How to respond when attacked for not supporting gay marriage?


It seems like most people I talk to these days is in support of gay marriage and when I tell them how I feel about it, I am judged, harassed, or verbally attacked. What do I say to people that won’t make me sound like the horrible person they think I am?


I’ve never seen an issue catch fire the way it has for proponents of gay marriage. It is really hard to be "counter-cultural and stand up for marriage as an institution that is reserved for one man and one woman only.

I just say, that I have great compassion for those with SSA. But, based on my understanding of marriage, gay marriage is not only incompatible, it is impossible. One of the most important aspects of marriage is pro-creation which is not possible in a gay union. One cannot, for example have a female daddy or a male mommy. In the same sense, gay marriage is not marriage at all. Call it a friendship or a union or a partnership, but never marriage.


I’m not sure that there is anything you could do. At least, I have not figured out anything… not just in this subject, but other topics of morality that go against the cultural grain.

 I just try to show them my concern, be kind about my stance and point to God's Word.   If they don't want to listen to God, then there is *nothing *I could do.   And if they won't listen to God, and I tell them what God says in His Word, then there is nothing going to stop them from thinking I am a horrible person for stating God's truth- which they don't want to believe.  Just pray for them.  

I’d also suggest that you pray to the Holy Spirit with your question. God can see all, and thus lead you through His Holy Spirit to navigate His message through the maze of their hearts.

God Bless and stay strong in the Lord. The current is getting strong. :frowning:


:thumbsup: this is good stuff!



I’m not sure there really is a magic pill to get people to change their perception of you, other than to try and be as loving and truthful as possible.

It may help for you to understand that whenever you call out someone or something violating natural law, especially something sexual, their only real recourse is to respond angrily. Their favorite response is “you can’t JUDGE me!”.

They try to make you sound horrible in order to convert you or at least silence you, because they cannot ever win on substance. :nope: :dts:

Otherwise, heh, to be a practicing Catholic is to be persecuted. The world is full of anger, hate and agents of Satan, many of whom aren’t even aware of it. In fact, the strongest persecution you face may come from Catholics who see the gay “marriage” issue as a way to fit into the secular world and look cool. They think they’ve beaten the system and can be cool in the eyes of world and righteous in the eyes of God.

But as the Good Book says, easier said than done.

So, you can see yet another reason why they’d be so angry.


Well, one thing a person could say:

The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it. A lie is still a lie regardless if everyone believes it. I stand behind what I know to be true. Homosexuality is illogical, against the natural law, and is very well founded to be against Biblical teaching and therefore against the Will of Almighty God.


Here come the secularists to bash you further in 3…2…1…

On the even more serious side, I’ve just given up all hope with such ignorant people. They don’t want to learn about the faith, they just want to argue and convert others to their viewpoint. You can find such behavior from many secularists on the forums or in real life. When it comes to hotbed issues such as this? They will show no mercy, logic, or sympathy. This is my experience.


I just tell them to study history. Only in our time have there been so many insane and public halleluiahs for same-sex sodomy and same-sex marriage. If the entire history of the human race has been wrong and we are right, why are we right and the rest of history wrong?

Isn’t it just possible that modern man is sexually insane?


You can say that you don’t recognize gay marriage, or second marriages without annulments, as a sacramental marriages because they aren’t recognized by your Church or by God. They can argue about civil marriage all they want. Too many people make the mistake of assuming all civil laws are moral. Just because something is legal doesn’t make it morally right. I’m sure everyone can think of examples of things that are legal but immoral, according to God’s law.


Thank you everyone for your responses. That really helps!:bible1:


Matthew 10:22
You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved

American Standard Version Proverbs 29:27
An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous; And he that is upright in the way is an abomination to the wicked

Dont’t worry, you are in good company with all the Saints.


I think if you look, there have been several times societies have adopted acceptance of homosexuality. It is a sign of pending collapse which is why it is taboo.

My thought is, not backed by research, is if a society cannot recognize the obvious differences between male and female anatomy, then all other truth is open for interpretation.

A society cannot function Without commonly understood beliefs over the long term and therefore pretty quickly realizes the consequences of their beliefs.


The subject may not be sufficiently exposed by just the term “gay marriage”. What really do the people you speak with believe, or want available to same sex couples? Is it joint tax filing, shared assets, mutual care and inheritance arrangements - which you might feel you could support (while retaining an objection to calling it marriage). Or is it that they feel that same sex couples are identical to opposite sex couples in the context of family formation? Marriage is a sexual Union - do they see the State having an interest in same sex sex relationships in the same way it does in opposite sex relationships?

Understanding the perspective of others in a little depth might help you sharpen your understanding of your own position, and express it more clearly.


There is no way to control how others are going to think about you, if they think you’re a horrible meany, then that’s how it is.

You can choose to share your beliefs or keep mum.

Good news is that statistics are in your favor that the attacks will remain verbal. I know of very few situations where people who are against homosexual marriage have been beaten, lost jobs, killed or had their children taken away. So thank goodness for that.

We must each hold to our faith, even when it is difficult and uncomfortable.


Frankly, I love it when someone tells me this. My question to such a person is “Why? Is it wrong to judge others?” And when I am told yes, I add “Then don’t you think you should stop?”

This usually produces a confused look. I then add “By saying it is wrong to judge others, you have made a pronouncement of right and wrong. And by telling me I am wrong to judge, you have judged my action as wrong. By judging me, you have done exactly what you claim people shouldn’t do: judge others.” :slight_smile:

Amazing how often people do not subject themselves to their own criterion. I have a scene in my novel (see my signature below) in which a priest and an atheist have a similar conversation about moral relativism.


Tell them to deal with it or say “If that bothers you then that’s your problem.” Play the cards that are commonly played and see how they respond.


Well said Schaeffer. Can you imagine Paul getting tweebed when the Jews didn’t heed him for telling the Truth. No. I imagine he made his case and moved on.

Your insight, concern for or control of what others thinks is,imo, the bigger issue. The desire to argue to convert doesn’t work (that is my arguement :eek:)


I often wonder the same thing and I’m not so sure I could successfully defend the Church’s teaching and my opinion on the subject if someone asked me about it. This is not because I’m not confident in what I believe but because I just haven’t prepared myself for it. For this reason I do not engage in this type of conversation because most often nothing good comes of it; the person on the other end usually just tries to prove me wrong. This is not a reason to talk about the topic because it is not an open discussion and therefore, is not worth my time. This is something on my list to work on in the future because I want to help my liberal friends who would consider me “closed-minded” understand that I, and fellow Catholics, are far from closed-minded or anti-love. We are just interested in the greatest love of all time, which happens to be incompatible with homosexual acts.

Jennifer Fulwiler summarized her conversations about the topic on her blog. Although reading a single blog post will not suddenly give you the skill to eloquently defend yourself, Jennifer’s main point in the conversation is thoughtful and genuine. I recommend reading her entire post for some interesting perspective. You can find it here:


That’s a good way of stating the matter. Modern man does not just reject religion. He rejects human nature. That is a measure of insanity.


Abraham Lincoln was reportedly fond of asking, “If you call a dog’s tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have?” “Five,” his audience would invariably answer. “No,” he would politely respond,” the correct answer is four. Calling a tail a leg does not make it a leg.”[LEFT]
Same with gay “marriage.”

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