spend with him, I miss my female network. My husband is a practicing Catholic, but he’s incredibly shy and has a small amount of social anxiety, so it’s difficult many times to do social things that we’re unfamiliar with. We have been getting involved in our young adults group (which unfortunately consists mainly of single people) and a young Catholic couples group - through my mom of all people, and volunteer for RCIA. Church has been the easiest route for us to meet people, but it’s still a long process and by no means do I feel close enough to anyone to call it a friendship. The phone has been my companion for keeping in touch! Maybe volunteer things could be a good route or taking a class like pottery or signing up for some type of sport you’re into. I’ve found it’s much more fun anyway to include my husband than to be without him. That way he makes friends as well. It does take time though. I’ve moved often throughout my life and had to start all over again, so I know it takes time, esp. when you’re not in school, so you don’t even see anyone on a consistent basis. Work is out of the question for me…it’s probably the lonliest place and I’m there most of my waking hours. I hope you find good, un-judgemental friends soon :). God bless!


thank you i need something


You’re welcome :)…but I am not sure I understand when you say, “I need something.”

 i dont know what i ment at the time,maybe another hole in the 

head lol…Bill


you are invited to read and comment on my blogs: regarding experiences of the World Youth Day about experiences with God’s presence in our lives which is the site for our Holy Friendship Society, a community of people who accept God’s offer of Divine Friendship (Jn 15: 12 - 17)

God bless!


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit