In order to ask my question I feel it best to share my backstory. I was raised Catholic, put through the sacrament of communion, and felt compelled to get my confirmation to appease the family. I never fully believed with both feet in, just kind of half-hearted. Afterwards, the confusion set in. I tried to find faith and I tried to find a belief but came up with every single reason that God didn’t exist. Until I found myself torn apart, wanting to die, morally corrupt, a product of over-consumption and living in sin. I begged for guidance and finally said… I want to give you control. Since then i’ve been trying to live in his name and spread the word, i’ve fallen before him in reconciliation and admitted my sins. Every single sin feels natural to give up but one, which has a lot of fear around it.
My girlfriend does not share the beliefs that I currently have. She is still in the place that I was before, forever the skeptic and never shown signs that she would ever believe are pointing to him… yet. I’ve been praying daily for her to be open and to know him as I have come to know him. And ive been given glimmers of hope, she said she started praying to “That which is good, to provide good for me”, not knowing God but I viewed it as a small ray of change. From a girl that didn’t pray she is starting to turn towards him and I know it. We have been together for almost 3 years now, and until now have lived in sin together, we have a very active sex life. I am wrestling with what to do or how to approach taking it out of our lives. I know i need to talk to her about it but I’m concerned because I want to also ask for her hand in marriage. I am going to go the conventional route speaking to her father for permission but my biggest concern is how to speak to her about all of this. I don’t want to propose while explaining this new restriction and my intentions (worst proposal of the year award). I’m not sure what to do, i’m praying but I need assistance and figured you all may be able to share some guidance.