I don’t even know what faith is.
I mean, normally it’s not a priority, but during Christmastime I feel really hollow. Like a hypocrite or outsider.
I don’t know if I even believe in god. I can’t think of any reasons why I should, or any proof that I should even bother.
I find it so hard to believe in him, but at the same time, I’m afraid to let go of my faith-- if i ever even had it-- because I’ve still got this (irrational?) fear of going to hell.
It’s weird. I’m uncomfortable labeling myself as a “believer” and uncomfortable labeling myself as an “atheist”. Both titles repel me.
At the same time, I’m a person who’s been raised in a really strict conservative Catholic family. I’m well versed in the bible and the basic of catechism. For 4 years, my family and I have been going to spiritual retreats. I altar serve (at the urging of my mom) every Sunday.
However, I’ve got my own personal demons. There’s a side of me that I’m really ashamed of. I have this problem with certain sins, which I can’t get over of.
I don’t know who I can talk to comfortably without anonymity. the priests at my church are… eh. they’re busy people. they’re alright, but I don’t feel comfortable talking to them about stuff.
And my parents… definitely not.
(i’m a 16 year old girl)
What should I do?